


A Journal of Conquests

by onceuponafewtimes



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Accidental Love, Alternate Universe - Celebrity, Alternate Universe - High School, Bets & Wagers, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Revenge Scheme, Secrets, Winter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-31
Updated: 2013-07-31
Packaged: 2017-12-22 01:02:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 40,567
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/907052
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/onceuponafewtimes/pseuds/onceuponafewtimes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jongin had a journal he liked to write in. (Cruel Intentions AU!)</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Journal of Conquests

**Author's Note:**

> This is a Cruel Intentions AU. 
> 
> This fic was written upon the request from a friend on twitter, who told me specific scenes to write out. I began this long writing journey in the beginning of January of this year (2013), had to drop it for a while because of university, and then picked it back up for summer and Camp Nanowrimo. 
> 
> I haven't been using my AO3 account, so I figured I should start haha. 
> 
> I hope anyone who takes a chance with this fic enjoys it! 
> 
> (P.S. You can find the original post up on my writing community on livejournal, limitless_sea.)

Loud, crisp footsteps outside in the hallway were the only warning Jongin got before the doors to his room were flung open, swinging to hit the walls with a crack. Light flooded into the dark room, highlighting the creases in the sheets on the bed. Jongin looked up from between the girl’s wantonly spread thighs, scowling when he saw his rather gorgeous step-brother, Taemin, stride into the room without a care about what he was barging in on.

The girl let out a small noise of shock at being caught in such a compromising position, quickly scrambling up from the mattress and running around to put on her clothes. Jongin watched her, watched as the visible skin slowly disappeared from his view, with a hint of regret. He’d almost had her, he thought to himself. So close, and yet so far. He glared at Taemin for interrupting, and Taemin, not even sparing the girl a glance as she rushed out of the room, smirked back in reply.

Taemin leaned against the frame of the doorway, posture relaxed and confident. He didn’t look like he’d be leaving anytime soon, unfortunately enough. Jongin stifled a sigh, rolling over onto his back, not bothering to cover up his nude form. If Taemin was going to interrogate him, Jongin might as well be comfortable while it happened.

He resisted the urge to rub at his arms when a brisk breeze washed over him.

He found his room becoming steadily chilly. The cool air was coming in through the open doors Taemin hadn’t bothered to shut again, chasing out all the warmth his room had held. His lips thinned when he pressed them together in exasperation.

“Can’t you close the doors?” Jongin asked drolly, goosebumps rising on his skin. “It’s cold.” 

“So,” Taemin said, completely ignoring Jongin’s request as he arched a perfect brow and trailed his eyes leisurely down Jongin’s bare body. He paused, staring at Jongin’s semi-hard erection, before raising his eyes again to meet Jongin’s. “How was your sex therapy today?” 

“Well, sex therapy _was_ going well. Until you interrupted, that is.” Jongin rolled his eyes and pulled some of his bedsheets toward him, using it to wipe the clear liquid glistening on his lips. An enticing smirk pulled at Taemin’s lips, and Jongin watched, grip loosening on the blankets, as his step-brother straightened from the doorway to walk slowly into the room. Taemin’s hips swayed with unsaid promises, and Jongin wondered what it would be like to press his own promises upon them. 

“It didn’t go well,” Taemin assumed, climbing onto the bed as he thought out loud. He sat on the edge innocently, rubbing his hands against the sheets almost absentmindedly as he watched Jongin with expectant eyes. Jongin eyes darted from the small, circling movements back to Taemin’s face. 

"I've successfully ruined my therapist, if that's what you're asking. She didn’t even stand a chance."

Jongin's eyes darkened with interest when Taemin slowly pushed himself up further onto the bed. The sheets rustled with the newly added weight. Taemin’s shadow made its way across the bed until it blocked the hallway light from Jongin’s face. Jongin stared upwards, slowly drinking in the delicate, angelic features of his step-brother as Taemin stared down at him. 

Taemin got close enough that Jongin could feel minty breath puff against his lips. Something akin to desire pooled in the pit of Jongin’s stomach, and his body clenched in anticipation. Jongin, however, made no move to do anything about it - he just watched as the space between their faces slowly shrunk.

“Want to do something for me?” Taemin asked in a whisper (more like purr, actually), and his fingers skimmed up Jongin’s rib cage teasingly. The pads of his fingers played against his ribs as they would a piano, light but firm. Jongin breathed in deeply, controlling his urge to pin his step-brother down and do something wicked to him. Instead, he narrowed his eyes thoughtfully.

“Depends on what you want,” he said warily, catching Taemin’s fleeting hand in his own. Taemin pursed his lips at the unwanted touch, shaking off Jongin’s hand. And the moment was broken just like that. The hallway light returned to his eyes, and the bed became cold once more as Taemin pushed to his feet, smiling.

“The Jungs are going to be visiting today,” Taemin said, face positively sweet. Warning bells went off in Jongin’s head. His step-brother was planning something horrible again; that face could only mean trouble. Taemin checked his watch, lips pursed in fake thoughtfulness. “Actually, they should be here within the hour.”

“And so?” Jongin asked cautiously. He pushed himself up to a sitting position, crossing his legs at the ankles. Taemin rolled his eyes.

“That was subtle talk for, ‘You better be ready in an hour,’” Taemin said slowly, articulating each syllable as if to help Jongin comprehend it. He grinned at Jongin’s irritated expression after, eyes crinkling into pretty crescent moons, before swaying out of the room. Jongin watched Taemin’s ass as he went.

He released a sigh, dropping back onto the bed to stare up at the ceiling blankly. He’d wanted to do nothing but sleep, eat, and fuck, but he guessed that was just a mere fantasy of his which wouldn’t come true... at least, not today. He rolled himself over, pushed himself up again, and meandered to his closet, scratching irritatedly at the skin just under his belly button.

He might as well humor Taemin, he thought. Maybe Taemin was planning something that would be a point of interest to Jongin as well... (Jongin rolled his eyes at the thought though. Since when did he ever find what Taemin was doing interesting?)

He wasn’t feeling underwear at the moment, but he supposed it was a good thing the guests would never know whether he was wearing underwear or not. He could go commando. The thought made him brighten and he grabbed his jeans with a smile.

  
  


 

 

When Jongin finally left his room - perfection took time, after all, and so did his journal entries - Taemin was already sitting in the living room, posture impeccably straight and face innocent and cavity-inducingly sweet. Jongin wanted to honestly barf just looking at that angelic countenance; if only people knew the devil that lurked behind that cute facade.

Across from Taemin sat two girls - sisters, Jongin assumed, due to their resembling features. He squinted at them from the safety of the hallway, wondering why they seemed so familiar - or rather, why the _older_ looking one seemed so familiar. He idly rubbed his pointer finger and thumb together.

When the older sister leaned forward, allowing her long, golden hair to flow over her shoulder, Jongin realized where he’d “seen” her before. He smirked.

Jung Jessica, huh?

She had been known as an Ice Princess back in her high school days, both in and out of the bedroom. She was strangely cold and passive between the sheets, according to her old suitors. Jongin wanted to snort at the thought. When he’d gotten Jessica into his bed, though, she’d been a screamer.

Then again, he thought to himself blandly, everyone was a screamer when he had them in his bed, so he supposed Jessica wasn’t alone in that aspect.

His gaze dragged from Jessica to land on the unknown girl sitting next to her. She had the slightest hint of Jessica in her. He considered her for a moment, staring hard until a name surfaced in his mind. Ah yes, hadn’t Jessica told him something about a spoiled, bratty little sister? If Jongin remembered correctly, Jessica’s sister was named Krystal.

Jongin smiled, pleased with his memory. He took pride in his ability to remember names - it kept him on the “good side” with all the people he’d fucked and dumped throughout his high school career.

He studied the girl (Krystal, his mind supplied again helpfully), wondering if she was the reason Taemin had his precious panties in a wad. She was pretty enough, he supposed, for Taemin to be mildly irritated by her, with her long brown hair and thin, lanky limbs. Still, she wasn’t to his tastes, and he wondered why Taemin wanted him to be there in the first place.

A jiggle of dishes behind him made him turn around. Kevin, their part-time friend and part-time butler, gave him a small nod before he neatly sidestepped Jongin to go into the living room, the scent of rich green tea filling the air.

Taemin turned around, murmuring a quiet expression of gratitude in English as his eyes slipped passed Kevin’s shoulder to meet Jongin’s eyes. His face twisted, one moment sweet and the next wickedly pleased, before rearranging his features as he turned back to face the two sisters.

“Oh, I see you know English as well, Taemin,” Jessica said, smile satisfied by the revelation. Krystal remained slouched on the couch near Jessica, staring at her nails in disinterest.

“Ah, yes,” Taemin said modestly. Jongin resisted the urge to roll his eyes. “I’ve been trying to learn English in my spare time. It’s the universal language, after all, and getting into a college in America is a dream I’ve had since I’ve been a boy.”

“Are you aiming for an Ivy League, perhaps?” Jessica wondered out loud, approval ringing in her voice. “What a great goal, Taemin. If only some of your aspirations rubbed off on that incompetent brother of yours...”

“So I’m incompetent?” Jongin asked, finally walking out from where he’d been lurking. A flash of misplaced joy sparked through him when he saw Jessica’s jaw slack open in shock. Her posture grew straighter than a ruler, jaw snapping shut with a _click_ as her eyes ran over his figure. He resisted the urge to pose mockingly.

At his arrival, Krystal sat up, eyeing him interestedly. He ignored her in favor of her older sister. Smirking at Jessica, he continued, “That’s not what you said when I fucked you two years ago.”

Taemin shoved him, disgust open on his face; Jongin wasn’t fooled by this either - he could easily see the amusement hidden within the depths of Taemin’s eyes.

“So, Jung Jessica,” Jongin said, cocking his hip against the piano nearby. “What brings you to our humble abode?” He didn’t miss the little nudge that Krystal gave her sister at that.

Jessica’s lip curled up into a sneer at the action, and she forced out a tight, “My...sister.”

Krystal didn’t seem to notice Jessica’s distaste, smiling at Jongin infatuatedly.

“My name is Jung Krystal,” she said eagerly, big eyes shining with excitement. Jongin battled against the urge to wince. He really didn’t want another fangirl. “I’m going to your high school at the start of second semester. Nice to meet you.”

Nonetheless...

“People call me Jongin,” he purred out, gliding over to snatch her hand and press a quick kiss to it. As Krystal blushed, Jessica batted him away from her sister, face pink with anger.

“Jongin, control yourself,” Taemin muttered in warning. However, the way Taemin said that was obvious that he meant for the two sisters to hear it as well. For show’s sake (Taemin was putting on such a good act, and Jongin didn’t want to thawt his step-brother’s efforts, after all), Jongin simply waved a flippant hand in the air as he returned to his spot near the piano. Jessica stood up, pulling her unwilling sister by the arm. Taemin stood up as well.

“Thanks for your time, Taemin,” Jessica said politely, eyes shooting back to warily stare at Jongin. “It’s been a pleasure. Please take good care of my sister next semester.”

“Oh, no,” Taemin said, shaking his head with a cheerful smile. “The pleasure was all mine. I’ll send you an email regarding the information you asked about earlier.”

“Thank you,” Jessica said again, and quickly turned to leave. Krystal stopped her, however, and looked over to where Jongin stood, light pink dusting across her high cheekbones.

“It was nice meeting you,” she said shyly. Jongin curled his lips up at one corner and gave a two-fingered salute as the two sisters left. He turned to Taemin was soon as the door slammed shut.

“So, you want to tell me what that was about?” he asked, raising an eyebrow. Taemin didn’t answer him, too busy loosening up his stiff clothing with a distasteful expression marring his features. Taemin tugged once at the tight tie around his neck before giving up and walking over to Jongin, bringing with him the faint smell of spicy cologne.

“Loosen my tie up, please?” Taemin asked, fluttering his eyes cutely. Jongin stifled a sigh, reaching up to pull at the tie expertly.

His fingers stilled when Taemin trailed fingers up his arm with a mysterious smile.

The tension in the air rose. Things steamed in front of Jongin’s eyes, making his vision foggy and unclear as those fingers slid up from his shoulder to caress the sensitive spot on his neck. Taemin leaned in, large, dark eyes looking into Jongin’s, and got so close that Jongin could actually feel the puffs of Taemin’s breath against the corner of lips.

Jongin didn’t dare to breathe. Taemin was so _close_. If he just leaned in by a little, then -

Taemin’s smile twisted into a smirk, and he was gone a heartbeat later, slipping into the hallway with the faintest click of heels against the marbled floor.

Jongin stared after his step-brother dumbly for a moment before following.

 

  


 

 

“I have something I need you to do for me,” Taemin told Jongin as soon as he entered into Taemin’s room. The room was dimly lit by a nice, expensive lamp set on Taemin’s bedside. Jongin slipped in quietly through the door, closing it behind him gently as he stared at Taemin’s bare back. He trailed his eyes up the pale, flawless skin, taking in the ridges of Taemin’s spine and the barest hint of curve to Taemin’s nude, lean arms in the dim light. 

“Let me guess,” Jongin said, resting his eyes on Taemin’s covered ass. Taemin turned around just as he put another shirt on, and Jongin caught a glimpse of dusky nipples before they disappeared underneath the white cloth. “You want me to seduce Krystal and possibly do something horrible to her in the process, and probably for no good reason whatsoever.”

“Wow, how _ever_ did you figure that one out?” Taemin asked him in an awed voice - so awed, in fact, that it could only be faked. Mockery. Jongin scowled. Taemin continued, “Besides, there’s a good reason. She stole Minho away from me.”

Jongin almost snorted out loud. That was it? Krystal “stole” Minho away from Taemin, and that was why he wanted Jongin to seduce her and destroy her? He wasn’t impressed.

Taemin liked to insist that he was straight. And for all Jongin knew, his step-brother _had been_ straight... at least, until a certain Choi Minho walked in, anyway. Suddenly Taemin was willing to take it up the ass. Jongin was pretty sure, though, that Taemin was actually just curious about having sex with another man, and not that he actually liked Minho. After all, there was no such thing as love in a heart as dark as Taemin’s.

“Taemin,” he said as gently as he could (which wasn’t so gently). “I hate to break it to you, but Minho was never yours in the first place.” Minho probably never would be either, Jongin thought to himself. Minho was so grossly touchy with everyone (more so with guys than girls) that there was never a doubt that he was straight.

Something akin to anger flashed in Taemin’s eyes, and something in Jongin hoped he wouldn’t have to pay for his blunt honesty later on. Taemin had a vengeful streak. Thankfully, the anger disappeared as fast as it came.

“He would’ve been mine,” Taemin said pleasantly, trailing his knuckles against Jongin’s collarbones. Goosebumps broke out on Jongin’s skin underneath his shirt. “If only that tramp hadn’t come along and stolen his attention.”

Did Jongin mention that Taemin liked to lie to himself?

Because Taemin really, _really_ liked lying to himself.

Jongin didn’t bother to reply. He didn’t want to deal with a mad Taemin anyway.

“What do you think of her?” Taemin asked, his fingers swirling patterns teasingly across Jongin’s neck. Jongin gazed at his step-brother, eyes half-mast as the beginnings of desire blossomed in his core. He hadn’t had sex in two days, and the lack of fucking was driving his hormones crazy.

Taemin’s voice lowered, husky, as he continued, “She’s cute, isn’t she, with her soft skin and supple breasts.” And then Taemin’s eyes were focused on his, dark and sinful. “Don’t you just want to fuck her?”

“No, not really,” Jongin murmured truthfully. Taemin’s face screwed up with displeasure, and he walked away from Jongin. Jongin breathed in, thankful he had his breathing area (not to mention, his mind) back. Taemin did weird things to his head when he got in that close a proximity to Jongin.

“And why not?” Taemin demanded, wheeling around to pin a glare onto Jongin. Jongin snorted.

“Why would I?” Jongin asked, rolling his eyes. “She won’t do anything for my reputation.” He turned around to leave Taemin’s room, pausing by the door. He smirked at how infuriated Taemin looked. “Besides, she’s way too easy for me. For once, I’d like a challenge.”

  
  


 

 

“National teenage pop sensation Do Kyungsoo reveals he plans to wait to have sex,” Jongin read out loud idly, about to flip to the next page before the words registered in his head. He paused and squinted at the text, wondering if his eyes were just playing tricks on him. Skimming the article, he let a chuckle slip from his lips.

“Wow, I never thought I’d find comedy in this section of the magazine,” Jongin said, laughing to himself.

“Can you stop muttering out loud to yourself like a crazy person? I’m trying to take a nap here,” Taemin muttered grouchily from the couch. Jongin ignored him, rereading the article as his lips twitched up into an entertained smile.

“Hey, Tae,” Jongin said lazily, looking over to where his step-brother was splayed across the couch. Taemin grunted, cracking an irritated eye open. “ _This_ -” Jongin waved the magazine in the air, “- is what you call a challenge.”

“The hell are you even talking about?” Taemin asked blearily. He closed his eye in disinterest soon after. “No, wait. Don’t answer that - I don’t want to know.”

“‘In a recent interview,’” Jongin read out loud anyway. “‘Famous singer Do Kyungsoo revealed that he had made a promise to not have sex until he marries.’ Blah, blah, blah. ‘He says his parents raised him to become a good, virtuous son.’” Jongin paused from reading, staring dreamily down at the magazine page. “Can you imagine the way people would bow down to me if I fucked his ass?”

Taemin sat up with a huff, shooting Jongin an annoyed glance. “I can’t believe people, much less you, would actually _buy_ that shit. The guy is a fucking _celebrity_. There’s no way he hasn’t had sex yet. Besides, your little ‘challenge’ doesn’t live anywhere _near_ us.”

“Ah, see,” Jongin said, getting up to wave the magazine in Taemin’s face gleefully. “But that’s where you’re wrong. According to this article, he will be attending the ‘most prestigious fine arts school in the nation’ next semester. In short, he’ll be going to our school.” Jongin smiled to himself, gazing up at the ceiling. He ignored the bored yawn Taemin let out, too busy caught up in his fantasies. The thought of screwing a rumored celebrity virgin was just too good to pass up. “Can you imagine what fucking him will do to my reputation? I’d be revered as a _god_.”

“What makes you think you stand a chance?” Taemin asked archly.

“This is me we’re talking about,” Jongin replied factually. “They all fall to my charms sooner or later. I give Kyungsoo a month, at _most_.” His step-brother stared at him, unimpressed.

“I see you’re still lacking in self-confidence,” Taemin said snidely before smiling. Jongin stared at him warily, wondering at the abrupt change in expression. Nothing ever came good out of that smile. His predictions were right when Taemin slowly inched toward him, lips pursing into a wicked grin. “So... how about making a bet?”

Jongin’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. Well, he hadn’t been expecting that.

“And what are the terms?” he asked slowly. Taemin didn’t just make random wagers - he made bets to get what he wanted. Jongin couldn’t even count the number of things he’d had to give Taemin because of losing some dumb bet.

“How about you give me...” Taemin paused, tapping a finger thoughtfully against his pouty lips. Jongin stared at Taemin, and dread bloomed in the pit of his gut. Taemin smiled, pulling Jongin down on top of him. Jongin grunted when he landed, going stock still when Taemin’s breath skimmed lightly against his jaw.

“How about you give me those autographed shoes of yours?” Taemin asked, fingers brushing through Jongin’s hair. “You know, the ones that you got from that broadway star you look up to.”

Jongin snapped out of his daze, pushing himself away to sneer at his step-brother.

“Like hell I’m betting those shoes,” he said, clicking his tongue. “You’re crazy if you think I’d even let you _touch_ them. They’re worth more than anything in this house, both my car and that weird car of yours that cost a fortune included.”

“Even with the chance of screwing me?” Taemin asked serenely, leaning back on the couch to rub a hand down his chest. Jongin watched as the hand settled lower and lower until it rested just above the waistband of Taemin’s jeans. When Jongin looked up, the expression on Taemin’s face could only be described as lustful and racy. He cleared his throat, looking away.

“What makes you think I want to screw you?” Jongin asked uselessly.

“Because I’m the only person you can’t have, and it _burns_ you to know,” Taemin answered, smiling like an angel.

  
  


 

 

Jongin ended up taking the bet. As much as Jongin hated to admit it, Taemin was right; no way was Jongin passing up a chance the dominate his sly, cunning step-brother, even at the expense of his specially autographed shoes. Fucking Taemin into oblivion was far more priceless than anything else.

Besides, Jongin was sure he would win, anyway. He’d fucked less famous celebrities before, and taking a crack at Kyungsoo couldn’t be too different, right?

Right.

  
  


  
  


“And what brings the great Kim Jongin over to see little ole’ me?”

Jongin turned around to see Baekhyun leaning a hip against the wall. He looked quite good, eyelids heavily lined with dark make-up and clothes casual but form fitting. Jongin licked his lips, sauntering over to pull Baekhyun against him. He smiled when Baekhyun humored him, looking up at him with a teasing quirk of his eyebrow.

“You know,” Jongin said, running his hands down Baekhyun’s shoulder blades to slip his hands into the back pockets of Baekhyun’s jeans. The warmth from Baekhyun seeped into him, and he savored it. “It’s been awhile since we had a go at it. What do you say? Wanna do a round?” He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

Baekhyun grinned, leaning up to bite at Jongin’s bottom lip before pulling away. “Now, you _know_ we aren’t compatible at all,” he scolded Jongin teasingly, settling a safe distance away from Jongin again. “Besides, you aren’t as good at that sex thing as you like to think.”

Jongin scoffed, but a smile lit up his face. “Neither are you, you know.” Baekhyun let out a laugh.

The thing Jongin liked about Baekhyun was that he understood Jongin. Though they were labeled as the two most promiscuous guys on campus, they got along surprisingly well - so well, in fact, that Jongin sometimes thought of Baekhyun as the closest thing to a best friend he had.

"Now, we both know that's a lie," Baekhyun said arrogantly, gesturing a hand to himself. "I mean, who wouldn't be satisfied with this?"

Jongin opened his mouth to retort, determined to get the last word in, but Baekhyun cut him off with a delighted grin.

"Was there a _real_ reason you came to visit me? Or did you come to just be graced by my presence?” Baekhyun raised an eyebrow. Jongin snorted, then thought better of it and bowed mockingly. He was there to get Baekhyun’s help with something, so it was best to flatter the man while he could.

“Oh, Great One,” he said dramatically. He caught sight of Baekhyun’s rather unimpressed face and resisted the urge to snicker. Laughing now would only ruin his moment. He continued, “Please help me retrieve some dearly needed information.” He looked up and curled his lips into a half-grin. “After all, no one has better networking than you do.”

Baekhyun smiled at the praise, pleased. He waved a hand in the air regally.

“As much as I like hearing nothing but flattery from you... What do you need my networking for? You’ve never come to me for help this blatantly before,” Baekhyun said, tone suspicious but face cheerful.

“I need to know about Do Kyungsoo, the idol coming to our school next semester,” Jongin said carefully. The little “verbal game” they were playing now was tricky - he had to play his pieces right. One incorrect move here could land Jongin’s prized shoes into Taemin’s pretty, little hands, and he _definitely_ did not want that. “You can help, right?”

Baekhyun’s lips twitched up into a smirk, aware of how Jongin neatly sidestepped his question. However, Baekhyun decided to humor him.

“Well, my services will cost you some,” Baekhyun replied. Jongin was already pulling out two crisp one-hundred dollar bills from his wallet.

“I hope American dollar bills is fine with you,” Jongin said airily, waving the bills around lightly. “I’m not carrying any Korean currency on me at the moment.”

Baekhyun took the money with a flick of his wrists and a devilish smile. "American currency is _just_ fine.” He managed to tuck them away in his ridiculously tight skinny jeans. “You're in luck, Kim Jongin. I happen to be sleeping with the guy whose house Kyungsoo will be staying at before he transfers over second semester."

"What a coincidence," Jongin muttered, sure that it was anything but. Baekhyun merely stared at him, a mocking little smile on his lips. Jongin resisted the urge to pout and looked away instead. "Can you set up a meeting? Preferably today."

“Hmm,” Baekhyun said, tapping his lips thoughtfully. “I think we’re meeting up tonight for a little something-something, if you know what I mean.” Baekhyun wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

“Great,” Jongin replied drolly. He didn’t care about others’ sex lives, especially when it didn’t involve him. He looked at Baekhyun questioningly. “I’m guessing you’re okay with me crashing your little...‘something-something’?” Baekhyun simply smiled.

“Why should it matter to me?” Baekhyun asked carelessly, flapping a hand in the air. “Not getting laid a day out of many doesn’t mean much to me.”

“So I’ll be seeing you around midnight,” Jongin said, already turning away. Excitement thrummed in his veins. He was one step closer to winning the bet.

“Midnight it is,” Baekhyun agreed. “Oh, and by the way, he’s a little in the closet. Don’t break him too much, okay?”

  
  


  
  


Another thing Jongin liked about Baekhyun was that Baekhyun always followed through on his promises, even if getting a promise out of him in the first place was just the _slightest bit_ costly. By the time Jongin arrived at Baekhyun’s house and let himself in, the fun had already started. Everyone was in place. A shiver of delight tingled through him.

"Mm, you like my cock, don't you? Such a good little cock sucker."

Jongin held in a snort from outside the bedroom, pressing a closed first to his mouth as if it would help to keep the laughter in. He straightened himself up, fiddling with the recorder in his grasp as he smiled to himself with twitching lips. He never thought Baekhyun would go for the dirty talkers. Baekhyun, no matter how he looked on the outside, was actually quite a prude on the inside. Baekhyun must like his new toy, Jongin thought to himself idly. Otherwise Baekhyun wouldn’t put up with the language.

He checked his watch, observed the time, and said out loud, “Perfect timing.” He turned on his video recorder, and then hefted it in the air as he barged into the room unannounced. The door slammed hard against the wall, and bounced back to greet Jongin lightly. He shoved it away, all his attention focused on the little screen on his video recorder.

“Holy fu-”

Jongin walked through the entrance with a smile on his face, casually looking around the room as the two lumps under the bed frantically moved and stilled.

“I thought you said the door was locked!” the first lump hissed from under the covers. New boy toy had a mysterious, almost-Chinese accent, Jongin noticed.

“Oh, did I? I must’ve been so eager to get laid that I really forgot to lock the door,” the second lump, Baekhyun, said blandly. “Sorry about that.” But it was obvious Baekhyun wasn’t sorry. Jongin rolled his eyes. His friend never changed, huh?

He walked close to the bed, eyeing the silken sheets interestedly before picking at them. He felt them between his fingers, enjoying the way they slid over his skin, before taking a firm grip of the sheets and pulling roughly. The sheets slid from the bed, revealing the nearly naked, rumpled boys hiding under to the little red light of his recorder. The blond boy lying next to Baekhyun squawked and tried to hide his face in the other’s arm to no avail. Baekhyun merely seemed to be stifling a grin, taking in the recorder with interest.

Jongin whistled when he got a good look at the body lying beside Baekhyun.

“Well, well, well,” Jongin said, chuckling. He looked over to Baekhyun. “You never told me you were fucking Luhan. Isn’t this guy rumored to have been asked by some big shot producer to play a part in an upcoming movie once he graduates?”

“You never asked,” Baekhyun replied, shrugging. He didn’t appear to care that he was fucking someone potentially famous, as he probably would have with someone else. Curious indeed, Jongin thought. He looked to Luhan.

“Luhan,” he called, taking a dark delight in the way Luhan’s pale, slight body tensed in the dim light. “I see you’re enjoying the... _finer_ pleasures...life has to offer.”

Luhan pushed himself up from where he’d been trying to disappear into the comforter and looked pleadingly at Jongin. “Please don’t tell anyone about this.”

Jongin sighed exaggeratedly. “I’m not so sure I can give into that request,” he said apologetically. “You have to understand, my mouth can get a little...loose.”

Luhan scrambled from the bed, throwing himself down at Jongin’s feet with wide, terrified eyes. “Please, you have no idea how ruined my career will be if word gets out about this. Please don’t tell. Please. _Please_. I’ll do anything, as long as you don’t say a word of this incident to anyone!”

“Well...” Jongin trailed off thoughtfully. He stopped recording and crossed his arms. “I don’t think I really want anything I don’t already have...” He resisted the urge to smile when Luhan practically deflated; he had Luhan in the palm of his hands. Now, all that was left to do was to let Luhan eat out of it. His face brightened. “Actually, I do think I have something I want from you.”

“What? I’ll do anything,” Luhan said, almost eagerly. His big eyes sparkled hopefully up at Jongin.  

“Let me stay over at your house for a while,” Jongin said, maintaining a straight face through sheer will. Victory was making him giddy.

A frown crossed Luhan’s face, and his nod was hesitant. He seemed suspicious of the favor, but Jongin knew Luhan wouldn’t turn him down - not if he wanted to keep his future career afloat, anyway.

“Okay,” Luhan finally agreed.

The assent was music to Jongin’s ears.

  
  


  
  
  


Luhan’s house was nice. A mansion set within the city limits, the lawn was a vibrant green and the statues a dignified grey. Jongin ran his fingers through the water fountain’s spray, taking a childish delight in the cool sensation over his hands before shaking the water off. Since it was the biting season of winter, his fingers quickly numbed over in the chilly temperature, and he shoved them back into his coat in a futile attempt to warm them up. 

Luhan waited a few meters ahead of him impatiently, cheeks rosy from giving Jongin a tour around the outside of the house. Jongin spared him a glance before passing by him, moving toward the house even though part of him still wanted to stay outdoors. He supposed he could be nice for once. Luhan was clearly freezing and wanted to go inside. Jongin accepted this easily; he'd gotten a good feel for the outside layout anyway.

The door opened and closed behind them silently. He toed off his shoes politely at the door and turned to Luhan.

“Let’s run through the scenario once more, shall we?” Jongin asked hypothetically, leaning against the nearest wall casually. “As soon as Do Kyungsoo arrives, you will...?”

“I will greet him enthusiastically,” Luhan stated drolly, rolling his eyes. “Soon after, though, I’ll remember that I ‘forgot’ to do something, and ‘hand’ him over to you for a tour of the house while I ‘conspicuously’ leave the house for a few hours.” Jongin smiled at the answer, pleased.

“Oh, good,” he said, nodding. “I’m glad you still remember everything. But I think you forgot the most important thing. Under no circumstances are you-”

“To tell him about you blackmailing me, or anything bad about you at all,” Luhan finished, moving passed Jongin with an exasperated expression marring his face. “Yeah, I remember that, too.”

Jongin watched him leave the room thoughtfully. Kyungsoo was bound to show up sometime around noon of the next day, according to Luhan. That meant he still had time to perfect his seduction techniques. He snorted at the thought before smiling. Do Kyungsoo would never realize what hit him.

  
  


  
  


Jongin concentrated on the clock upon the wall, studying it intently as one...two...three seconds ticked by. Absentmindedly drumming his fingers against his knee, he let out a large sigh as the minute hand moved slowly, taunting him with the sluggish pace. He forced a calm upon himself; staring at the clock wouldn’t make Kyungsoo appear any faster, and it would only drive him to even more impatience. 

Patience was, after all, the only virtue Jongin had, and he planned on keeping it.

Standing up, he walked to the coat closet, slipped his coat and shoes on, and opened the front door. He eyed the buildup of snow sticking to the ground before smiling.

He knew exactly what to do to pass his time.

  
  


  
  


An hour later, suffering from a runny nose and only half finished with an igloo, Jongin looked up when he heard the engine of a car roar in the near distance. He paused, gloved hands resting upon a block of snow as he thought about what this meant. Was Luhan finally back, and this time with their...special guest? Excitement thrummed through him and he almost discarded all his hard work to greet them before he forced himself to take a deep breath. 

Play things cool, Jongin, he reminded himself. He couldn’t act like he knew Kyungsoo was coming, otherwise that would give everything away. He was supposed to just be at Luhan’s house because he was “buddy-buddy” with Luhan, not because he had to seduce Kyungsoo to win a bet.

That decided, he got back to work on his igloo, tongue sticking out in concentration. He scooped up a pile of snow, using his wet, soggy gloves to pat the white coldness together into a solid block of snow. His hands were numb - they’d long since stopped feeling icy, and Jongin couldn’t decide whether that was a good thing or not - but he didn’t let it stop him from staying outside. It’d been awhile since he had gotten the chance to play in the snow, and he was going to get his fill of the chilly wonderland before he missed his chance.

The sound of shoes crunching through unmarred snow slowly brought him to his senses right as he finished another block to put on top of the igloo. He blinked, turning around when the footsteps halted behind him.

And there he was, standing there with cheeks ruddy from the cold and eyes wide as they took in the igloo. Do Kyungsoo. He was cuter in real life than in the pictures, Jongin noticed satisfactorily.

Jongin took a deep breath, the beginnings of a smirk twitching onto his lips. Let the games begin, he thought to himself.

“Luhan!” Jongin exclaimed, pouting up at his temporary housemate. “That was cruel of you, leaving like that without telling me!” He watched the way Luhan’s eyes darkened in momentarily surprise... but the actor-to-be wasn’t an actor-to-be for no reason, Jongin thought. He’d picked the right person to blackmail, it seemed. Luhan quickly masked the shock on his face, a pleasant expression surfacing.

“Sorry, Jongin,” Luhan said sheepishly, eyes crinkling as he smiled. “I had to pick up a friend.” He gestured to where Kyungsoo stood silently, as if unwilling to intrude upon the moment.

“A friend?” Jongin questioned out loud, eyes turning upon the figure. He observed Kyungsoo, watching the way his eyes sparkled like the winter wonderland around them, and how small he seemed to be, huddled within his giant coat. He looked like a regular teenager... but Jongin couldn’t deny that there was something uncharacteristic about Kyungsoo. He had an air around him that no regular high school student could have. Jongin noted that with faint approval.

“Ah!” Jongin cried as he ‘recognized’ Luhan’s friend, clapping his hands together and pushing himself up to his feet. “I’ve seen you before! You’re Do Kyungsoo, aren’t you?” he asked eagerly, gazing at the other male intently.

But instead of blushing at the close scrutiny like Jongin imagined, Kyungsoo merely returned Jongin’s stare with a stare of his own. A smile formed on Kyungsoo’s lips, and Jongin watched in something akin to shock as it transformed the idol’s face.

Kyungsoo owned a _really_ nice smile, he thought to himself, satisfied at this observation. He blinked once, twice, to clear the image from his head.

If he’d had any reservations about fucking Kyungsoo before, they were all long gone by now. He simply had to have that smile in his bed, and that was that.

With a smile like that, Kyungsoo would be his greatest conquest yet.

Jongin bowed slightly and said, “My name is Kim Jongin. Nice to meet you.” Kyungsoo responded with a bow of his own and a smile.

“Oh, man,” Luhan groaned abruptly, hitting himself lightly on the head. He seemed bothered by something. Jongin and Kyungsoo turned to stare at him questioningly, and Luhan shot them an apologetic smile.

“Sorry, guys,” Luhan said, rubbing the back of his head sheepishly. “I have to leave for a bit. I seem to have forgotten that I was supposed to run an errand before I picked Kyungsoo up.”

Jongin held in a smile at that. So Luhan was already putting the plan into motion, huh? His approval for the actor continued to climb. Maybe Baekhyun really _had_ picked up someone impressive. Luhan turned big eyes onto Jongin and Kyungsoo, his acting flawless. Had Jongin not known about the plan in the first place, he would’ve been completely fooled. Jongin cast a secretive glance over to the unsuspecting Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo was a goner.

“Is it okay if you can show Kyungsoo around, Jongin? I should be back within an hour or two!” Luhan continued, pulling up his sleeves to glance at his watch. He winced when he saw the time, and then clapped his hands together pleadingly as his eyes begged at them.

Jongin blinked, gathering his wits. His forehead wrinkled in false worry as he nodded. “I’m completely fine with giving Kyungsoo a tour around the house, if he’s okay with it.” He glanced over to Kyungsoo, a silent question in his eyes. Kyungsoo smiled at him before turning to Luhan.

“Go ahead and do whatever you need to, Luhan,” Kyungsoo said cheerfully, breathing coming out in cute little puffs of white clouds. Jongin watched them dissipate in the clear, crisp air of winter as an indescribable feeling welled up within him. “I’m sure I can get around fine with Jongin at my side.” Kyungsoo said this as he linked arms with Jongin as if to prove an unsaid point.

Jongin rolled his eyes downward to look at their linked arms in surprise, speechless, before snapping out of it. He pulled Kyungsoo closer to him, a small part of him loving the warmth radiating from the idol, and grinned charmingly at Luhan. His eyes, however, told another story. You can leave now, he said internally, eyes narrowing on the soon-to-be actor as he fought to keep the smile in place.

Luhan observed them for a second, recognition passing through his eyes right before he sighed and nodded.

“Okay,” Luhan finally said, and his features brightened in thankfulness. He turned to leave. “Then I’ll be going now. Thanks a lot, Jongin! I’ll see you two later!”

Jongin and Kyungsoo waved cheerfully as they bid Luhan farewell, watching in silence as Luhan left with snow crunching in his wake. The sound of a car’s engine purred to life somewhere in the distance, the sound growing distant before disappearing altogether.

And then there were two, Jongin thought. 

As if hearing his thoughts, Kyungsoo turned to him with a bright smile. He unlinked their arms and pointed to the unfinished igloo in the snow.

“You look like you need help with that,” Kyungsoo said, winking. “Mind if I help finish it?” 

“No,” Jongin said, smiling. “I wouldn’t mind that at all.”

  
  


  
  


After finishing the igloo, the pair made their way into the house, shivering. Jongin’s hands were completely numb, and he winced when he thought about the aches and pains he would have to feel later when they warmed up. Pulling his completely sopping wet gloves off, he ushered Kyungsoo inside. Kyungsoo left his shoes outside to dry, and Jongin did the same, quickly closing the door as if to seal away the chill. They stood in the doorway for a moment, pants soaked with melted snow and bones shaking inside their skin. 

Kyungsoo’s cheeks, nose, and ears were completely red from staying outside in the chilly weather. Jongin figured he wasn’t faring any better than the idol - he couldn’t even _feel_ his face anymore, if he were completely honest with himself.

“Mr. Kim,” a polite female voice intruded on them. Jongin turned around, absently rubbing his hands together for warmth. The maid offered a small bow, eyes downcast. “There’s a fire on in the living room, if you wish to warm up. The butler is also fetching some dry clothes and towels for you two. Would you like me to make some hot chocolate for you and the guest?”

The maids and butlers around the house had already been told that Jongin would be the one to give Kyungsoo a tour, Luhan had told him. Jongin smiled at the memory. Though Luhan might not have liked being blackmailed, he sure was doing an efficient job in keeping up his end of the deal.

He glanced at Kyungsoo questioningly. “Do you want something to drink?” he asked, eyes gazing at Kyungsoo’s red face.

“Hot chocolate sounds like heaven right now,” Kyungsoo told him, flashing both him and the maid a small smile. The action was stiff, as if his face was still numb from the cold. It was a little... adorable, Jongin had to admit. He looked away, disturbed by the thought. When the hell had adorable existed in _his_ vocabulary?

“We’ll have some hot chocolate, then,” he told the maid. She nodded, glanced up once to look at both of them, and then left. Jongin stared after her. For some reason, he dreaded being alone with Kyungsoo. He frowned at the thought, confused. What, exactly, was he afraid of?

“Well?” Kyungsoo asked, voice amused. Jongin looked at him, blinking. The color was already fading from Kyungsoo’s face, and his smile seemed easier than just a moment ago. “Are you going to show me how to get to the living room, or do I have to find it myself?”

  
  


  
  


“So, where are your bags?” Jongin asked, sipping his hot chocolate slowly. He didn’t look at Kyungsoo, opting instead to stare at the fire crackling behind the safety of the partially open glass screen.

"According to Luhan, my bags are already in my room, " Kyungsoo said, and a crackle from the wood in the fireplace plunged them back into silence. Jongin fidgeted, unused to the silence (normally people initiated conversations with _him_ , not the other way around), and risked a glance at Kyungsoo from the corner of his eyes. Irritatingly enough, Kyungsoo didn’t seem at all bothered by the silence as he was. 

In fact, Kyungsoo seemed to bask in the peace of the moment, his breathing deep and calm as he peered absently into the fire. Jongin watched, transfixed by the way the firelight reflected in Kyungsoo’s dark eyes. Kyungsoo’s face glowed with an inner contentment, a sort of peace that Jongin had no knowledge over. He seemed...happy...with life. Jongin hadn’t seen that happiness in years.

Something tightened in his chest.

Jongin couldn’t help but stare blatantly, throwing subtilty to the wind. Something about Kyungsoo was strangely appealing.

As if he could hear Jongin’s thoughts, Kyungsoo turned to him and, when he noticed Jongin gawking at him, smiled.

“Did I get some hot chocolate on my face?” he asked Jongin. Long used to being watched by others, Kyungsoo wasn’t at all bothered by it. In fact, he appeared more amused than anything else. Jongin blinked, composing himself. Since when did he ever treat anyone, even celebrities, like this? The answer to that was, never. He let a smirk turn his lips upward, his staring becoming purposeful.

“No,” Jongin said slowly, eyes tracing the gentle slope of Kyungsoo’s cheeks. “I just rather like looking at you. Is there a problem with that?” He would’ve said more, but he didn’t even know if his advances were welcome yet. Jongin made a note to test the waters a bit before he tried anything. It wasn’t so much that he was scared of the rejection; it was more of the fact that he’d have to work harder to get Kyungsoo to give into him if he _was_ rejected.

Heaven forbid Jongin working hard at _anything_ , honestly. He had a list of things he hated putting effort into, and conquering someone in bed was most definitely on it.

But then again, he supposed that if he didn’t have to work hard at getting into the virgin celebrity’s pants, he’d end up more dissatisfied than naught. Jongin _had_ been hoping for a challenge by seducing Kyungsoo into his bed.

After all, what was the point in all of this if he couldn’t bask in the glory of his success later?

  
  


  
  


After the fireplace dried them off thoroughly, Jongin gave Kyungsoo a tour of the mansion. As time wore on, it became more and more obvious to Jongin that Kyungsoo was rather... unique, to put it simply. Kyungsoo didn’t act at all like Jongin had expected. Jongin’s casual flirting wasn’t rebuffed nor was it ignored. In fact, Kyungsoo seemed to take the flirting easily, tossing a good amount of flirting back into Jongin’s face. Strange enough, though, the flirting seemed impersonal. It seemed to come as easily as breathing, like it was a part of Kyungsoo’s nature. 

Jongin wasn’t sure what to think about that.

“Now this,” Jongin said, pushing open the doors open, “is the indoor pool room.” He turned to Kyungsoo, watching the way the idol’s mouth dropped open in astonishment. He stifled the urge to smile at the expression, instead grabbing Kyungsoo’s hand to pull him into the large pool area. The waterfall was up and running, and Jongin pointed out the fish tank within the pool.

“Luhan never told me he had an awesome pool room,” Kyungsoo said in awe, still taking everything in with wide eyes.

“Isn’t it great?” Jongin asked, sidling up close enough behind Kyungsoo’s back that he could feel the idol’s warmth. He noted with satisfaction that Kyungsoo still hadn’t let go of his hand.

“Is it bad that I just want to strip naked and dive in?” Kyungsoo asked, his voice dreamy. Jongin smiled, amused.

“Why don’t you, then?” Jongin asked. Kyungsoo looked up at him, face thoughtful as he observed Jongin. Jongin felt his smile lock into place at the scrutiny. Finally, Kyungsoo smiled.

“Only if you do it first.”

  
  


  
  


“So do you have a house around here?” Kyungsoo asked him curiously as they continued their tour. They ran into servants a few times, but other than that, they had the entire place to themselves. Which reminded Jongin, he hadn’t seen Luhan’s parents since he had started staying over. 

He made a note to ask Luhan or Baekhyun about that later.

“Nah,” Jongin said, tossing back a smile to Kyungsoo. “I live down in the city. I come over to Luhan’s every once in a while to get away from the hustle and bustle.”

“I see,” Kyungsoo said thoughtfully. “Then do you, by chance, go to the fine arts high school that Luhan goes to?” Jongin carefully kept his face forward, not wanting his face to reveal anything as he hummed an agreement. A chuckle floated to Jongin’s ears and he turned around curiously. Kyungsoo seemed amused by something, but shook his head when Jongin raised an inquisitive eyebrow.

“I’m going to that high school starting next semester,” Kyungsoo said, smiling. Jongin wasn’t sure how to react to that, but he soon realized the opportunity laid out before him. This would be a good time to talk about Kyungsoo’s latest magazine interview. He smiled, allowing his teeth to peek out from between his lips.

“Ah, yes, I remember reading about that,” Jongin said, grin widening as they trudged up the stairs to the second floor. Finally done with the lower half of the mansion, Jongin figured that the tour was pretty much done. Bedrooms mainly occupied the second floor, with a towel and clothing closet and a large entertainment room. Jongin pointed the doors out as they went, but decided to not go in them. It was already close to four in the afternoon, and he figured he had to let Kyungsoo settle in. “I think you said something about changing schools in one of your interviews?”

Kyungsoo cocked his head, confused. “Which interview? I’ve done quite a bit of them, you know.” They stopped outside of Kyungsoo’s room. Jongin idly pointed out that he was across the hallway if Kyungsoo needed anything.

“The one about you waiting to have sex until marriage.” He leaned against the wall, watching the way Kyungsoo’s features shifted on his face. Fortunately, Kyungsoo didn’t seem to suspect anything. He decided to push for a little more information. “Was all of that true, by the way?”

“What do you mean?” Kyungsoo asked, blinking.

“Were you actually telling the truth during that interview?” Jongin asked curiously. “That you’re still a virgin and won’t have sex until you marry?”

“Well, yeah,” Kyungsoo said as he shrugged. “Personally, I don’t believe in casual sex, so I suppose it’s more of the fact that I won’t have sex until I’m actually in love.”

“But that’s not fun,” Jongin said, frowning. He didn’t understand the concept of waiting to have sex with someone you “loved.” More importantly, did love actually even exist? He’d never personally seen it, so the thought puzzled him.

Kyungsoo merely shrugged again, a mysterious smile tugging at the corner of his lips. Before Jongin could question him further, Kyungsoo disappeared into his room with a wave and a silent click of the door closing. Jongin stared blankly at the opposite wall before pushing off and disappearing into his own room.

  
  


  
  


Jongin picked up his ringing phone, glancing at the caller ID before heaving out a sigh. Taemin. He should’ve guessed. 

He swiped his fingers across the screen to take the call before dragging the phone to his ear. He really didn’t want to deal with Taemin being cruel and callous like typical, so he hoped that it was an unusual day for Taemin.

“Yeah?” he asked into the phone, careful not to reveal his current turmoil in his voice. Taemin was like a predator; he could smell negative emotions and he’d pick at them until they became a hundred times worse. Jongin would know; after all, he’d lived with the guy for practically ten years. One year was enough to show Jongin Taemin’s true colors, much less ten. Maybe an unusual day would loosen Taemin into talking for once.

“Have you started working on Krystal yet?” Taemin asked bluntly. Jongin could almost see Taemin sitting in their living room, bored out of his mind. But even bored out of his mind, Taemin would still be horrifyingly beautiful. Jongin pressed his lips together at the thought.

“Krystal?” he asked, and arched a brow knowing fully well Taemin couldn’t see him. “I’m pretty sure I never said I’d ‘work’ on her in the first place.”

“Actually, I’m pretty sure you did say you’d work on her,” Taemin replied, sounding quizzical. Jongin wasn’t fooled in the least. They both knew Taemin was lying. “Didn’t you say you wanted to fuck her?”

“No,” Jongin snorted. The last thing he wanted to do was actually _do_ Krystal. He’d had enough girls like her to keep him satisfied for a while. Now, all he wanted was change, and an example of said change was a certain someone right across the hallway.

“Oh,” Taemin murmured. Jongin counted to five before Taemin, exactly as expected, said then, “But you’ll work on her anyway, right? If I asked?” Jongin exhaled slowly, careful not to sigh into the phone. He should’ve known this would’ve happened. He weighed his options thoughtfully before he clicked his tongue.

“What’s in it for me?”

  
  


  
  


Jongin hung up from the phone call with Taemin, feeling a thousand times more tired than he had going into the call. He blew out an irritated breath, scowling at nothing, before pushing himself up from the bed he’d been laying on. He walked over to his closet and pulled out a pair of swimming trunks, quickly shucking off his clothes to change. 

Topless and dressed in expensive swim wear, he draped a towel he found in the hallway closet before knocking at Kyungsoo’s door.

Footsteps sounded before Kyungsoo pulled the door open curiously. Jongin lifted the extra towel he had in his grasp and smiled charmingly.

“Wanna go for a swim?” he asked, making sure his eyes crinkled at the edges. Kyungsoo stared at him, surprised, before hesitantly smiling back.

“Sure,” Kyungsoo said, shrugging. “I’ve got nothing better to do before dinner, anyway.” He slowly closed the door. “Give me a minute to change.”

Jongin idly rubbed his bare right arm with his left hand, wondering if Luhan would be coming back anytime soon for dinner. He should be, right? After all, he figured they’d be finished with playing in the swimming pool by around six. How long had Luhan been gone, anyway? Four, five hours?

Jesus, how much fucking did one person need to still not be finished in five hours? he asked himself, irritated.

Kyungsoo’s door opened, and there was Kyungsoo, topless as he turned to close the door. His back was pretty nice, Jongin thought to himself, nodding in approval. His back would probably look really sexy with some hickies trailing down his spine, purple-black bruises that would stand out stark on his pale skin. He smiled, already imagining how he’d put them on Kyungsoo.

Jongin’s eyes dropped. Kyungsoo’s ass was pretty nice, too, he noted, and that satisfied him. He dragged his eyes up just as the idol turned around.

Kyungsoo stood in front of him after closing his door, smiling as he took the extra towel Jongin offered to him.

“Thanks,” Kyungsoo said, wrapping the towel around his bare shoulders. He took one step toward the stairs before glancing at Jongin and smiling sheepishly. “Do you think you can lead the way? I’m not totally sure how to get to the swimming pool.”

Jongin smirked. Taking all that time to memorize the interior layout of Luhan’s mansion was starting to pay off. He led the way down the stairs, Kyungsoo just a step behind him, and took a few turns before stopping before the doors that led into the indoor pool. He opened one, holding it open as he gestured for Kyungsoo to go in first.

They walked into the indoor pool, laying their towels down onto a chair near the edge. Jongin eyed the waterfall running; Luhan had told him earlier that that the middle of the indoor was the deepest part, and to not be deceived into diving into the waterfall expecting no floor underneath for eight feet. The front of the pool and the end of the pool where the waterfall was situation were both shallow ends.

He stepped in, expecting the water to be cold. Just one dip of his toes told him that the water was heated, however, and he sank into it gratefully, letting the water rush over his head, blocking his sight and hearing.

After a peaceful moment passed by underwater, he opened his eyes and saw Kyungsoo duck under the water as well, bubbles floating around him, grappling for purchase on the surface. Jongin went up, shaking out his hair just as Kyungsoo surfaced, blinking water out of his eyes. They grinned at each other, enjoying the water.

Of course, Kyungsoo had to ruin the moment by splashing water at his face.

Jongin sputtered, wiping the water away as Kyungsoo laughed. He glared, then shook his dripping bangs from his forehead.

“I’ll get you back for that,” he vowed, and Kyungsoo pretended to be scared, a dramatically frightened expression on his face before he rolled his eyes.

“I’d like to see you try,” Kyungsoo said arrogantly, smirking.

And try Jongin did.

  
  


  
  


Luhan arrived home with food at seven, which was perfect timing because Jongin and Kyungsoo had already finished showering after their fun in the indoor pool.

Jongin, as he ate a bite of his chicken, eyed the teeth marks in Luhan’s neck with amused, twitching lips. Baekhyun still had that awful habit of marking his property, he could see. For some reason, he really wanted to point it out to Luhan, but he had a feeling that his teasing wouldn’t be welcome at this point, so he just kept his silence. 

Kyungsoo seemed absorbed in eating, eating a surprising amount and going in for more. Jongin couldn’t help staring with wide eyes as Kyungsoo went through chicken after chicken after chicken.

Kyungsoo noticed his staring a few minutes later, and grinned unrepentantly as he said, “I like chicken,” as if that explained everything.

Jongin just nodded, turning back to his own chicken, speechless.

 

  
  


 

Jongin had a journal he liked to write in. Outwardly, it just seemed like a plain, leather-bound journal. It was dark brown with no designs, and wrapped up with a small belt. In a word, the journal was unassuming. That was what Jongin liked about it, though. 

It was a mystery to anyone, even Taemin, about what was within the pages. However, it was so reserved and low-key that Taemin (or anyone else, for that matter) had never tried to read it. No one would ever think cruelty would be written within such a simple binding. Ink flowed through the sheets viciously, staining the beige with its dirty blacks and blues.

Jongin liked to write things about the people he’d conquered within the pages of his journal. Every person he’d fucked was written within it. Sometimes he mercilessly insulted his bedmates - _this girl is a bitch so don’t ever fuck her again_ , or _this guy is too fucking clingy for his own good_. Sometimes he wrote about secrets they shared with him in a fit of passion, or he wrote about the gossip going around which Taemin caught wind of. He wrote everything in the pages. He was proud to admit that it could easily be his school’s worst nightmare.

However, there was one person written within the pages he had yet to fuck. And of course, who else could it have been besides his dear step-brother, Lee Taemin? Taemin was, after all, the whole reason Jongin had started the horrendous journal in the first place. He had about four pages just within the very beginning of the journal dedicated to all of Taemin's bad deeds and goody-two-shoes image.

Jongin glanced over Taemin’s initial page, pen swirling in his grasp as he eyed a picture of Taemin’s smiling face staring up at him. He tapped his pen down against his desk once before scribbling _devil’s worst nightmare_ in a small, untainted space next to Taemin’s picture. He stared at the page again before nodding and flipping to an empty page in back of the book.

He paused, gathering his thoughts as he idly noted that he was running out of free space to write his entries. Maybe he’d have to invest on getting another journal soon.

Tapping his pen down once more, he wrote out the name _Do Kyungsoo_. Then, without a second thought, wrote right underneath it, _The Bet_.

A corner of his mouth lifted into a smirk.

It was official now. He’d written Kyungsoo into his journal of conquests. Now, it was only a matter of time until the idol fell into his hands, and into his journal.

  
  


  
  


A few days later, clad in the thickest clothing they could find, Jongin and Kyungsoo made their way outside for some healthy sunshine. It was still cold, and the snow from yesterday was still stuck to the ground, but the weather was surprisingly nice. Normally, Jongin hated winter because he couldn’t tolerate the cold for more than a week, but for some reason, winter wasn’t as irritating as he’d once thought. 

Maybe he was just in a good mood or something.

A little, childish part of him flushed in gleeful pride when they passed the igloo they’d worked on when Kyungsoo had arrived. The igloo was still standing strong, the snowflakes glittering brightly in the white sunlight. He resisted the urge to smile when he saw Kyungsoo absently pat on the top block of snow as they set off to walk around Luhan’s mansion.

“I’ve missed walking around like this,” Kyungsoo said to him, a wistful note in his voice as he glanced around. The sun’s rays caressed Kyungsoo’s face, bringing a nice, pleased flush onto Kyungsoo’s cheeks. Jongin swallowed and looked away, a little uncomfortable. Kyungsoo glanced over at him as their boots crunched along through the untouched snow.

“It’s hard to get privacy, you know,” Kyungsoo told him, for some reason. Jongin’s discomfort increased. He didn’t want to get to know Kyungsoo. “Being an idol means that nothing you do is a secret. Everyone has to know things about you. It can get a little tiring, if I’m being at all honest with myself.”

Jongin thought about his high school, how people were constantly watching him, constantly waiting for him to make a new move. He’d built up a reputation as a playboy during the years since he’d moved to the area to live with Taemin, and he thought about the lifestyle that came with it. He thought about his reputation, his family’s reputation, and Jongin felt that he could relate to what Kyungsoo was feeling, even just a little.

“It’s a good thing you took a break from it then,” he said, catching Kyungsoo’s eyes when he glanced over.

Something wordless passed between them during that moment, something unspeakable but no less meaningful. Kyungsoo’s wide eyes were a deep color normally, but they were almost golden in the sunlight. They reflected thoughts, reflected feelings, reflected a life that Jongin couldn’t even begin to think of. They reflected something perfect, something... human.

And they took Jongin’s breath away.

  
  


  
  


The next day, after visiting Taemin, Jongin went out to buy something to woo Kyungsoo with. He considered his options carefully; Kyungsoo was a popular idol, after all, and it was only a given that he received enough presents to last him a lifetime. Jongin had to get Kyungsoo something unique - something that Kyungsoo wouldn’t receive on a daily basis, and would cause Jongin to stand out amongst Kyungsoo’s rather dedicated fans.

He squinted as he skimmed the shelves. From deduction, he had already narrowed his gift choices down to something not too expensive. He knew just from the short time he and Kyungsoo had spent together that thoughtful gifts would probably impact Kyungsoo more than anything expensive ever would. Jongin didn’t know how he knew that, but he did. Perhaps, as an idol, Kyungsoo had gotten so many high-priced items from fans that he didn’t feel the desire for such materialistic things anymore, or perhaps it had always been a part of his nature.

Frankly, Jongin just didn’t care why Kyungsoo disliked materialistic items. The only thing he cared about at this point was getting into Kyungsoo’s pants and winning the bet. If it took some cheap, meaningless trinket to do so, who was he to complain?

His eyes paused from their browsing, taking in the items in front of him thoughtfully as he pursed his lips. Then he smiled.

Ah, perfect. _Exactly_ the type of gift he was looking for.  
  
  


  
  
  


He watched Kyungsoo’s face scrunch up in what looked like the beginnings of puzzlement, and in response Jongin’s lips twitched at the corners in amusement. It was three hours after he’d finished preparing the gift, the whole time with him wondering how Kyungsoo was going to react to it.  Now he finally had the chance to see how Kyungsoo would really take it. He was giddy with impatience; he honestly couldn’t wait. Judging from the expression making itself known on the idol’s face, it was going to be good. 

Kyungsoo seemed at a loss for words as he stared at the pillow, quizzical eyes shooting from the gift to Jongin’s face, and then back to the gift, and repeating. Jongin held in a snort of laughter, struggling to keep the calm, friendly expression on his own face. Kyungsoo just looked so... _confused_. The reaction was so much better in real life than in his imagination that Jongin decided to take pity on him.

“The pillow design is half a mustache,” he told Kyungsoo with a smile. Kyungsoo frowned at that, not understanding.

“Half?” Kyungsoo asked, still confused. Then he seemed to realize something. He looked up, staring at Jongin with those wide eyes of his as he asked, “But where’s the other half?” Jongin couldn’t keep the grin from replacing his smile. That was exactly the question he was waiting for.

“With me,” Jongin said with relish. He was thoroughly enjoying the befuddlement playing out on Kyungsoo’s face. “We have matching pillows now.”

Kyungsoo blinked, forehead scrunching up before he shrugged, accepting the gift cautiously despite his confusion. Then he gave Jongin a sweet, genuine smile and said, “You didn’t have to get me anything, but thank you. I’ll make sure to treasure it well.”

Jongin’s smile faltered at the sight of that smile before he reinforced it. Did Kyungsoo just _thank_ him? Jongin had been expecting it, of course, but still, to not see any hint of suspicion or distrust in that gaze...

To distract himself from weird path his thoughts had turned to, he dug into his pockets, grasping the piece of paper and pulling it out.

“Oh, and I also have this for you,” Jongin said conversationally, smoothing the small piece of paper out. Kyungsoo focused on it for a moment before looking back at Jongin, curious. Jongin took one of Kyungsoo’s hands into his own, gently smoothing out the curled fingers before placing the piece of paper down on Kyungsoo’s palm. His hand lingered there, soaking in the warmth of where Kyungsoo’s skin touched his own, before letting go of Kyungsoo’s hand.

“What is this?” Kyungsoo asked absentmindedly, fingers grasping the paper. He didn’t seem to realize or care about Jongin’s touchiness.

“The second part of my gift,” Jongin said, smiling innocently.

“One free date with Kim Jongin,” Kyungsoo read out loud and then blinked as if he thought his eyes were playing games with him. His eyebrows down-turned into an incredulous what-the-fuck-is-going-on frown; Jongin resisted the urge to flat-out grin, teeth and all, and quickly turned away. “Enjoy the gifts!” he called over his shoulder. He made a beeline straight to his room, and successfully closed the door before Kyungsoo could get another word out.

Within the safety of his own room, Jongin let out a chuckle as he walked over to his bed. He grinned madly to himself, flopping down onto the puffy sheets before he brought his arms over to rest behind his head. As he stared up at the ceiling, he couldn’t help but give himself a mental pat on the back. Planting the idea of Jongin just slightly interested in him into Kyungsoo’s head definitely went a lot better than expected.

Jongin estimated that it was only a matter of time until Kyungsoo made his own conclusions. All in all, he assumed that he’d be able to get Kyungsoo into his bed within a few days (three weeks at most), give or take.

Until then, Jongin thought, he’d savor every single minute of this slow seduction.

  
  


  
  


After he finished writing a small update on his progress with Kyungsoo into his journal, Jongin made his way around to Luhan’s room and barged in without knocking. He paused when Luhan squawked, the sound embarrassingly high-pitched, and blinked when he realized Luhan was jerking himself off to someone on the phone.

“Holy shit,” Luhan swore, diving for the blanket and pulling it up over his privates. Jongin snorted and leaned against the wall, unaffected by the acidic glare Luhan aimed at his head. Why was Luhan even bothering? It wasn’t like Jongin hadn’t seen another cock besides his own before. “Knock before coming in, will you?”

“Having a good conversation there, Luhan?” Jongin asked, quirking his lips up into a half-smile. “Who are you talking to? Baekhyun?” He watched pink rush up to Luhan’s cheeks and nodded to himself. “I don’t know why I even bothered to ask.”

“Shut up,” Luhan said grumpily, wiping his hand on the sheets. He reached for the phone, pointedly ignoring Jongin for the time being as he brought the phone up to his ear.

“Sorry about that,” Luhan said apologetically into the receiver. “Jongin just barged into my room. I’ll have to call you back later.” Without another word, he snapped the phone shut and pinned another withering stare onto Jongin and snapped, “What.” Amusingly enough, it wasn’t a question.

Jongin merely smiled, completely at ease, and said, “I need another... _favor_...of you.”  
  
  


  
  
  


Jongin had just arrived home to grab more of his belongings when Taemin barged into the room unannounced. His doors, as they always did when Taemin wanted to make an entrance into his room, swung open and hit his walls lightly, ratting the wall. Jongin held in a long-suffering sigh. Honestly.

“I’ve arranged you to tutor Krystal in dancing,” Taemin told Jongin unexpectedly.

Jongin scowled, glancing over his shoulder to glare at his step-brother, but voiced no protest. Taemin beamed at that, eyes cute moon crescents.

“You start tomorrow,” Taemin said, and walked out of the room with a bounce in his step. Jongin resisted the urge to throw something at the back of his tiny little head before grabbing his bag and stalking out of his house.

  
  


  
  


When he got back to Luhan’s house, Kyungsoo was making his way down the stairs, dressed up in a jacket, scarf and jeans. Jongin’s bad mood faded at the sight. Kyungsoo looked a lot like an overgrown child. It was endearing, to say the least. He smiled unconsciously as he dropped his bag onto the couch nearest to him.

“Hi!” Kyungsoo greeted him happily once he got off the stairs, a smile of his own gracing his lips.

“You going somewhere?” Jongin asked him curiously. He brought his hand up to fiddle with the scarf wrapped loosely around Kyungsoo’s neck, trailing his fingers through the soft, thick cloth before letting it slip from his loose grip. Red was a nice color on Kyungsoo, he noticed absently.

“I’m going to a club,” Kyungsoo informed him cheerily. Jongin blinked, caught off guard. Kyungsoo’s smile was innocent. “I rather like partying in the heat of the evening light, you know.”

Jongin eyed his smile for a moment before he exhaled in amusement. He’d almost gotten trolled. “I knew you were the party type the first time I saw you,” he agreed sagely, humoring Kyungsoo.

“I am a party machine,” Kyungsoo said seriously. He frowned in mock irritation. “Unfortunately, I can’t get smashed this time. I have to go practice some songs soon after I party.”

“What a pity,” Jongin said in mock compassion. He reached over to pat Kyungsoo comfortingly, his hand lingering.

“I know,” Kyungsoo said, seemingly disappointed. Jongin thought him a rather good actor to look that dejected while joking. His control over his facial expressions was impressive. Kyungsoo brightened up a second later, a mischievous glint in his eyes. “I have an idea!” he declared.

“Oh?” Jongin asked cautiously, instantly wary.

“Why don’t you come with me?” Kyungsoo suggested. He hooked his arm with Jongin’s almost right after and dragged Jongin off without hearing his reply. “Oh, it’ll be a lot of fun! I can’t wait!”

Jongin’s last warily amused thought before he was pulled outside was that he was glad he hadn’t taken off his jacket or shoes yet.

  
  


  
  


Kyungsoo’s idea of partying was obviously different than his own. 

He found himself walking side-by-side with Kyungsoo into a dark, spacious auditorium instead of a music pumping dance club. Kyungsoo disappeared from his side a second later. Jongin stared after him, slightly perplexed when Kyungsoo simply vanished into the darkness. For a heart-stopping moment, it almost felt like he’d been abandoned, left alone in a slithering, creeping darkness.

The stage lights buzzed to life a minute later, chasing the shadows away with a faint hum. The tightness in his chest loosened at the sight.

Jongin wandered down the main aisle, inhaling in the crisp air. The undisturbed air lent a character of mystery to the auditorium. It felt as if the place hadn’t been used by a whole body of people for a while, completely silent save for his own carpeted footsteps. The rows and rows of obscure seats loomed in front of him like a dark, peaceful sea. Now that Jongin could see a little, the entire place felt...right. There were no disturbances here. It was only him, the leading carpet, and the shining stage.

Kyungsoo appeared at the edge of the stage, one moment absent, the next there. He had taken off his jacket and scarf, revealing a cozy, too-big-for-you-to-wear-in-public-but-obviously-comfy-enough-to-not-care long-sleeved shirt. It fit him, suited his personality, for some reason. Jongin couldn’t believe someone, much less a guy, was able to pull off that shirt, but Kyungsoo did so with reasonable grace.

Kyungsoo walked into the lit part of the stage and paused, staring out at the audience. He seemed to be searching for something in the abandoned, unattended sea of seats, so Jongin raised his hand in the air and waved slightly. Then Kyungsoo’s eyes were on his, and Jongin was gifted with a smile sweet and warming. Jongin couldn’t help smiling back.

“So, you never told me why you kidnapped me and brought me to this place,” Jongin said into the ringing silence of the auditorium. His voice cut through the air, echoing in the large space. He tried not to wince. The acoustics in this abandoned place were surprisingly great.

“I’m using my coupon,” Kyungsoo told him primly, and waved the coupon in the air. “I rather like free things, after all, and it would be such a shame to let a coupon go to waste.”

Jongin blinked. He hadn’t been expecting that. While he had calculated the coupon being put to good use later, he hadn’t thought Kyungsoo would bring it up so soon, much less use it. It was a little off-putting and disconcerting realizing that the calculations in his head didn’t go as planned when it came to Kyungsoo.

“Cashing in already?” Jongin asked, his smile a little more than tight and more stiff than he would have liked.

“But of course,” Kyungsoo said, a weird smile of his own flashing over his face. Jongin wasn’t sure what to say to that, so instead he settled on sitting down, staring up silently but expectantly. Kyungsoo took the hint quickly enough.

Jongin watched as Kyungsoo closed his eyes, watched as his face suddenly smoothed out and became blank. The air seemed to falter around him, changing, almost _brightening_.

When he opened his eyes, he became an entirely new person. His eyes were distant and numb, the corners droopy and sad. Even his eyebrows were arranged differently, the arch more pronounced and a miserable little frown on his lips. It occurred to Jongin that he wasn’t looking at _just_ Kyungsoo anymore. He was looking at the _idol_ Kyungsoo now. It was safe to say that Jongin finally realized how Kyungsoo was famous in the first place; his stage presence was amazing.

Then Kyungsoo opened his lips.

The melody that poured from his mouth, pure and untainted and sad, stunned Jongin. He knew that Kyungsoo was a singer but he’d never thought... He never thought that Kyungsoo would be this _great_ of a singer. His voice actually had the heavy weight of sadness tied in within the notes, and they settled in Jongin’s chest like a colorless mist. The mist worked its way up his throat, settling at the base and making it hard for him to swallow, before it continued its way up to the backs of his eyes. It settled there, and became a gentle pressure. He blinked, wondering how the hell a simple song could affect him so much. He absently rubbed his arms, feeling his skin pimpled with goosebumps.

The song’s climax and end came and for a heart-stopping moment, Kyungsoo’s voice floated there, a beautiful high note that stopped as abruptly as it came. The room echoed, ringing in the sudden silence.

Jongin lifted his hands in a daze and clapped them together. The crack of his own palms startled him out of his daze and he stood up, his claps coming more vigorously. Kyungsoo lifted his lids, his eyes glittering in the spotlight, and that warming smile was back on his face. He gave a little exaggerated bow, winking at Jongin.

“Did you like the preview?” Kyungsoo asked him, grinning.

“I’m surprised,” Jongin admitted sheepishly. “I definitely wasn’t expecting that.”

He was honestly, _pleasantly_ surprised. He’d thought that Kyungsoo was just a decent singer - autotune had come a long way in the world, after all, and a lot of idols and singers these days used it to their advantages - but with that raw, unblemished voice... He could see why Kyungsoo had become so popular globally.

Honestly, he was still a little awed by the performance.

“Do you have any requests?” Kyungsoo asked, a hand going up to lightly massage at the base of his throat. “I’ll sing a few things to warm-up before I start practicing my own songs.”

“You...” Jongin paused, eyes sliding down to watch the way Kyungsoo’s fingers pressed delicately into his skin, before blinking. Kyungsoo didn’t seem to notice his wayward eyes, continuing on stretching out his body as if he were about to start exercising.

And it hit Jongin then that they were alone here.

It was prime time for him to begin seducing Kyungsoo now.

Jongin’s lips twitched into an indistinguishable smile and he slowly began to make his way to the stage. Each step he took was muffled by the carpet, but once he got to the wooden steps, the heels to his shoes clicked softly against the hardened floor.

“You’ll sing any song I pick?” Jongin questioned innocently enough. Kyungsoo was watching him curiously, no doubt wondering why Jongin was up on stage instead of down in the audience. There was no suspicion in those large eyes of his though, nothing that told Jongin Kyungsoo knew what he was doing.

“If I know it,” Kyungsoo said, confirming it with a fleeting smile. Jongin returned that smile with a sly grin of his own. He leaned down, cupping a hand around his mouth as if he were about to tell Kyungsoo a secret. Kyungsoo smelled good, a whiff of light in the dark auditorium. He brushed his lips against the edge of Kyungsoo’s ear, and something inside him fluttered giddily when he saw the slightest tremor run down Kyungsoo’s back.

Kyungsoo listened to him intently as he whispered his request and, when Jongin was done, threw his head back and let out a loud laugh. It was such a happy sound that Jongin found his grin growing wider, secretly pleased to have made Kyungsoo laugh like that.

“Let me get this straight,” Kyungsoo said, still chuckling. “You want me to sing _what_?”

“You heard me,” Jongin said, schooling his face into a serious expression. His heart, for some reason, was racing in his chest. He ignored it and sat down right there, on the stage, waiting patiently for Kyungsoo to start.

Kyungsoo stared down at him, seemingly flustered for the first time since they’d met. Jongin enjoyed the view, a wide smile pulling at his lips. Finally, after a minor stare down, Kyungsoo sighed in disbelief, an unwanted smile lighting his face.

Then he started singing.

Of course, Kyungsoo singing “Barbie Girl” was just about the most hilarious thing Jongin had seen in forever, so he cracked up before Kyungsoo could get to the chorus. What was more funny, however, was that Kyungsoo actually seemed to be enjoying himself, acting out a few scenes to Jongin with a playful twinkle in his eyes.

At some point during the song, Jongin found himself up and dancing with Kyungsoo, endless laughter pouring from somewhere deep in his chest. His cheeks hurt from smiling so much, and he couldn’t remember a time when he’d felt that way before. He’d never laughed until his lungs hurt, never smiled until the muscles in his face stopped working. It was exhilarating, experiencing everything for the first time.

Kyungsoo taught him a few dance moves to some of his own songs. Jongin quickly learned them, and the day burned away as they moved around on stage, happy, content, and shining under the spotlight.

“You know, I really envy you,” Jongin said, staring up at the ceiling from the floor. They were taking a breather before they headed home, bodies cooling after running around the auditorium like little children. The spotlight was brighter on the stage and, up close, the light shining down onto Kyungsoo really made him seem to glow when Jongin turned to look at him. Kyungsoo looked at him in confusion, his eyes wide as Jongin lifted his hand, trailing his knuckles gently against Kyungsoo’s soft cheek.

“You’re handsome, cute when you want to be, funny, and you were able to pursue your dream until it came true,” Jongin said, bullshitting it. Pointing out people’s good qualities worked every time if Jongin wanted to get into someone’s pants, and he doubted this time would be any different. He just had to wait until Kyungsoo fell for it.

Except, for one horrible second, he found that he actually meant what he said.

Kyungsoo stared at him, face still and serious. Jongin wondered what was going on in that head of his, wondered what could cause that happy, _happy_ face to be so grave. Kyungsoo turned away from him and Jongin felt a pang in his heart.

“I don’t know what you’re playing at,” Kyungsoo said, voice lined with disappointment. “But I’m not going to fall for it.”

Alarm (and maybe even hurt) speared through him for just a second before he calmed himself down.

“What are you talking about?” he asked, and congratulated himself for sounding confused.

“If you think people haven’t tried to sleep with me by complimenting me before, you’re wrong,” Kyungsoo said, pushing himself up to stand. He looked down at Jongin, face dark, shadowed and head outlined by the bright light. He was frowning, lips twitching downward, and Jongin thought the expression just looked so uncharacteristic of him, wrong and unnatural. Kyungsoo sighed, and forced a small, let-down smile slip onto his mouth. “I just thought you wouldn’t be one of them.”

Silence had never been louder than the moment Jongin watched Kyungsoo walk away. The auditorium door shut with a bang behind him.

  
  


  
  


Leaning back against the wall, Jongin watched Krystal dance to cutesy idol songs and resisted the urge to roll his eyes. He couldn’t believe he still got stuck with having to fuck this... this _nitwit_ of a girl. After getting to know her personality better, it was safe to say that she was not his type whatsoever (he generally didn’t discriminate against anyone pleasant enough to look at, but he figured there were always exceptions...and Krystal happened to be one of them). And yet, he was still cornered into doing it by Taemin. Shit, the things he did to please his step-brother.

“Too bad you can’t dance to anything sexy. That would be so much more impressive,” he told her loudly, examining the ceiling just to look away from her dancing. At this point, he would’ve rather watched anything besides her. Like a certain singer. But that was beside the point.

Besides, thinking about said singer was only bound to bring his mood down, and he couldn’t afford to look _too_ disgruntled.

“I can do sexy,” she protested, whirling around to glare at him. Her hair was in disarray, and her shirt was riding up to reveal her flat belly. Jongin took in her image with cool eyes, not affected in the least.

“Oh, really?” he asked, raising an eyebrow in challenge. Any girl could do “sexy” - at least, depending on the person judging. Jongin was a hard one to please, though. He’d seen enough sexy people doing sexy things that he’d become slightly immune to any novice attempts. And trust him, Krystal’s attempts were anything but good. Krystal huffed in irritation, laying her hands upon her cocked hips.

“Yes, really!” She scrunched her face up indignantly, and Jongin immediately doubted her words. Still, he was making... His mouth twitched into a frown of distaste at the thought. He was making progress. Unfortunately.

Honestly, he’d rather be working on Kyungsoo than spending all this useless time with this bimbo. He took a deep, calming breath. He’d stick with it though. Be patient, he reminded himself.

“Show me,” he challenged, then winced inwardly at his icy tone. Thankfully, Krystal didn’t seem to notice his irritation.

“Fine!” she said angrily. “Give me a beat and I’ll show you I can be sexy.”

Jongin turned around, allowing an eye roll to slip past his features (‘Give me a beat,’ he mocked in his head childishly, irritated) as he went over to the music controls. He picked up the MP3 player set up to the sound system and scrolled through the library. He scowled when he found no good songs, heaving a mental sigh as he walked over to his bag to retrieve his own music player.

Scrolling through his music idly, he smirked when a specific song came into view. This one would do just fine, he thought to himself.

  
  


  
  


Krystal was okay at being sexy. She wasn’t all that bad, nor was she all that good. She was just...normal. Jongin suffered through her performance with displeased eyes, and against his better judgement, continued to move forward when she wasn’t looking. She didn’t seem to notice, too caught up in how “sexy” she looked in the mirror. 

When the song ended, she finally caught sight of him. She didn’t realize anything out of the ordinary, smirking at him in victory from her “sexy dance.”

Jongin faked an impressed clap.

“That _was_ pretty sexy, I have to admit,” he said, trailing his fingers against the visible part of her neck. Goosebumps broke out underneath his touch, and he caught the small tremor that ran through her figure. He wanted to sigh. It was all just too easy. He could already tell that she would give into anything he asked her to do. She wouldn’t fight against him, she wouldn’t verbally lash out at him, nor would she question his motives.

She was _nothing_ like Kyungsoo.

For some reason, the thought alone almost made him want to hightail it out of there.

“But you know what would be sexier?” he asked her, lips touching her ear as his fingers went around to skim slowly down her collarbone, down the valley between her breasts. She stilled at his touch, eyes wide with surprise...and desire. He pressed his body to hers fully. She inhaled sharply.

“What?” she whispered, eyes meeting his through the mirror. His image in the mirror smiled slowly, his smirk a mere lift of one side of his lips.

“If you take off all your clothes, and dance with me,” he said. Jongin turned her head slowly, and calmly, deliberately dipped his face down.

And when their lips met, he couldn’t help but think that it was all just as easy as pie.

  
  


  
  


When he got back from his little “tutoring session” with Krystal, he found Luhan waiting boredly in his room with an update about the favor Jongin asked for. Luhan was scowling down at the wooden floor, and Jongin figured it was a good thing that people couldn’t burn holes into things they were glaring at, because that scowl transferred over to him right when he walked in.

“I did your little _favor_ , just as you had asked,” Luhan spat.

Jongin paused at that, considering, before smiling and hanging up his jacket.

“Oh?” he asked conversationally, unbuttoning his shirt. “And how did it go? I’m guessing you had a lovely time.”

“Fuck you,” Luhan hissed, walking up to Jongin in an angry gait. “I don’t know why you asked me lie to Kyungsoo about you and tell him that you were actually a good person at heart when we both know you aren’t, but if I find out that you hurt him because he started trusting you based off of what I said...”

“Cool it, princess,” Jongin said cheerfully, not at all intimidated. He did live with Taemin for years, after all, and Taemin at his worst was far scarier than Luhan now. “It’s not in my intentions to hurt Kyungsoo.”

And Jongin wasn’t lying. He _didn’t_ want to hurt Kyungsoo (that much) but, well... it was rather unfortunate because he was sure Kyungsoo would get hurt either way. There was no way around that.

Jongin surmised it all to the famous saying.

All’s fair in sex and war.

  
  


  
  


Jongin knocked on Kyungsoo’s door, waiting until he heard a muffled, “Come in!” before walking into the room, for once hesitant on how something would go. He told himself that he was only worried because he didn’t want to screw up the bet he made with Taemin, but a small part of him didn’t believe that. There was doubt in his heart, something he’d never experienced before in his teenage career.

Kyungsoo was on his bed, dressed in blue pajamas and hair drying from his shower. A few beads of water dripped from the tips of his hair onto his shirt, but Kyungsoo didn’t seem bothered by it as he studied the papers laid out in front of him. Jongin was curious to see what those papers were, but he didn’t know if he was welcome, so he just stood at the edge of the room, feeling awkward when Kyungsoo didn’t acknowledge him.

Finally, Kyungsoo glanced up, curious. “Did you want to talk about something?” he asked. Jongin resisted the urge to glance down, instead staring at Kyungsoo straight on.

“I came to apologize,” he said, shrugging uncomfortably. He hadn’t given out an apology in such a long time that the words felt weird on his tongue. “You were right, I guess. I _do_ want to sleep with you,” he admitted, and hoped that he was taking the right action to get him back on track with Kyungsoo again. “But I wasn’t lying about what I said earlier. I meant every word.”

Kyungsoo scrutinized him, carefully observing him as he talked. His face held no indication of what he was thinking, and Jongin shifted from one foot to the other in an attempt to not do anything further. In the end, Kyungsoo sighed and smiled at Jongin.

“I know,” Kyungsoo said, and his smile widened at Jongin’s stupefied expression until his eyes became half-crescent moons. And this, Jongin thought to himself, something clicking into place in his chest, this was how Kyungsoo was supposed to look - happy, and smiling. “I was reassured today that you were... well, at least half-decent, despite how strong you come on.”

Jongin was betting that Kyungsoo was referring to the talk Luhan must’ve given him. He made a note of that (he’d have to thank Luhan again the next time he saw him), and was once again reminded about how much words impacted people. Jongin blinked when he fully understood what Kyungsoo had said.

“Half-decent?” he questioned out loud, a little miffed. He walked closer to Kyungsoo. “I am a great person, I’ll have you know.” In reply to that, Kyungsoo rolled his eyes, a teasing smile on his lips. Jongin scrunched his face up before waving a hand to the papers on Kyungsoo’s bed.

“So?” he asked, raising an eyebrow. “What is all of this?” Jongin looked down and saw little music notes littering the staff-lined papers.

“I’m writing a new song,” Kyungsoo said, looking excited. Jongin felt a gentle smile lift his lips as he watched Kyungsoo babble about the song he was writing, watched as Kyungsoo’s hands flailed animatedly. Kyungsoo’s eyes widened when he talked enthusiastically, Jongin noted, biting on the inside of his cheek silently. “- and I think the company will really \like it,” Kyungsoo finished, nodding his head proudly.

“That’s great!” Jongin said.

He startled to find that he meant it.  
  
  


  
  


Jongin tapped the end of the pen against the paper as he stared blankly at the half-filled page. He was trying to write in a few more notes into his journal about the progress with Kyungsoo, but found that he didn’t have any words to describe it. He scratched his neck absently, frowning down at his hand. For the first time in a long time, he was reluctant on writing something down. 

In the end, he gave up after only a few words, instead closing the journal softly with a sigh.

Maybe he was just tired and couldn’t think straight, he assumed as he walked over to the bed. It’d been a long and exhausting day for him. He’d been out with Kyungsoo, had to go give Krystal a few “instructions” on how to dance, and all the while had to think about how to set his relationship with Kyungsoo back on track. If he got a little sleep, he’d be able to write a proper entry into his journal the next morning. He nodded to himself, satisfied. That sounded like the best thing to do at the moment.

Feeling a tiny bit better, Jongin shut the light off and got into bed. His eyes slid shut, and he was asleep almost instantly.

That night, he dreamed about smiles and laughter.

  
  


  
  


“So?” Taemin asked, a slow smile crossing his face as he trailed agonizing fingers down the front edges of Jongin’s crisp suit. He fingered the black leather belt holding up Jongin’s pants, teasingly, his eyes dark and steady on Jongin’s face. His eyes took in everything, waiting, waiting for a sign of weakness to exploit. Jongin fought not to show anything besides placidity as he raised an inquiring brow.

“So, what?” he asked innocently, trying to ignore Taemin’s fingers as they dipped lower and lower. He locked his jaw in an effort to keep his eyes from crossing when Taemin’s small hand teased his cock through his pants. Tingles of pleasure shot up his spine, raising goosebumps as it went. He tried not to pay it any attention; God forbid Taemin get any sadistic pleasure out of seeing how much he drove Jongin out of control. There was no way in hell that Jongin was going to fall under his step-brother’s evil taunting.

“How did your little lesson with Krystal go yesterday?” Taemin asked, smile becoming sly as he ran light touches across the front of Jongin’s jeans almost absently. Jongin had to close his eyes for a second to catch his breath and reinforce his strict control over his hormones.

“It went well,” he said with a shrug, with a nonchalance he didn’t feel at all.

Taemin was always like this, though not always this bold. He liked to play with Jongin, test the buttons he had on Jongin like they were keys on the piano. Sometimes he liked to play multiple keys at once, watching with a certain gleeful cruelty as Jongin shifted himself into dissonance. Sometimes he liked to press just one key at a time, drawing a vicious amusement out of seeing Jongin stumble into his own flats. It meant the same either way, and Jongin, in a moment of rare clarity, knew that he couldn’t let Taemin win this time.

Displeased at the ambiguous answer, Taemin scrunched his face into a frown and gripped Jongin through his pants, thumbing the head of his cock challengingly.

“Want to revise that statement?” Taemin asked sweetly, smugly, when Jongin’s eyes fluttered at the feeling. Jongin snapped his eyes open, trying to swallow his suddenly dry mouth, huffing out a breath before closing his eyes again.

When was the last time he’d had sex?

Far too long for it to be this easy for Taemin to manipulate him, he thought angrily.

Taemin stopped teasing him long enough for Jongin to get out a rough, “I kissed her.” Immediately, Taemin let him go, leaving him rock hard and throbbing but oddly relieved. When Jongin was able to get his eyes working properly again, he saw Taemin giving him an unimpressed stare.

“You kissed her? That’s it?” Taemin asked, irritated at this prospect. Jongin rolled his eyes, adjusting himself before replying.

“What do you want me to do, Taemin?” he asked, annoyed. “Completely destroy her?” The droll look he received in response made him, for some reason, angry. He took a deep, steadying breath to calm himself down, but found the ire still there, boiling underneath the surface just waiting for a chance to get out. He snapped, “I am not going to destroy one girl’s life just so you can get your petty revenge on Minho!”

This was, obviously, the wrong thing to say to Taemin.

“Oh, really?” Taemin asked, his face wiped of all emotion besides polite interest. Jongin knew that look. Taemin liked to hide behind this look a lot, used it to build up his fanbase back at the high school, used it to get the position of Student Council Vice-President and the position of the main guy in the school’s musical. This look hid things and thoughts that even Jongin didn’t know, and for some reason, that scared him like it hadn’t before. What, exactly, was Taemin thinking in that pretty little head of his now?

“Yes, really,” he said, but there was hesitance in his voice now, destroying the strong image he’d managed to work up for himself.

“It’s funny that you of all people would be saying that,” Taemin mused out loud, no bite in his words. It hit Jongin harder like that. “I mean, you destroy people’s lives on a daily basis just so you could continue satisfying yourself, but you won’t destroy someone’s life for anyone else, even when that someone else is me.”

Jongin kept his lips sealed together, unable to say anything to that. It was all true, anyway.

“You know,” Taemin said, a note of nostalgia in his voice. Jongin didn’t believe it at all. “You told me you loved me just a few years ago. You said that you’d do anything for me. I guess your love is easily swayable. Who’s your new love interest, Jongin? That dumb, pretty idol of yours?” By the end of his little speech, Taemin was sneering at Jongin.

Jongin just glared at Taemin, trying his best to disregard the spike of red-hot fury.

Taemin sighed, casting a sad, disappointed glance at Jongin. He shrugged when Jongin didn’t reply and said, “Okay, I guess I’ll just go find someone else to help me. Either it’s you who helps me destroy Krystal, or it’s someone else. I’ll get what I want, and I don’t care who I have to use to do so.” He began to walk away.

Before he could even process what he was doing, his hand shot out to grab Taemin’s arm. Taemin looked back at him, expression cleaned clear off his face, waiting. Always waiting. Jongin pressed his lips together, fighting with himself, before slowly giving up.

“I’ll help you,” he said defeatedly. He felt his shoulders slump.

Taemin smiled at that, a sweet, angelic smile, and he shook off Jongin’s hand only to grab it in his own.

“Thank you, my dear step-brother,” Taemin said, and then unraveled his entire plan to Jongin.

Jongin listened intently as Taemin revealed everything, resisting the urge to wince. He couldn’t help thinking he’d just sold his soul to the devil. His soul, and Krystal’s as well.

  
  


  
  


Kyungsoo asked him out to a concert on an icy Friday night. 

Jongin blinked, not sure if he’d heard correctly. He’d been eating his noodles (made by a particularly talented idol) idly, not paying attention at all to what Luhan and Kyungsoo had been talking about at the table. He regretted his lapse in concentration when he realized that two sets of eyes were staring at him expectantly, and smiled sheepishly.

“Sorry,” he apologized. “Could you repeat that again?” Kyungsoo and Luhan shared an indecipherable look that almost had him squirming in his seat before turning back to him.

“I asked if you wanted to go to a concert with me on Friday,” Kyungsoo said, giving a tiny smile to Jongin that instantly made something in him feel better about himself. He got the weirdest urge to grin widely but resisted it. He did, however, let the warmth from Kyungsoo’s smile slowly trickle into some of the deepest, darkest parts of himself. He let it soothe the turmoil in him, and instantly felt better. Kyungsoo continued, “Since I have three tickets, I asked Luhan too but he can’t go because he has some business to take care of.”

Jongin eyed Luhan. “Business,” huh? He was just taking a guess, but this so-called business Luhan had to take care of probably had the initials B.B.

Luhan avoided his scrutiny, instead choosing to begin eating his own portion of noodles again. Jongin stared at him a bit more before switching his gaze to Kyungsoo, letting a smile onto his lips.

“Sure,” he said, winking. “Can I consider this our second date?”

“You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” Luhan muttered, irritatedly stabbing at his plate with his chopsticks. Obviously he wasn’t happy with leaving Kyungsoo alone with Jongin any more than he had to.

“If that makes you feel better,” Kyungsoo said, ignoring Luhan as he raised an amused brow at Jongin.

“It does,” Jongin said, and for the first time that day, smiled sincerely.

  
  


  
  


“Luhan’s parents?” Baekhyun asked, sounding surprised through the crackle of the phone connection. Jongin grunted a small ‘mm’ as he stared up at the ceiling absently. There were no markings on the ceiling to show how old the house was, no tiny black spots or weird stains. He let his eyes roam from the ceiling to the edges, and eventually to the walls. Nothing. Everything appeared flawless. 

Were these rooms cleaned out daily, even though no one stayed in them? Jongin wondered to himself.

“Luhan’s parents are overseas managing their business,” Baekhyun told him, and something about his tone made Jongin uncomfortable. “His situation is a lot like yours, actually. His parents hate each other and can’t stand being in the same house, much less the same country.”

Jongin couldn’t find a reply to that. Baekhyun laughed at his surprised silence through the phone line sardonically. “What, did you think you were the only one who had parents like that?”

“No,” Jongin protested automatically, but his protest was weak when it passed through his lips. Baekhyun’s silence was thoughtful, and it rang with things that went unspoken. Finally, Baekhyun sighed.

“Let me tell you something, Kim Jongin,” Baekhyun said at last. “I’m your friend, and because I’m your friend, I have specific duties. For one, I need to enlighten you about certain things that need to be pointed out.”

“And what is that, Oh Great One?” Jongin asked, sarcastic, feeling strangely defensive.

“You are not the only one with shitty parents,” Baekhyun said seriously. “And it’s about time you and Taemin realize that.”

  
  


  
  


Jongin brought a video recorder the next time he had a “dance tutorial” with Krystal. He told her that he wanted to record their little session to make sure he was teaching her correctly, and that in the end, it would only help her out. She accepted this explanation with little resistance, and actually seemed to enjoy the fact that she was being filmed. She pranced around, purposefully sending glances to the camera every once in a while as she danced.

He couldn’t even find the urge to roll his eyes; he was still regretful about what he was about to do to her.

He walked over to her, stopping her movements with a simple touch to her hips. She stilled, looking at him with heat in her eyes. Jongin closed his eyes, leant down to kiss her, and said a silent apology. 

Getting her hot and flustered and forgetful was easy enough to do. She was pliant under his lips and his seeking hands, weak with lust and desire.

He slowly stripped her of her clothes, one article at a time, under the watchful red light of the recorder. And as she surrendered herself to him, he had to swallow and glance away from the watchful camera lens sitting inconspicuous and innocent in the corner of the room.

He submerged himself in the heat of the moment, and tried his best to forget everything.

  
  


  
  


Jongin arrived back at Luhan’s house at midnight, moving through the house dejectedly, dragging himself up the stairs to his bedroom. All the lights were out; everyone had already long gone to sleep. He paused, staring at Kyungsoo’s door longingly, before turning his head and walking into his room. 

He shucked off his clothes slowly and showered under a nearly boiling spray of water, scrubbing at his naked skin hard. He could still feel Krystal against him, could still feel the guilt coating him like a second skin. He scrubbed, and scratched, and scrubbed some more, and then he gave up, getting out of the shower and toweling himself dry.

He flopped onto his bed warily, only in boxers, and stared up at the darkened ceiling. He’d have to add Krystal into his journal, he thought numbly. And he’d have to add in Taemin’s whole plan over how to get revenge on Krystal for stealing his dear Minho away.

How Taemin wanted to send the recording of Jongin fucking her to everyone in school.

Jongin himself would be cut from the video as much as possible, Taemin had assured him. After all, it wasn’t him that Taemin wanted to humiliate. It was Krystal.

Taemin had figured the best way to do that would be to show just how much of a slut she was.

Jongin hadn’t wanted anything to do with it. Taemin was mean and cruel most of the time, but this was crossing over the line. Jongin slanted a glance over at the camera bag he’d dropped near the door, where the recording laid, ready to destroy Krystal’s reputation before she even had the chance to build it up.

He turned away from it, and instead grabbed onto his half of the mustache couple pillows. Jongin buried his nose in it, and shut his eyes.

  
  


  
  


Jongin stopped by his apartment the day before the concert to give Taemin his damnable recording. He didn’t want to hang onto it anymore, have it in his possession any longer because, no matter how much he tried to rid it from his mind, something about this whole ploy felt wrong to him. It felt like something would go terribly, terribly wrong if he gave this tape over to Taemin. There was a part of him that was sorely tempted to destroy the recording, too - to ignore Taemin and let him find some other sucker to play Jongin’s part because he honestly wanted nothing to do with this. 

He stood outside the building for a long time, just staring up at the window he knew belonged to Taemin’s room, trying to decide on what to do.

He was at a loss though; he’d never had these kinds of thoughts before. Taemin had been right earlier, of course. Jongin was definitely a bad person - he’d slept with people before just for their looks or how they’d affect his reputation, and he’d even slept with people before just to see them crumble afterwards. He’d done a lot of bad things and, he couldn’t lie, he was even _proud_ of some of them.

The notion that he was second guessing doing just another bad thing was hard for him to grasp, and it was that confusion that led him straight into the building.

He’d worry about the repercussions later.

  
  


  
  


“Whose concert are we going to, anyway?” Jongin asked Kyungsoo as they drove down the highway toward the concert venue. The street lights were already on as nightfall slowly descended upon the city. The night was young, though, and people were abundant on the streets as they hurried home from work or dinner. 

It’d slipped from his mind to ask Kyungsoo about the concert, what with all the things he’d had to worry about recently. He figured it shouldn’t matter too much. No matter what, he was determined to enjoy tonight. It would do him good to just get out and have some fun, and let his worries fade away like the sun.

Kyungsoo’s silence spoke volumes though.

Jongin glanced over when Kyungsoo didn’t answer him, about to repeat his question when he was stopped by the sheepish expression on Kyungsoo’s face.

As if he could feel Jongin’s eyes on him, Kyungsoo glanced at him. He spared an embarrassed smile.

“We’re going to Ryeowook’s solo concert,” Kyungsoo said, a little bashfully. Jongin searched his head for the name Ryeowook, and it took him a bit to remember that Ryeowook was an idol who was part of a bigger group called Super Junior. Kyungsoo continued, “We work for the same company. We’re really good friends, so he sent me some tickets.”

Jongin blinked and shrugged after some consideration. “Okay,” he said easily.

Kyungsoo seemed a bit stunned at his acceptance.

“You’re fine with that?” Kyungsoo asked, voice confused. Jongin glanced over to find Kyungsoo staring at him, wide-eyed. He frowned.

“Why wouldn’t I be fine with that?” Now it was his turn to be bewildered.

Kyungsoo looked away, breaking eye contact as his fingers drummed silently against his knee. He didn’t say anything at first, just studied Jongin out of the corner of his eyes. He was observing Jongin quietly, as if he’d never seen anyone like him before. Jongin tried to guess at what Kyungsoo was thinking, but in the end gave up. He knew better than to try.

He looked forward, letting Kyungsoo come to his own conclusions.

“You just don’t seem like the type who would even enjoy listening to this...genre...of music,” Kyungsoo said finally. There was hesitation in his tone, a quizzical lilt. Jongin wondered if he should be offended but decided against it with a wry grin.

“And what kind of music do I look like I’d enjoy listening to?” Jongin questioned, and grinned at his car’s dashboard when he heard Kyungsoo begin to ramble. He listened a bit, humoring Kyungsoo with the artists he thought Jongin would listen to, before interrupting, “So pretty much what you’re saying is that you expected my taste in music to be horrible.”

“No!” Kyungsoo protested immediately, and then shrunk in his seat. He sighed. “Okay, yes, but that’s not what my point-”

Jongin snorted at that, looking at Kyungsoo with fond disappointment. “You seem to have a lot of misconceptions about me. This makes me sad.” He pouted, grinning when Kyungsoo let out a chuckle. Jongin turned the car into the parking area of the concert venue, searching quickly for an empty spot up close to the concert entrance. The street lights slowly blinked to life, casting partial shadows through the rows of cars.

“I hate parking,” Jongin muttered, and flinched when Kyungsoo tapped him to get his attention. Kyungsoo was pointing to the front of the parking area excitedly.

“There’s a good spot still open over there!” he said, words rushing out his mouth. Jongin didn’t think twice, and stepped on the gas quickly to try and get to the parking Kyungsoo had seen before a different car did. Even now, more cars were steadily pouring in, and if they lost this spot, there would be a chance they’d end up having to park even further away.

His laziness refused to let that happen.

He rounded the corner and glimpsed at another car coming from the other side, and he frantically searched for the empty spot as Kyungsoo continued to point at seemingly nothing.

Then he saw it.

 _I am going to get that spot_ , Jongin thought, almost dramatically, completely unaware he’d said that out loud. He glared at the car opposite of him, watching the way the driver spotted the empty space as well. No way in hell was he letting someone else take _his_ parking.

“Get it, get it,” Kyungsoo cheered him on, looking far more amused than he should be for some odd reason. Jongin didn’t spare him a glance as he sped the car up.

He slid into the empty parking just seconds before the other car could, pumping his fists in the air victoriously. He resisted the urge to turn around and watch the other car leave, and noticed then that Kyungsoo was laughing.

He wrinkled his nose and snapped out a, “What?”

This seemed to set Kyungsoo off again, and Kyungsoo frantically shook his head as he tried to muffle his laughter with a hand. Jongin’s lips twitched at the sound of the infectious laughter, and before he knew it, he was grinning as well. He quickly righted his grin into a frown.

“Sorry,” Kyungsoo gasped when he was finally calm enough to talk. He wiped a few tears from his face and smiled brilliantly at Jongin. “It seems you were right. I _do_ have some really horrible misconceptions of you.”

And for some reason, that made Jongin smile all over again.

  
  


  
  


Jongin ended up having a good time at the concert. They had great seats, and Ryeowook (much to Jongin’s surprise) was a great live singer. 

Every once in a while, Jongin would glimpse at some cameras being pointed at Kyungsoo, but the idol seemed to think nothing of it. He must’ve been used to it already, Jongin thought. He wondered what felt like, to have people taking pictures of you everywhere you went. Must be tiring.

His thoughts were interrupted when Kyungsoo began to sing along softly to one of the ballads. His voice was soft, a mere undertone covered by Ryeowook’s voice through the audio system, but if Jongin leaned in just close enough, the words from Kyungsoo’s mouth became clearer, his voice more haunting and memorable. He closed his eyes, a slight smile on his face as he listened to Kyungsoo sing.

Jongin loved Kyungsoo’s voice.

  
  


  
  


A man walked up to Kyungsoo half-way through the concert, dressed in all black with a communicator attacked to his ear. Kyungsoo seemed to know him, a spark of recognition in his face. He nodded to the man in acknowledgement, and his nod was returned with a bow.

Jongin couldn’t properly identify Mister Mysterious with all the bright, colorful lights flashing in through the darkness. Ryeowook was up on stage, performing one of his faster-paced songs, the stage dimly lit and the spotlight solely on the performer. Nevertheless, Jongin squinted at the man suspiciously when he went up to talk to Kyungsoo, whispering urgently in his ear. 

Kyungsoo listened, puzzled at first, but understanding the next. He nodded at the man and turned to Jongin and leaned it, close enough for Jongin to smell the subtle cologne he was wearing.

“I’ll be right back,” Kyungsoo said, and left before Jongin could even voice a small protest.

Jongin stared after his retreating back.

It was another twenty minutes before Jongin saw Kyungsoo again. Jongin was sulking in his seat, no longer watching the concert. He realized quickly after Kyungsoo had left that the only reason he’d been having so much fun before was because Kyungsoo was there to point out parts of the dances, to tell him the hidden meaning about the songs, and to enthusiastically gush over a really good stage. Without Kyungsoo by him, Jongin felt like his eyes had been taken away.

He could no longer see anything good, and instead ignored everything happening around him with indifference.

Ryeowook was cooling down on stage, interacting with fans through his hand mic when he made the announcement.

“A friend has come to watch my concert,” he said, smiling. Jongin sat up, wondering if Ryeowook was talking about Kyungsoo. “And he’s graciously agreed to do a quick duet with me before the final song.” Ryeowook paused there, listening to the crowd whisper as they wondered excitedly about the special stage.

“Please help me welcome Do Kyungsoo,” Ryeowook said, a tad bit too extravagantly for Jongin’s taste, but then the crowd began to roar in approval, and all Jongin could see was Kyungsoo walking out from behind the set and onto the stage.

He was wearing a soft colored shirt that accentuated his pale skin, and dark skinny jeans that made his legs look longer than they actually were. After a bit of staring on his part, Jongin realized with a shock that Kyungsoo was also wearing make-up.

Huh, he thought, blinking. He knew idols wore make-up, but it was still surprising.

Kyungsoo walked into the lit part of the stage and paused, staring out at the audience. He seemed to be searching for something in the full, packed sea of seats, so Jongin raised his hand in the air and waved slightly. Then Kyungsoo’s eyes were on his, and Jongin was gifted with a smile sweet and warming.

Jongin couldn’t help smiling back.

Kyungsoo introduced himself politely, bowing deeply and smiling for the fans that cheered at his entrance. Ryeowook went over, draping himself onto Kyungsoo with a friendly grin that made some fangirls to Jongin’s far right scream and flail happily. He eyed them in distaste, scrunching up his face.

He didn’t know why they were screaming for Kyungsoo and Ryeowook, he thought meanly, glancing away with a huff. He was far cuter with Kyungsoo than Ryeowook could ever be.

No, he was not pouting.

Ryeowook and Kyungsoo made some small talk on stage before Ryeowook eventually walked away from Kyungsoo to introduce the song they’d be singing. He bowed, then the lights dimmed and a faint melody drifted from seemingly nowhere.

Ryeowook’s voice weaved into the music, slow and steady, before Kyungsoo’s voice melted into the pool of sound.

Jongin couldn’t take his eyes off of the stage.

If he’d learned anything at all from being with Kyungsoo lately, it was that Kyungsoo sang with all of his heart. He gave little pieces of himself out in each note, infused himself so much within the song he was singing until he wasn’t Kyungsoo anymore, but a person telling a story they’ve experienced firsthand.

Jongin had seen it in action before, when he went with Kyungsoo that day to watch him practice, but seeing an actual performance, seeing Kyungsoo giving his everything to sing just this one song, raised the hairs on his arms. A shiver passed through him, and another when Kyungsoo crooned out a raspy, “I loved you.”

Kyungsoo was amazing.

And Jongin had to wonder why he didn’t see that in the first place.

  
  


  
  


As per Mister Mysterious’ orders, Jongin drove his car to the back of the building and went inside through the dingy, metal door that was set partially open for him. He made sure to completely shut it after he got inside; he knew that if he left it open, the fangirls would swarm around it like fruit flies to a ripe banana. 

He walked down the plain white corridor, following the sounds of chatter and loud laughter as it echoed down the hallways. He could barely hear the sound of his own footsteps against the dirty white tiles as he neared the noise, and sped up his steps, knowing that he was close. Excitement bubbled in the pit of his stomach; he couldn’t wait to see Kyungsoo again, to congratulate Kyungsoo on a job well done.

Rounding the corner, he paused.

Standing outside the door to what Jongin assumed was Ryeowook’s room was Kyungsoo, staring blankly at the bare wall across from him. He wondered what was wrong, for Kyungsoo to have such a contemplating expression on his face. Jongin had expected to see Kyungsoo in the room with Ryeowook and the staff as they celebrated on finishing the concert successfully, not standing outside in a lonely silence.

Jongin slowly walked forward, his heart racing in his chest. He felt nervous for some reason, nervous and excited. He had to resist the temptation to walk over to Kyungsoo faster; his pride wouldn’t allow him to ruin his already battered cool and dignified image.

Kyungsoo caught sight of him after a few steps, looking up to see who was coming around the corner, staring quietly as Jongin continued to approach him.

What did he look like in Kyungsoo’s eyes? he asked himself silently as he stared back. Did he look as stiff and awkward as he felt, or did Kyungsoo see something entirely different? Did he look calm and relaxed? Did he look worried? Did he look rich, or poor, or nice, or mean? There was something inside him itching to know these things, and Jongin felt at a loss when he found that he couldn’t stop the thoughts from running amok inside his head.

He stopped two steps away from Kyungsoo, unable to look away. Despite the loud talking going on just behind the closed door a few meters away, the hallway silent, still. Kyungsoo looked up at him, and something about his gaze made Jongin’s mouth dry. He swallowed, and didn’t miss the glance Kyungsoo did to look at his Adam’s apple as it bobbed with the motion.

“Congrats,” he finally said as his cheeks lifted into a hesitant smile.

“What for?” Kyungsoo asked curiously, his own eyes crinkling.

“You were amazing back there,” Jongin said, gesturing a hand toward where he thought the stage would be. “How come you didn’t tell me you’d be performing?”

Kyungsoo shrugged, looking embarrassed as he shoved his hands into his jean pockets. He confessed, “I didn’t know I’d be performing.”

Jongin blinked.

“You didn’t know you’d be singing today?” he asked, a little surprised. It had sounded like Kyungsoo had been completely prepared to sing the duet.

“No.” Kyungsoo shook his head, ruffling up his hair. “I haven’t been practicing that song, and it could have been a disaster. I’m glad nothing went wrong today.”

Wow, Jongin thought, eyes wide with awe. Just when he thought he’d finally grasped the true extent of Kyungsoo’s talent, Kyungsoo had to go and surprise him even more.

“You’re amazing,” Jongin breathed out, and on an impulse reached up and skimmed his fingers along the side of Kyungsoo’s face. He realized what he was doing a second later when Kyungsoo’s surprised eyes glanced down at his hand.

Jongin snatched his hand back quickly, and his cheeks felt hot as he looked away. He didn’t know what was going on with him, and that bothered him. He was used to touching people to get what he wanted, did all his actions consciously and with a clear mind. Only with Kyungsoo did he not seem to realize what he was doing, and that troubled him.

Kyungsoo bent down slowly, and Jongin turned his head back around when he felt fingers gently fitting into the spaces between his own. Dazed, he watched as Kyungsoo lifted their hands together to press the back of Jongin’s hand against his cheek. Jongin searched Kyungsoo’s face for a reason, but found a light blush instead. Something melted inside of him then, and he couldn’t help but smile when he felt it.

Kyungsoo lifted his eyes to lock gazes with Jongin, and something heavy and indescribable passed between them.

Then Kyungsoo smiled a smile that Jongin had never seen before, full of happiness and sincerity, and said softly, “Thank you.”

They left the building soon afterwards, their hands still clasped tightly together.

  
  


  
  


A few days later, Jongin found himself surfing the web for information on Kyungsoo when he happened upon some rather interesting information.

Kyungsoo’s birthday, from what Jongin got off the internet, was right before his own. He eyed the computer screen in front of him contemplatively, mind already miles away as he sought to think of a suitable gift for Kyungsoo. His fingers brushed against the wood of the desk idly, back and forth and back again, before he made a face and went back to using the computer, this time searching, “birthday gifts.”

He went through what felt like a million different ideas before he paused on one, considering. He narrowed his eyes at it, scrutinizing it, and then smiled giddily. He pushed himself up from the chair, quickly brought the lid to the laptop down, and hopped out of the house happily.

He had a little inkling of what to get Kyungsoo for his birthday.

  
  


  
  


After buying his present for Kyungsoo, Jongin spent the rest of the day searching for a few extra things he wanted to give with the present as well. He awkwardly found himself in a crafts store, surrounded by an assortment of colorful items. However, as he was walking down the aisles, another idea came to him and he grinned. He ended up buying some colorful paper to write on, bought a nice permanent marker to write with, and sat down at the park close by to write things down onto the pieces of paper. Jongin made sure to scribble a few little drawings and decorations onto each paper as well. 

A few hours passed until he finally finished.

He picked up the stack of papers victoriously, carefully shoving them back into the bag. He checked to make sure that they wouldn’t wrinkle too badly before he got up from the bench. Wincing when his spine and tailbone gave a sound protest, he stretched a little to relieve the pain before walking back to his car.

The sunset accompanied him. He swung the bags from his arms happily, a smile on his face as he watched the kids continue to play soccer in the ruined snow despite the dimming light.

He reached his car and got in, checking his text messages idly. He noted with surprise that five were from Kyungsoo and one from Luhan. A spike of worry hit him. Had something happened while he was gone?

Jongin checked them, skimming through the messages sent to him quickly before relaxing with a relieved sigh. They’d just been concerned about where he went.

 _sorry i didn’t tell you i’d be going out. i didn’t mean to worry you_ , he typed out in a new text to Kyungsoo. _i’m coming home now though, so i’ll see you in a few minutes!_

He sent the message, smiled, and pulled his sunglasses on. A giddy feeling bubbled up in his stomach.

He was going home.

  
  


  
  


Taemin called him as he pulled up into the driveway to Luhan’s house. He pushed his sunglasses lower and tilted his face down, eyeing his phone from over the top edge of his glasses warily. His fingers twitched to grab his cell phone, used to picking up all of Taemin’s calls, but he stopped before he could take his hands off of the steering wheel as he caught sight of something. 

Kyungsoo’s reply to his text message was scrolling across the notification bar.

_Don’t worry about it. Come back soon! :)_

Jongin glanced from his ringing phone to Luhan’s house then back before he made a decision.

He grabbed his cell, hesitated, and then finally shut it down.

And he left it like that, abandoned in the darkness of his room with his shopping bags, as he talked and laughed the last few hours of the day away with Kyungsoo in the living room. He didn’t regret it one bit.

  
  


  
  


Before Jongin could blink, Kyungsoo’s birthday arrived (with much noise and fanfare, to Jongin’s annoyance). Kyungsoo’s manager stumbled into Luhan’s house with heaps of birthday gifts for the idol, and it took a few trips from the van to the house before they could get all the nicely decorated boxes situated.

Jongin planted his hands onto his knees, trying to catch his breath after the unexpected workout. What in the name of all that was holy could people give as gifts that would weigh so much?! He scrunched up his face in irritation, swiping at the small patch of sweat he felt on his forehead.

“Hey, Jongin,” Kyungsoo’s manager called, and Jongin straightened up, looking over curiously. He was greeted with a nice smile before the manager said, “Can you please wake Kyungsoo up?”

Jongin smirked, tossing his head. “Sure thing,” he said, winking as he headed up to Kyungsoo’s room. Kyungsoo’s manager laughed at him, shaking his head just as Jongin lost sight of the first floor. 

He walked down the hallway and stopped in front of Kyungsoo’s door, pressing his ear curiously to it as he wondered if Kyungsoo was up yet. Kyungsoo was generally an early riser, so the fact that he might still be sleeping at 10 a.m. was a bit weird to Jongin.

When he heard nothing, he frowned and cautiously knocked on the door. No one answered. He tried again, but still nothing.

He debated on whether to open the door or not before he eventually shrugged and opened the door tentatively. Poking his head in, his eyebrows raised in puzzlement when he realized Kyungsoo’s bed was empty.

“Kyungsoo?” he called, confused as he stepped into the room. Kyungsoo’s bed was already made, his room neat and tidy like usual. The curtains had been drawn already to reveal the nice view Kyungsoo had, and Jongin wandered over to it, looking at the winter wonderland outside. He pressed his palm to the glass absently, and jumped back when he realized the window was freezing. He sneered at the glass, then went on to find Kyungsoo.

He turned around, about to leave as he thought about the rooms Kyungsoo might have went into, before a door on Jongin’s left opened. Steam poured from the bathroom door, and out stepped Kyungsoo, wearing big, white pajamas as he toweled off his hair.

Kyungsoo and Jongin blinked at each other.

“Did you need something?” Kyungsoo asked, a surprised smile spreading over his face. Jongin grinned back, his heart beating quickly at the sight, and bowed with a flourish, gesturing grandly toward the door leading to the hallway.

“Your presents await you,” Jongin said, looking up to see Kyungsoo staring at him, amusement drawn onto his face. Soft hands smoothed his frayed hair down, and Jongin allowed himself to be pulled up. Kyungsoo straightened out Jongin’s shirt with excessive flourish, as if he was mocking Jongin’s extravagant bow from earlier, with a teasing smile.

He stepped back and grinned up at Jongin.

“You’re up awfully early,” Kyungsoo observed. “Is there any particular reason why?”

Jongin made a face, immediately denying it as he looked away. Kyungsoo snorted in disbelief, shaking his head fondly. Honestly, Jongin thought as he glared at Kyungsoo, why was Kyungsoo so perceptive about everything?

The truth was, Jongin had gotten up early to wrap his own gift for Kyungsoo. Wrapping gifts wasn’t for him though, and he had to struggle to finally wrap the present up messily. In the end, he had just left it like that as he laughed at himself, feeling foolish and silly. Why was he trying so hard to wrap a damn present anyway?

Kyungsoo was still laughing at Jongin when he began to head out of the room. Jongin raised his head from its stubborn turn, and found Kyungsoo grinning at him, a hand on the doorknob.

“Well?” Kyungsoo asked, raising an eyebrow. “Are you coming or what?”

Jongin went.

  
  


  
  


It was already night time when Jongin decided to bring out his own present for Kyungsoo. He slipped away from the assortment of birthday presents piled high in front of him, unheard and unseen as Kyungsoo, his manager, Luhan, and Baekhyun continued to chat on in the living room by the warmth of the fireplace. He slowly, carefully made his way up the stairs, sidestepping the creaky wood on the ground once he reached reached the second floor.

He entered his room quietly, and picked up the two packages he’d hid under his bed. Then he slunk out of his doorway, carefully balancing the two boxes in one hand as the other closed his door. He crept across the hallway to Kyungsoo’s room, placed the boxes onto Kyungsoo’s bed, and then walked back down to the living room, completely satisfied with himself. He felt a lot like a ninja.

Kyungsoo spotted him as soon as he reached the bottom of the stairs, and Jongin tried to not let the smile that bloomed onto Kyungsoo’s face affect him.

“Hey!” Kyungsoo greeted him as he sat down onto the cushion next to Kyungsoo. “Where did you disappear off to?”

“The bathroom,” Jongin lied easily, shrugging as he got himself comfortable. He glanced at Kyungsoo, quirking his lips into a smirk. “Did you want to come with me, birthday boy?”

Kyungsoo let out a laugh, smiling innocently. The playful glint in his eyes spoke a different story though. “Of course I did,” Kyungsoo said, cocking his head and practically batting his wide eyes. “Why didn’t you tell me you were going?”

Baekhyun snorted hard at that, then recovered and looked away nonchalantly, as if he hadn’t just been listening in on their conversation. Luhan and Kyungsoo’s manager pointedly ignored them as they continued talking about the entertainment industry and how much competition Luhan would have once he finished filming his first movie.

“Sorry,” Jongin said, trying for sincerity. The amused glance Kyungsoo sent him out of the corner of his eyes told Jongin that he was failing. “I’ll tell you next time I go to the bathroom, then.”

“See that you do,” Kyungsoo said graciously.

“Have you two fucked yet?” Baekhyun asked suddenly, a wide smile on his lips as he looked between Jongin and Kyungsoo. They looked away from each other, turning to stare at Baekhyun with incredulous expressions. Kyungsoo’s manager and Luhan were giving Baekhyun surprised looks as well.

“Why are you asking?” Kyungsoo asked, completely curious. There was a note in his voice that told Jongin that he had an inkling of suspicion about why Baekhyun asked. Jongin decided to keep his mouth shut.

Baekhyun opened his mouth to reply (and possibly with more vulgarity), before Luhan elbowed him in the stomach hard. Jongin could hear the air whoosh out of Baekhyun’s lungs and winced in sympathy as he watched Baekhyun hunch in over himself.

“Don’t worry about it, Kyungsoo,” Luhan said with a nice smile, pretending like he hadn’t just hit the breath out of Baekhyun. Jongin narrowed his eyes at Luhan and fought the shiver that wanted to go up his spine; the soon-to-be actor gave him the chills sometimes. Good thing he had something to hold over Luhan’s head or he would’ve seen that smile a long time ago.

Kyungsoo’s manager stood, prompting the rest of them to stand.

“I think it’s about time for me to begin heading home,” he said, giving a pained little groan as he tried to stretch himself out. Jongin ignored the sound of the manager’s popping joints, instead running a hand through his hair.

“Mm,” Baekhyun hummed, nodding. “It’s getting late, so I should probably leave now, too.”

Everyone said their farewells to Baekhyun and Kyungsoo’s manager as the two slipped into their winter gear. Luhan stood off to a few meters away from Baekhyun, not touching Baekhyun at all as they said their goodbyes. Jongin watched them curiously, a little furrow in his brow, before he remembered that Luhan was still in the closet and that Jongin was pretty much the only one who knew about them fucking.

He studied their expressions closely. Luhan seemed a little uncomfortable, but Baekhyun appeared to be the same as always, loud and laughing. He resisted the urge to sigh; Baekhyun was sometimes the best actor when he wanted to be, and if there was one thing he knew about Baekhyun, it was that he hated to show any weaknesses.

They’d have to work out whatever was going on between them by themselves, Jongin thought to himself as he waved goodbye from the couch.

As if he could hear Jongin’s thoughts, Kyungsoo glanced over at him, then over to Baekhyun and Luhan. Jongin blinked, staring at Kyungsoo. Had his thoughts been so plain on his face?

He stole a glance at the others, but none of them seemed to be paying attention to him. Well, even if his thoughts had been clear on his face, no one besides Kyungsoo had caught them, so it wasn’t like it mattered.

Everyone moved toward the door to the house, and Jongin snatched a jacket up for both himself and Kyungsoo. He wasn’t exactly sure they’d use them, but he supposed being ready would pay off if they ended up having to go outside in the freezing snow. The weather was cold and icy during the day, but so much worse at night, and Jongin, for one, was not planning on spending the rest of his winter break with a cold.

The others were still chatting with Baekhyun and Kyungsoo’s manager when they finally made it to the front door. Jongin slipped into a space right next to Kyungsoo, like he belonged there, and silently held Kyungsoo’s jacket out for Kyungsoo to grab.

Kyungsoo glanced down at his hand in silent surprise before he offered Jongin a small, grateful smile as he took the jacket from Jongin’s hand. Their fingers brushed in that time, and Jongin’s whole hand tingled at the contact.

Baekhyun broke away from the group with a laugh as he took hold of the doorknob. “But seriously, we need to get going before the snow comes down again,” he said apologetically, and Jongin almost missed the quick, wistful glance Baekhyun sent to Luhan. Luhan still seemed to be trying to ignore Baekhyun. Jongin resisted the urge to pinch the bridge of his nose in irritation.

And then they all went out in the biting winter weather.

Jongin shivered in his small jacket, thankful that he had at least a little sense to grab something to cover himself up with. He eyed Luhan (but not in worry, no) when he realized that all Luhan was wearing was a thin sweater.

Baekhyun waved goodbye, almost bumping into the igloo that Jongin and Kyungsoo had built a few weeks ago before he stumbled away with another laugh. Kyungsoo’s manager spared them a small wave over the shoulder as Baekhyun and him walked away.

Luhan watched them until they were out of sight.

Kyungsoo was shivering next to him, breath coming out as steamy little white puffs. Jongin frowned and glanced over at Luhan.

“Hey, we need to get back inside,” he called, and when Luhan didn’t move, he wondered if Luhan had heard him at all. Wasn’t the guy freezing? he wondered to himself silently. Jongin was wearing more layers that Luhan was and he was _still_ cold.

But Luhan jerked into motion, as if coming out of a daze, and stumbled past where Jongin and Kyungsoo stood into the warm house. Jongin and Kyungsoo shared a wordless look before following.

“I’m going to go to bed for now,” Luhan told them once they got in, already walking his way up to the second floor. “Happy birthday again, Kyungsoo!”

“Thanks! Good night!” Kyungsoo called after him, getting himself situated in front of the fire again. He seemed to be basking in the heat of the flames, a small, comforted smile on his face. Jongin swallowed, slowly taking off his jacket, his eyes glued to the peaceful expression on Kyungsoo’s face.

“Come sit over here,” Kyungsoo said, glancing over to Jongin with an inviting crinkle of his eyes. He was patting at the space next to him gently. Jongin made his way over, hyper aware of the eyes following him as he sat down.

They both faced forward awkwardly after that. Jongin almost felt the urge to twiddle his thumbs but he restrained himself. Small, bright sparks flared around the edges of the fire and caught his attention just as they died off.

The fire felt almost too hot after being out in the freezing weather, Jongin thought, staring absently into the flames. But it felt good, and he closed his eyes to the sensation of heat radiating against the skin of his face.

“So,” Kyungsoo said, breaking the silence. Jongin opened his eyes and saw Kyungsoo looking at him from the corner of his eyes, a playful smile twitching on his lips. “Did you get me a birthday present?”

Jongin pretended to sneer. “You got all of this,” he said, gesturing to all the boxes piled up around them, “and you still want more?”

Kyungsoo shrugged, remorseless. He said seriously, “There can never be enough presents.”

“Well, that’s all you’ll be getting today,” Jongin said, shrugging as he lied again. “I didn’t get you any presents because I didn’t know about your birthday until yesterday.” Kyungsoo frowned and completely pouted at that, and Jongin wondered if that was real disappointment on Kyungsoo’s face or if it was just an act.

He stood up impulsively, looking down on Kyungsoo. He was about to grab Kyungsoo’s hand, but then stopped himself, and instead grabbed his jacket before walking to the stairs.

“I’m getting tired so I think I’m going to turn in myself,” he said, straight faced. “You should head up to your bed soon. It’s late already.”

Kyungsoo smiled, but it seemed a little forced. “I’ll head up in a minute. I think I’m going to sit in front of the fire a little bit more.”

Jongin hesitated on a step when he heard that, hand resting lightly on the cool, wooden guardrail. He had wanted to be awake when Kyungsoo saw the presents laid out on his bed. However, Kyungsoo seemed intent on staying out until the fire began to die, and, as Jongin eyed the fireplace, that would be at least another forty-five minutes. He sighed lightly, feeling a little dissatisfied at the thought of not being able to see Kyungsoo’s reaction, before continuing up the stairwell. 

He’d just have to wait the next day to hear Kyungsoo’s thoughts about it.  
  
  


  
  


Jongin was already about to fall asleep when his door quietly opened. The light from the hallway cast a long shadow against the carpeted floor of his room. He blinked groggily, a little irritated at whoever was interrupting his sleep, before he realized who the shadow belonged to.

“Kyungsoo?” he muttered, sitting up as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes regretfully. The door, which had begun to close again, paused, and slowly opened again.

Kyungsoo crept into his room, looking a little embarrassed as he held something in his hands. Jongin squinted at Kyungsoo’s dark frame, and the small light from the hallway allowed him to see the Digital Polaroid Camera he’d gotten Kyungsoo as a present in Kyungsoo’s grip. He smiled sleepily.

“I see you opened your present,” Jongin commented, his voice awfully husky despite the fact that he hadn’t slept yet. He tried to clear his throat subtly.

“Yeah,” Kyungsoo muttered, his face angled down so that Jongin couldn’t see the expression he was wearing. Jongin yawned, blinking reflective tears from his eyes.

“So?” he asked, wanting to hear what Kyungsoo thought about it. “Do you like it? Or should I just take it back and get you something else?”

“You said you didn’t get me anything,” Kyungsoo said instead of answering his questions, sounding confused as he continued to look down at the floor. Jongin wished that Kyungsoo would look up already. It bothered him not being able to see Kyungsoo’s face.

He hummed, unsure of how to reply to that. He frowned, turning Kyungsoo’s words around in his head thoughtfully. Was it just him or did the other sound a little upset? He felt his stomach drop from the connotations of that.

“I’m guessing you didn’t like it then,” Jongin said, forcing his tone to be light and nonchalant. It stung a little to know that Kyungsoo hadn’t liked the gift he’d picked out more than it should have, but it wasn’t like he could do anything about it. Maybe next time he’d pick out a better gift. He swung his legs over the edge of the bed, about to get up to take the camera away from Kyungsoo, when Kyungsoo shook his head, grip tightening around the camera.

“No,” Kyungsoo said, and he finally looked up, a soft, _soft_ smile on his face. “I love it. Thank you.”

Jongin’s heart thumped loudly at the sight, and he couldn’t help but stare before a smile overtook his own face.

“I’m glad,” he breathed and sat back down onto his bed. The room fell silent.

It was strange, he thought, to experience so many awkward silences with one person. There was only once or twice in his life that he remembered feeling awkward, not speaking, before he’d known Kyungsoo. Normally conversation came easy to him - _manipulation_ came easy to him. But this was different. Words stuck in his throat as easy as glue with Kyungsoo, and his nerves seemed to skyrocket.

But it wasn’t a bad experience, no. It was a normal experience, and he liked that. He liked being able to be normal for once. Normal was something he didn’t get to feel often, after all.

Before Jongin realized it, Kyungsoo had walked over to where Jongin was seated on the bed. Jongin caught a glimpse of a slip of paper hiding behind the camera before he glanced up. He couldn’t look away from Kyungsoo’s eyes after that.

Kyungsoo seemed hesitant, but there was something about his facial expression that made Jongin’s heart rate speed up. His palms grew clammy, and he suddenly had difficulties breathing. It was like a suffocatingly good pressure on his chest, and it only doubled when Kyungsoo leaned down.

“I love the little coupons you left me too,” Kyungsoo said, his minty, sweet breath fanning against Jongin’s lips. He must’ve brushed his teeth before coming over, Jongin thought, stupefied. “Is it alright if I use one already?”

Jongin, in a daze about what was happening, just nodded mutely.

Kyungsoo’s hands were gently cupping his face, his lean body between Jongin’s thighs. He felt good there, Jongin thought, his eyes sliding shut. And then Kyungsoo’s lips were on his, soft and tentative, a gentle brush that sent a thrill running down Jongin’s spine. He shivered and brought his hands up to grasp at Kyungsoo’s elbows, as if he needed something to hold onto as emotions crashed through him.

And when the kiss ended, he sat there softly panting, eyes closed. Kyungsoo was still there, too, forehead against Jongin’s as they slowly breathed together.

Jongin slowly brought a hand up, cradling it over the hand on his jaw, before gently prying it away from his face. He grasped that hand in both of his own, and then pressed it to his hear

His rapidly, dazedly beating heart.

When Jongin opened his eyes, Kyungsoo was staring at him, a happy smile on those lips that he’d just kissed. Kyungsoo’s smile widened when he saw Jongin open his eyes.

“Thank you,” Kyungsoo whispered.

And Jongin replied, “No, thank _you_.”

Later, when Kyungsoo left, Jongin looked down at the coupon Kyungsoo had returned to him. His eyes traced the black, permanent ink from the sharpie he’d used, barely visible in the dark room.

_One free kiss with Kim Jongin._

He smiled, put it on the bedside table, and went to sleep, hugging onto the mustache pillow.

  
  


  
  


The next day was, unfortunately, a lot less pleasant. He’d woken up in a good enough mood, and had decided to turn on his cell phone for the first time in days. His good mood had ended there though, when he saw nearly one hundred calls and one-hundred and thirty-two text messages from his dear step-brother. He debated on whether to call Taemin back, or just ignore him for good. 

He spent his morning shower fantasizing about ignoring Taemin forever.

Unfortunately, the thought also bothered him just as much as it made him happy. So, after checking Kyungsoo’s room to see the other still asleep, he left a little note on the kitchen counter before walking outside to his car.

He smiled idly at the igloo in front of Luhan’s house, still standing strong, as he passed it.

He made his way back into the city, humming softly to the radio as he tried to not think about what would happen in a few hours. No doubt Taemin was pissed at him, and an angry Taemin was a scary Taemin. Jongin couldn’t find it in himself to be upset with the decision he’d made, though.

He got to the apartment in less than an hour, though he had actually drove according to the speed limits for once. That displeased him, but in the end he decided that it was better like this. He needed to get this over and done with. If he hurried, maybe he’d be able to make it back before Kyungsoo woke up.

Parking his car, he got out and looked up to the row of windows that marked the flat he and Taemin shared together. He saw a figure by the living room window and winced, and made his way inside the building and up to the elevators. By the time he walked inside, Taemin was already waiting for him, face set in stone.

“I see you aren’t dead yet,” Taemin said, voice as chilly and biting as his stare. “Did you have a fun time with your little toy?”

“As charming as ever,” Jongin said back coldly, bumping his shoulder against Taemin to get into the apartment. He took off his jacket, ignoring Taemin glaring in the background as he draped it over the back of the couch and walked down the hallway into his bedroom. He was unbuttoning his shirt at the entrance of his closet when Taemin appeared in his doorway.

“So?” Taemin asked, making his way into Jongin’s room. Jongin ignored him, taking off his shirt and rustling inside his closet for something new. He needed to grab some new clothes as well, he thought, and stared at the assortment of shirts in front of him blankly.

Familiar, warm hands slid around his waist before a tall, lean body pressed against his back. Jongin froze, arms in the air as his fingers gripped at some hangers, when Taemin began to nibble at his neck. A shiver worked its way down his spine before he calmed himself down, letting out a silent exhale before removing himself from Taemin’s grasp.

He could feel Taemin’s angry, offended gaze boring holes into his back as he shrugged a shirt on.

“Did you say something?” Jongin asked him, and felt something like a burning victory in his gut at the look Taemin gave him. Then, as quickly as it had appeared, the look vanished, set into an intimidatingly thoughtful expression that sucked the feeling of victory away.

“He’s really getting to you, isn’t he?” Taemin asked, his eyebrows set in an unimpressed arched.

“And if he is?” Jongin fired back, narrowing his eyes. Taemin let out a bark of cruel laughter.

“You’re losing our bet because of some dumb infatuation you have for an _idol_?” Taemin asked, incredulous. He seemed entertained by the notion, shaking his head pityingly.

“I’m not losing the bet,” Jongin said flatly, irritated. He buttoned up his shirt to give his hands something to do. “It’s just taking me a little longer than I thought it would.”

Taemin smirked at that, fingers trailing up Jongin’s arms. Then he leaned in, so close that just the very outer layer of the skin of his lips brushed against Jongin’s.

“Get ready to lose those prized shoes of yours,” Taemin told him, then left the room without looking back.

  
  


  
  


Jongin spent the entire car ride back to Luhan’s house in fury, angry at Taemin, angry at Kyungsoo, and angry at himself. He seethed his way through the highways, yelling at slow cars and dumb drivers, encouraging even more resentment in him to bubble up. It was there, right under the surface of his skin, waiting to blow, waiting to be let out on someone. 

He hit the car horn roughly when some idiot tried to get in his way, and then made his way around until he finally began to pull up the driveway to Luhan’s house.

He stalked into the house, irritation licking at his heels, and didn’t notice the igloo beginning to slowly melt.

Kyungsoo and Luhan were having lunch already, and they greeted him happily when he strode through the house. He ignored them fully, ignoring Kyungsoo’s hurt look, and made his way into his room.

The door closed with a bang.

  
  


  
  


Jongin spent the rest of the day simmering over his encounter with Taemin, furiously writing things in his journal over Taemin, Krystal, and even Kyungsoo. He poured his anger out, drained himself of the blistering heat under his skin, well into the night before exhaustion began to press against his worn, red eyes.

He stopped when there was a soft knock at his door, and looked up from his journal to take a glance at the clock. It was eleven. He closed his eyes wearily, put the pen down, and closed his journal.

“Jongin?” Kyungsoo’s hesitant, cautious voice asked through the door. “Are you going to eat? It’s not healthy to skip meals.”

Jongin pushed himself up from the chair.

 _“You’re losing our bet because of some dumb infatuation you have for an_ idol _?”_ Taemin’s voice slithered through his mind, echoing in his ears as irritation ate at his heart. He was annoyed, still angry with himself - still angry at Kyungsoo for making him feel this way, but where there had been a nonsensical fury had now been replaced with a calm determination.

He was going to win that bet.

He forced a smile onto his lips and opened the door. Kyungsoo was standing on the other side, looking worried, faint creases lining his forehead as he frowned. He looked weird like that; he’d always thought that Kyungsoo looked better with a smile on his face. Instead of trying to soothe Kyungsoo’s worries though, Jongin quickly erased that thought.

“Are you okay?” Kyungsoo asked, peering up into Jongin’s eyes as if that would tell him everything.

“Sure,” Jongin said, shrugging. He stepped out of his room, closer to Kyungsoo and, when he didn’t see Kyungsoo backing away, took another step forward. Their breath mingled, and he leaned down, pressing his lips against Kyungsoo’s.

The kiss was different than the last one had been. It was forced, rough, aggressive. Jongin tried to control Kyungsoo through the kiss, tried to control his own thoughts and feelings until everything went blank. But it didn’t happen, and he grew desperate. He kissed like his life depended on it, like something was missing in his heart, like his thoughts and reasons for this kiss were dark. And Kyungsoo seemed to realize that, pushing away from him.

They parted soundlessly, looking away from each other as the distance between them began to grow.

“I don’t understand,” Jongin said suddenly, and looked at Kyungsoo. A burning sensation started up behind his eyes unexpectedly, taking him off guard. Kyungsoo glanced at him, face a little distrusting. Jongin said again, shaking his head, “I don’t understand.”

Kyungsoo quickly caught the meaning in his words.

“I don’t trust you enough,” Kyungsoo replied, pressing his lips together. And Jongin couldn’t do anything but stand there, frozen, as Kyungsoo left.

Eventually, he went back into his room. He sat down heavily onto his bed, staring at nothing, and stayed like that for what seemed like hours before he looked over to the clock.

It was midnight, and officially January 14th.

Happy fucking birthday to him.  
  
  


  
  


Jongin came up with one last scheme to get Kyungsoo into bed. It would be the final trick he’d try, before he gave up for good and went home. His one month was nearly up, and he was going to lose the bet at this rate, lose his prized shoes, lose probably the only chance he’d get to conquer Taemin, and, most importantly, lose his pride. 

He wasn’t sure if he could take that.

He ignored the few presents laid out by his door in the corridor, instead walking across the hallway to Kyungsoo’s closed door.

It was already six in the evening; he’d wasted the day away planning and writing down more details. He had gone down for lunch that was held for his birthday, allowing his frustration to show through his fake smile. Kyungsoo seemed to be trying to forget about the incident yesterday, but he was careful and polite with Jongin like he never had been before. It was different between them, and Jongin hated it, resented the change in their relationship and resented himself even more for being sad at the loss of their blossoming relationship.

And that was when he came up with his plan.

He knocked on Kyungsoo’s door, waiting patiently for the, “Come in!” before he inched his way into Kyungsoo’s room. Kyungsoo was sitting on his bed, his music sheets scattered around him and a faint look of concentration set upon his face. Jongin stood by the door, waiting patiently for Kyungsoo to look up and see him.

When no one talked, Kyungsoo frowned and glanced to the door. His hand, which had been getting ready to write down another music note onto one of the music sheets, stilled when he caught sight of Jongin.

Jongin gave Kyungsoo a lax smile, and suddenly this didn’t feel like a plot anymore. It felt real. His heartbeat picked up, and he fought not to show just how shaken up he was. He swallowed.

“I came to say goodbye,” Jongin said without preamble, and locked his jaw to stop himself from saying anymore than that. He glanced up from his eye contact with Kyungsoo, feeling ashamed of the game he was playing. How could he have thought of doing this?

The urge to turn around and run sparked in him.

Kyungsoo frowned. “Where are you going?”

“Back to my apartment,” Jongin forced himself to say, and then bounced his shoulders in a graceless shrug. “I’ve imposed on Luhan enough as it is.” He stopped there, unsure if he really wanted to carry his plan through. Could he do it? He wasn’t sure if he was that kind of person anymore.

Kyungsoo observed him and, from his expression, Jongin guessed that his internal struggle was clear on his face.

“Is that really the reason you’re leaving?” Kyungsoo asked, lips slowly turning downward. A spec of black despair appeared in Jongin’s consciousness, and he suddenly, irrationally wished that Kyungsoo had left it alone, had let Jongin to leave the house without a quuestion, before they were both hurt over what he was about to do.

“No,” he said, and hesitated, hanging his head. “I suppose I’m a little tired of you.” Kyungsoo said nothing at that, and Jongin looked up. “Of your games, that is.”

“...games?” Kyungsoo questioned softly, as if he was confused. Jongin could see the turmoil in his eyes, and his heart ached.

“You like me one minute, and then you push me away the next,” Jongin said, expression bleak, and came to a realization that he wasn’t lying this time. He really _did_ feel hurt whenever Kyungsoo brushed away his advances like they were nothing. He’d never known that he could hurt that much from being rejected like he had been in the hallway.

He continued, bitterly, “I guess I should have known, though. You probably didn’t see me as the guy who’d take your virginity. I’m not a smart guy, and I’m not a nice guy, either. I’m not someone who you can take to your parents proudly, and I’m pretty sure I never will be. I’ve accepted that a long time ago,” he raised his voice when he saw Kyungsoo about to try and interrupt, “but just because I’ve accepted it doesn’t mean I like having it thrown in my face. You make me feel inadequate.”

“I’m sorry that I made you feel that way,” Kyungsoo said, once he saw that Jongin was done. There was disappointment and sadness in his eyes, and Jongin had to turn away from the sight. Instead, he looked over the small part of Kyungsoo’s shoulders. It didn’t make him feel any better, because he could still feel Kyungsoo staring at him, but it did give him the ability to gather and form his thoughts better. “It’s probably better that you’re leaving if what you say is true.”

Those words stole the breath from Jongin’s lungs.

  
Initially, he didn’t say anything, turning what Kyungsoo had said around in his mind. There was no fight in the words, no implication that Kyungsoo would try and stop him from leaving. A curious feeling built up in his chest, and he realized that he was angry and upset. His left hand balled into a frustrated fist.

He knew that Kyungsoo loved him, at least on some level. Kyungsoo loved him enough to kiss him on his own free will. But Jongin had never contemplated on just how _much_ Kyungsoo loved him, and from what Kyungsoo had just said, it wasn’t enough.

“Okay, then,” he said finally, gazing at Kyungsoo with something almost like a glare. “I guess that’s it.” Scoffing under his breath, he turned and reached for the door, wondering if the small ball of misery in his chest would ever leave. It sure felt like it was there to stay. He paused, his hand on the doorknob, the coolness of it pressing into his palm. He turned back.

“You know what I find funny?” he asked, unable to hide the dejection and spite in his voice. Kyungsoo shook his head wordlessly, wary eyes tracing Jongin’s face. “You talked about how you wanted to wait for love, how you would wait until you found _the one_. I’m right here - I’ve _been_ here, this whole time, by your side. And yet, you’re letting me slip away. Don’t you find that amusing? I certainly do,” he spat out, and shook his head, closing his eyes to try and control all the horrible emotions raging inside of him before opening them again. “I have no doubt that you’ll fall in love again after this. But you know what? I hope you think about me during your first time, and feel regret.”

He watched with a sense of angry satisfaction as Kyungsoo slowly considered his words, eyelids slowly curving downwards as he looked off to the side. Jongin wanted to shake him, but in the end, just shook his head again and turned to grab the doorknob once more.

“Wait,” Kyungsoo said, and Jongin froze. He pressed his lips together, smothering the hope that was threatening to bloom inside of him, and instead thought of nothing as he looked over his shoulder.

Kyungsoo was walking closer to him, and Jongin took half a step forward. Kyungsoo looked up at him then, just a small breath away, eyes dark and unfathomable. Then Kyungsoo continued forward, until he was pressed against Jongin, hands going around Jongin’s waist. Jongin heard the click of the door’s lock spring into place, and he went dizzy with staggering relief when he finally realized what Kyungsoo’s actions meant.

Kyungsoo leaned up, eyes closed, and gently smoothed his lips against Jongin’s. At first, it was just a brush of lips against lips, but then Kyungsoo opened his mouth, and Jongin could help himself anymore. All the pent up desire and frustration broke behind his wall of control, and his hands gripped at Kyungsoo’s hips possessively as he grazed his tongue against the wall of Kyungsoo’s top teeth.

This was crazy, he couldn’t help but think. But he couldn’t get enough of Kyungsoo. He was already drowning and he wasn’t sure if he ever wanted to surface again.

Their kiss grew passionate as they slanted their mouths, tongues battling as they slowly began to walk toward Kyungsoo’s messy bed. Kyungsoo’s hands were busy trying to untie Jongin’s pajama pants, and their kiss broke for a moment so Kyungsoo could look down in frustration when he couldn’t unknot the strings. Jongin observed him dazedly, taking in the frenzied motions of Kyungsoo’s hands. His mouth went dry when Kyungsoo finally loosened the pants strings, and leaned back to look Jongin in the face.

Kyungsoo bit his bottom lip, slowly edging toward the bed as he took off his own shirt. Jongin followed him with his eyes, watching as pale skin was gradually revealed to him.

Jongin wanted this. He wanted it so badly that his hands were shaking. He wanted to be able to kiss Kyungsoo without having to think about whether it was right or if it was wrong, wanted to be able to touch him and hold him until they bonded in ways that put all their other experiences together to shame. But then Kyungsoo leaned back, shirt off, nipples pebbled and face flushed, with his hands on his pants, looking a little lost as he turned confused eyes towards Jongin.

A sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach bloomed. Kyungsoo’s eyes were wide, he couldn’t help but observe. Wide with innocence, purity, and trust. The trust was what got Jongin the most. It was trust aimed at _him_.

Jongin felt it like a punch in the gut. Kyungsoo loved him, he thought, almost hysterically. Kyungsoo loved him enough to trust him.

He remembered the bet all of a sudden.

And that was when he realized that he didn’t deserve to be trusted.

His breath stuttered out of him and he shook his head, slowly backing away, unable to look Kyungsoo in the eyes. Frustration and shame rolled through him, bringing unshed tears to his eyes, and he looked back up at that face he adored, that face he _loved_ and said, “I can’t.”

He left quietly, quickly, his heart in his throat. He fled to the bathroom, and let out an explosive breath when he closed the door. His back hit the door roughly as he stumbled against it, strength suddenly leaving his body.

He looked up into the mirror across from him, and saw a face he almost didn’t recognize staring back, looking weary and lovesick.

  
  


  
  


“Kim Jongin, get up,” someone said angrily, shaking him from his sleep. 

He mumbled, eyes peeking groggily open to see Luhan glaring at him. He lifted his head from the hard surface he’d fallen asleep on last night, blinking at the bright light streaming in through the windows before he realized that he’d fallen asleep on his journal. He slammed the journal shut protectively before he even realized it, and then froze and slowly turned to Luhan sheepishly. Lucky, Luhan didn’t seem to realize how uncharacteristic his mini freak out, furious eyes fastened onto Jongin’s face.

“What did you do to Kyungsoo?” Luhan demanded, infuriated. Jongin was still trying to shake the sleep from his foggy mind when he realized what Luhan had said. 

“What?” he asked, confused. Surely Kyungsoo hadn’t told Luhan about last night’s...

“He left!” Luhan said and threw his hands into the air, a sign of how fed up he was. And then, in a more defeated tone, he repeated, “He left.” Jongin processed those words slowly, his lungs failing on him as understanding slowly sprinkled through him like rain drops.

Kyungsoo... left...

Jongin was out of his seat before he knew it, stumbling over to take Luhan by the shoulders as panic engulfed him. His fingers were trembling as he gripped onto Luhan, eyes wide with dismay.

“Where did he go?” he asked, and shook Luhan when he just looked away wordlessly. Desperation gnawed at his thundering heart. He shook Luhan harder, not caring when he saw Luhan wince at his tightened hold, and asked again, “Where did he _go_?”

“He left a few minutes ago,” Luhan said finally, and looked at Jongin sadly. “His manager came to pick him up.”

Jongin let him go, his fingers loosening from Luhan’s shoulders one by one until his arms dropped to his sides uselessly.

Was this it? he asked himself, eyes conspicuously dry. Was this their ending? His shoulders, previously tensed, slowly slackened, hunching.

Luhan watched him closely. Jongin wasn’t sure what he saw in him, but it was probably something disappointing. He found that he didn’t mind - not anymore, anyway.

“Are you already giving up?” Luhan asked him, pressing his lips together in an unsatisfied line. Jongin didn’t say anything, turning around to look out the window. Luhan scoffed behind him, and Jongin heard the sound of footsteps walking away. “You’re pathetic, Kim Jongin.” The door slammed shut behind him.

The sound of the door closing roused him from from his daze, and he glanced behind him to his empty room as Luhan’s voice echoed in his head.

_“You’re pathetic.”_

Was Kyungsoo worth that little to you? he asked himself. Was he worth so little to you that you won't even try and chase after him?

But he knew the answer to that was no.

Question was, why was he still sitting here, wasting time as it slowly ticked by?

He got up, and ran.

  
  


  
  


Jongin almost hadn’t seen him in his effort to quickly catch up to Kyungsoo’s manager. He’d been so focused on chasing any familiar looking car that he hadn’t been totally paying attention to the sides of the roads. He passed the person standing on the side of the road before he realized just _who_ he had passed.

He did a shocked double-take and slammed on the brakes, grateful that there was no one else out on the streets or he very likely could’ve been involved in a crash just then.

He hurriedly put the car on park and got out of the driver’s seat, slowly standing in the road as he looked back. Kyungsoo, holding his suitcase in his hand, stared back. Jongin’s knees wobbled for a split second before he took a faltering step, relief crushing down on him ruthlessly. Then he took another faltering step, and another, and another, until he stood in front of Kyungsoo, gazing at that face he thought he’d almost lost.

“I didn’t think you’d come after me,” Kyungsoo admitted, trying to sound like he was joking, eyes roving over Jongin’s face like a loving caress. Jongin didn’t find it funny at all.

“Why wouldn’t I?” he asked, serious, as he lifted a hand to touch Kyungsoo’s cheek gently. “How could I just let you go when I love you this much?” And he slid his hands from Kyungsoo’s cheek into his soft hair as he pulled Kyungsoo closer to him, so close that their breath fanned each other’s lips, and closer still until the distance between them vanished into thin air like a thief in the night.

Jongin saw Kyungsoo’s eyes flutter close just as his own slid shut.

This kiss was normal, natural, but it felt different to Jongin as their mouths moved against one another. There was a special meaning in this kiss; everything felt new and amazing to him, as if he were experiencing the kiss from the beautiful side of life. Sometimes, when they shared air between them, it felt like Jongin wasn’t just kissing Kyungsoo’s outer shell... it was like he was kissing Kyungsoo’s soul. He never wanted to lose this feeling.

Because this feeling was brilliant and painfully exquisite.

And most importantly, it was them.

 

 

 

 

Kyungsoo straddled him, a rosy flush at the base of his neck working upwards to his face as Jongin rubbed their hips together. They were in Jongin’s bedroom, on his bed, having made their way as inconspicuously as they could through Luhan’s quiet house. Jongin wondered why they bothered - they’d be making plenty of noise later on and they probably should’ve warned Luhan beforehand - but wait. Why was Jongin even thinking about Luhan right now when he finally had Kyungsoo in his bed? 

“I want,” Kyungsoo murmured to him, making a small, sexy little groan when Jongin pressed his hips upward again. Jongin closed his eyes, swallowing hard to stifle his own groan, dropping his head back to the pillow as flames kindled deep in his belly. He laid there for a minute, savoring the feeling of lust coursing through his limbs, savoring the feeling of love he felt when he realized that he was about to make love to someone he adored and cherished.

Kyungsoo pressed down on him, head lolling back and lips puffy from kisses open as he breathed. Jongin opened his eyes, drinking in the sight of Kyungsoo like that, with his torso stretched out and nipples pebbled. Kyungsoo’s eyes were closed and Jongin had the weirdest urge to see them, so he laid his hand onto the soft curve of Kyungsoo’s cheek, watching with a quiet delight when Kyungsoo opened his lids to reveal dark, dazed eyes.

Jongin pulled Kyungsoo down, nibbling at Kyungsoo’s bottom lip before tracing the tip of his tongue against the top row of Kyungsoo’s teeth, then steadily moving lower, sucking tiny love bites into Kyungsoo’s neck as his fingers fumbled with the button’s on Kyungsoo’s pants.

Kyungsoo, he saw with a certain satisfaction, wore briefs.

“Do you have...” Kyungsoo paused and breathed in, body going rigid when Jongin licked at one of his nipples. Jongin’s fingers were teasingly tracing the elastic band of Kyungsoo’s underwear, loving the feel of Kyungsoo’s soft skin under his hands. Kyungsoo continued, “Do you have a condom and lube?”

Jongin froze and dropped his head back down to the pillow, squeezing his eyes shut in frustration. No way. He couldn’t believe it but... he’d forgotten all about the condom and lube.

“Fuck my life,” he said out loud, and Kyungsoo laughed, sliding a teasing hand down Jongin’s abs. Jongin made a noise when Kyungsoo’s fingers slid against a ticklish spot on his stomach, and his stomach jumped in reaction.

“Oh?” Kyungsoo asked out loud, a mischievous smile lighting his face. Jongin wanted to bolt out of bed when he saw it. “Are you ticklish, Kim Jongin?”

“No,” he denied immediately, and the way Kyungsoo smirked at him told him that he was in for a world of pain if he didn’t _abort the mission right away_. He pushed Kyungsoo off of him, quickly getting up.

“I’m going to see if Luhan stashed any condoms and lube anywhere,” he said hurriedly, and raced out of the room, Kyungsoo’s laughter following him down the hallway.

Jongin quickly searched everywhere he could think of - the bathroom shelves, under the sinks, under the couch pillows, through some old shoe boxes, and even through some cd cases he found lying around - but he didn’t come up with anything. He plopped down on the couch, running his hands through his hair frustratedly. Where the hell did Luhan keep all his things? Jongin would have to go to the store thirty minutes away at this rate.

He stood up, blowing out an explosive exhale of air before he spotted something on the kitchen table from the corner of his eye. He looked over, then blinked when he realized what it was as his face went red.

Luhan had laid out a box of condoms and a bottle of lube for them onto the table. Jongin slowly walked toward it, head twitching as he looked around, wondering if Luhan was playing a joke on him.

A note sat next to the items innocently. When Jongin didn’t see any mysterious cameras pointed at him, he walked up and grabbed it.

_If you or Kyungsoo get cum on my bed sheets (or on anything else, for that matter), I will sue you. Use the condoms and lube wisely. I’ll be coming home in five hours. When I come home with dinner, please don’t tell me where you had sex. I don’t want to know._

_\- Luhan_

Jongin laughed, snatching the items on the table up with his free hand before heading back to his room. He was still snickering to himself about Luhan’s letter when he walked into his room.

He froze when he looked up.

Kyungsoo was there on his bed, lying naked amidst Jongin’s dark sheets, staring at him with a smoldering gaze that stopped Jongin’s lungs from working properly. When he saw that he had Jongin’s full attention, Kyungsoo smiled a slow, inviting smile that beckoned Jongin to the bed. And Jongin went, dazed and hot all over, stripping from his clothes quickly and quietly.  

Their skin slid against each other, and Jongin coaxed Kyungsoo to relax, to give him all the trust Kyungsoo could bare to give. He wanted trust from Kyungsoo, wanted it badly. He didn’t deserve the trust, but he desired for it like nothing before. And Kyungsoo gave, gave until there was nothing there but trust shining in his eyes, shining in his actions and motions.

Jongin recognized it easily, and he pressed kisses everywhere in silent gratitude. He licked his way down until he had Kyungsoo gasping, heaving against the sheets from the pleasure, and took his time there, teaching, showing. The room was hazy in his eyes, and he couldn’t seem to focus on anything except for Kyungsoo as he writhed.

Kyungsoo’s legs were tight around his hips, holding onto him when he came back up for a kiss. He opened Kyungsoo up lightly as their teeth clashed against each other, allowing him time to adjust around his slick fingers. Kyungsoo’s heart was racing against his, skin slick with perspiration and need. Jongin could feel Kyungsoo’s heart beating around his fingers, tight and warm, and he ached to be in there, ached until it became painful. He waited though, holding steady onto his control.

Kyungsoo was tempting this way, flushed face tossing on the mustache pillows as Jongin brushed his fingers deep in him.

A whisper, a plea.

Jongin pulled his fingers out and pulled a condom on, slicking himself up liberally, before melting back onto Kyungsoo, angling his hips just right to ease deep into Kyungsoo.

“Are you okay?” he whispered, and Kyungsoo’s eyes opened, so full of love and need that it made Jongin want to stay with him like this forever, until the end of time. Kyungsoo nodded, and Jongin leaned down, touching their lips together, not kissing, but simply sharing breath as he moved.

Kyungsoo’s gasps echoed through Jongin, loud and in tandem with the pulsing beat against his ear drums. Something great built up between them, something more than pleasure, something more than life. And this feeling fueled him onward, beautiful and incomparable and all consuming.

The pleasure broke Kyungsoo down in front of him, and Kyungsoo shattered silently, exquisite in his pained pleasure. Jongin watched his face through eyes half-closed, taking in the beauty of the moment, savoring it and placing it somewhere special inside him, before he cracked, mouth open to call Kyungsoo’s name in one shuddering breath.

They clung onto each other, coming down the high slowly, sharing languid, open-mouthed kisses as the fire disappeared from their veins, retreating until there was nothing but racing hearts pounding against each other in harmony.

Jongin pulled out a few moments later, and Kyungsoo winced at the action. Jongin tried to soothe him, and pressed kisses to his face until the frown had left. He got up, knees shaky as he made his way over to the bathroom. The air smelled like sweat and sex, a direct contrast to the air in the bathroom, crisp and clean. He tied the used condom up and trashed it before grabbing a cloth, running it under warm water before padding back to the bed, where his lover was already snuggling down on his mustache pillow.

Jongin smiled and got back onto the bed, running the cloth gently over Kyungsoo to wipe the sweat and cum off. He was careful with Kyungsoo’s lower half, smoothing the cloth gently across his privates. Kyungsoo mumbled when he stopped his ministrations, so Jongin pressed a kiss to Kyungsoo’s forehead, dumping the cloth onto the floor.

Then he snuggled up to Kyungsoo, head resting against the edge of his own mustache pillow. He closed his eyes to the sight of Kyungsoo’s peaceful face.

  
  


  
  


When he woke back up, Kyungsoo was staring at him with a soft expression on his face. Jongin felt tingles in his toes at the sight, and he smiled, pressing close to peck a small kiss onto Kyungsoo’s lips. 

“You feeling alright?” he asked, slightly worried.

“I feel great,” Kyungsoo said, his smile the happiest Jongin had ever seen.

Jongin bit his bottom lip, trying to stifle the giddiness welling in him, and nodded. “Me too.”

  
  


  
  


Familiar laughter reached his ears as he padded down the stairs idly. He blinked, rounding the corner of the staircase curiously to see what was going on. Kyungsoo was laughing at something Luhan was holding, head thrown back to expose his marked neck. Jongin scratched his head, frowning as irrational jealousy fanned out in him. Since when had Kyungsoo and Luhan gotten so... chummy with each other?

He walked (though it was more marching than walking) over, not paying attention to what Luhan was waving around, arms wrapping around Kyungsoo’s shoulders in a sign of possession. He glared at Luhan warning, pressing a kiss to Kyungsoo’s neck. Luhan paused, a funny little smile on his face that had the glare dropping from Jongin’s face.  
  
“What?” he asked gruffly, and promptly melted when Kyungsoo reached a hand back to idly comb his fingers through Jongin’s hair.

“Luhan took a rather... cute picture of us when he came home,” Kyungsoo said, a smile obvious in his voice.

Jongin frowned. “What?” he asked again, this time incredulously.

Luhan smirked victoriously, shoving the image in Jongin’s face. Jongin’s jaw dropped when he saw it. Kyungsoo was rather adorable in it. Jongin, however, was not. In fact, the picture was captured to show just about the worst image of him in the history of all his pictures.

“Give me that,” he demanded, his face flaming. Kyungsoo and Luhan laughed at him, and when Jongin went to grab the picture, Luhan danced out of reach.

“I don’t think so,” Luhan sing-songed, smirked. He turned and ran when Jongin charged after him, yelling.

Twenty minutes later, Jongin came back to flop into the chair next to Kyungsoo, flushed and sulking. Luhan was a fast runner, he learned. Every time Jongin had gotten close enough to tackle Luhan, the other had easily skittered away, laughter ringing in the halls as Jongin chased him.

Kyungsoo cooed at him, reaching up to pet his head like he would a cute dog. Jongin scrunched his nose, but in the end enjoyed it. He huffed out a sigh, leaning into the touch.

“Better?” Kyungsoo asked him, eyes disappearing behind his smile.

“I guess,” he said, but then thought better of that and puckered his lips. He tapped his bottom lip, looking at Kyungsoo with innocent yes. “I’d feel better if you kissed me though.” Kyungsoo gave him a look that told him Kyungsoo knew exactly what he was doing, but humored him anyway, leaning in to press a kiss to his lips.

A flash went off from the side and they broke apart to see Luhan holding Kyungsoo’s camera, grinning. Jongin growled, pushing up from his seat.

“You little shit-” he started, but Luhan wasn’t looking at him - he was looking at the picture, a pleased smile on his face. He walked over, handing the picture and the camera over to Jongin.

Jongin blinked and looked down before a grin spread across his face. Kyungsoo, curious, looked over as well, before snatching the picture out of his hands.

“Hey!” Jongin protested. “I wanted that picture!”

“No can do,” Kyungsoo said, beaming at him as he tucked the picture into his back pocket quickly.

Luhan, who was putting the take-out he’d brought onto the table, rolled his eyes and said, “Please don’t start flirting at the table, that’s gross."

In retaliation for Luhan’s comment and Kyungsoo’s picture robbing, Jongin stole half of their fries. He smiled to himself, satisfied.

(He proceeded to feed Kyungsoo his share back a few minutes later after Kyungsoo pouted at him.)

  
  


  
  


Kyungsoo still ended up having to move into an apartment, despite Jongin’s vehement protests.

“My manager planned this from the beginning, though it’s a little earlier than expected,” Kyungsoo had told him with a shrug and a little smile. Jongin didn’t respond, a permanent, displeased scowl on his face. He didn’t like the sound of Kyungsoo moving out of Luhan’s house at all; he and Kyungsoo had only just bonded, and yet they were already being separated. The thought irritated him. All he had wanted to do was stay with Kyungsoo for a few days, but apparently that was asking for too much.

Kyungsoo seemed to realize what he was angsting over, and bounded over to Jongin, wrapping his arms around Jongin’s waist.

“Don’t pull that face,” Kyungsoo said, pressing a sweet, sweet kiss to Jongin’s jaw. Jongin almost melted, but stubbornly held onto his annoyance. Kyungsoo mock-pouted when he saw that Jongin hadn’t fallen for it, and pressed another sweet, _sweet_ kiss to the corner of Jongin’s mouth. He pulled away before Jongin could turn his head and give him a proper kiss, and smiled. “If you keep that face up any longer, it might just ruin your handsome face in the long run.”

Jongin reached up to hug Kyungsoo to him, leaning his forehead against Kyungsoo’s shoulder in a rare moment of weakness.

“I wanted to stay with you,” Jongin muttered into Kyungsoo’s shirt, almost petulantly. This longing in his chest had only started up when he realized that he wouldn’t have Kyungsoo by his side during his every waking moment, and it wouldn’t go away no matter how much he tried to ignore it.

One of Kyungsoo’s hands went up to comb through his hair lightly, and Jongin relaxed little by little at his lover’s feathery light touches.

“I wanted to, also, but just because I’m leaving here doesn’t mean we won’t see each other,” Kyungsoo said maturely. Jongin pulled away from him and made another annoyed face, before sighing heavily and leaning down to kiss Kyungsoo. He ran his tongue against Kyungsoo’s soft palate, allowing himself to fully immerse himself in Kyungsoo. He was about to go for the button on Kyungsoo’s jeans when Kyungsoo broke their kiss with a gasp, face flushed, lips red, and eyes dazed.

Jongin took a certain pleasure in seeing Kyungsoo like that.

“We can’t,” Kyungsoo said, his protest sounding dazed, blinking as if he were trying to gather back his wits. Jongin frowned. “My manager will be here soon. Who knows what he’ll do if he walks in while we’re... you know.”

“Okay,” Jongin said, though all he wanted to do was pin Kyungsoo onto the bed and ravage him until all rationality left. He held back though, and put a safe amount of distance between them so that his... other head... would cool down.

As if on cue, Jongin heard footsteps coming from down the hallway. Luhan popped his head into the open door a few seconds later, looking immensely relieved that he hadn’t walked into them doing something. That only made Jongin more annoyed; he crossed his arms in front of his chest and glared at Luhan. Unfortunately, Luhan seemed to avoid looking at his general direction, so it was completely worthless.

“Are you ready to go, Kyungsoo?” Luhan asked, smiling. Kyungsoo nodded, and grabbed his two large suitcases from the bed with a huff. That was... slightly adorable.

Okay, so that made Jongin’s irritation go away a little. Trying to stop his lips from twitching upward, he stalked over to Kyungsoo, pulled one of the suitcases from his grip, and stalked out of the room.

He didn’t have to look back to see Kyungsoo’s smile; he could feel it as he marched down the stairs.

A few second later, a “Thanks, Jongin!” floated down the stairs.

He stifled a chuckle and yelled back, “Yeah, whatever.”

  
  


  
  


Though Kyungsoo’s manager came to pick him up, Jongin was able to at least persuade him to allow Jongin to take Kyungsoo.

They talked about the future in Jongin’s car as he followed the manager through the streets, weaving through the automobiles on the road expertly. There were a few dumbasses out on the roads, like usual, but Kyungsoo was able to soothe and calm his road rage with some of the aegyo he’d perfected as an idol.

“Do you know what you want to be when you grow up?” Kyungsoo asked, curiosity shining in his eyes.

“Yeah,” Jongin said, and looked over to see Kyungsoo’s surprised expression. He laughed. “What? Do I look like the kind of guy who wouldn’t know what he wanted to do later in life?” Kyungsoo shook his head hastily at that.

“That’s not what I meant and you know it,” Kyungsoo protested, frowning. “Besides, I didn’t even say anything!”

“Well?” Jongin cocked his head to the side, shooting Kyungsoo a quizzical smirk. “What _did_ you mean, then?”

“I was just surprised, that’s all,” Kyungsoo said. “I mean, you don’t really talk about yourself.” Jongin shrugged.

“There’s not much about me to talk about,” Jongin said, and in his head amended, with you, anyway. What, exactly, could he share with Kyungsoo? How he’d probably fucked probably half of the high school, or that he had a step-brother everyone believed was an angel but was actually a devil in disguise? There was just no way he was speaking a word about that to Kyungsoo.

Besides, if their relationship survived the onslaught of pressure from Taemin (or even Kyungsoo’s fans) he’d personally be the one to make sure his manwhoring days were dead and gone. There was no need to make Kyungsoo worry.

“I bet you’re lying to me right now, aren’t you?” Kyungsoo asked knowingly and rolled his eyes when Jongin didn’t say anything. “Fine. At least tell me what you want to do when you go to college.”

Jongin debated on actually telling Kyungsoo before he gave in.

“I want to be a dancer,” he mumbled, and refused to meet Kyungsoo’s eyes. He felt strangely embarrassed. “I’ve always wanted to dance on Broadway.”

“You must be amazing,” Kyungsoo breathed, and actually sounded awed. Jongin peeked at him from the corner of his eyes, then looked away as a flush worked its way up his neck.

“I’m okay,” Jongin said, trying to downplay it.

“You have to show me one day, okay?” Kyungsoo said, completely ignoring his other statement as he grinned happily, eyes almost disappearing behind his eyelids.

Jongin smiled. “Okay.”

For the last half of the ride to Kyungsoo’s new place, Jongin took one hand off the steering wheel and gripped onto Kyungsoo’s, squeezing as he turned his burning face from Kyungsoo’s inquiring stare. Kyungsoo, luckily for Jongin’s pride, didn’t remark about that, and instead squeezed his hand back.

And when they got to where Kyungsoo was staying, Jongin couldn’t even find it in himself to be angry.

He waved, and then watched with fond, loving eyes as Kyungsoo disappeared into his new apartment.  
  
  


  
  


Since Kyungsoo was living only a few blocks from his actual apartment, Jongin decided to stop by his apartment. The good mood had already faded away, leaving only dread in its place.

He was definitely _not_ looking forward to seeing his step-brother again.

He got to the apartment in mere minutes and scowled at the dashboard; while this meant that he’d be able to visit Kyungsoo easily, he had hoped that it would take him at least twenty minutes to get to where he lived. Unease pooled in his belly.

There was no use hiding now. Taemin had probably already caught sight of him.

Jongin got out of his car slowly, and meandered to the apartment doors. He greeted the doorman politely, much to the doorman’s surprise, and walked inside. He took the stairs instead of the elevators to buy himself more time to get ready for Taemin, but he found it meaningless once he reached his floor.

He anxiously pushed open the door. When no one greeted him with a furious glare, he blinked in surprise. Huh, that was strange.

He walked around the apartment, looking around as he took off his coat and shoes. Still nothing. He wandered into the kitchen, searched the dining area, and finally went into the hallway. Cautiously stepping through the rooms, Jongin finally ended up in front of his own room, confused.

Where was that step-brother of his?

Of course, that question was quickly answered when he went into his room.

Taemin was on his bed, waiting for him with a smirk on his full lips.

“Looks like you won the bet after all,” Taemin purred, and sidled up to Jongin in a confident prowl. He began to unbutton Jongin’s shirt, sliding his warm hands up Jongin’s shirt.

Jongin snapped out of his daze at the feeling of Taemin’s hands on him, and grabbed both of Taemin’s wandering hands with his own, frowning. He shook his head. “I don’t...” he trailed off.

Taemin scoffed. “Don’t lie. You’ve wanted this ever since our parents married each other. You’ve wanted to _fuck me_ for so long, and you’re just going to turn it down like that?”

Jongin pressed his lips together and dropped Taemin’s hands from his like he’d touched something disgusting. “I am,” he said, and stepped back to gesture toward his door. “Please leave.”

Taemin snarled. “We made a bet.”

“The bet’s off,” Jongin said angrily.

“Fuck. You,” Taemin hissed, and then left the room in a flurry of angry limbs. He slammed the door behind him so hard that the wall rattled.

Jongin breathed out shuddering air.

Had he just... refused Taemin?

He blinked.

He had.

And it had felt good.

  
  


  
  


Jongin walked out of his room a few hours later, on the way back down to his car. He twirled his keys with his finger as he shut his door; he had left his stuff over at Luhan’s mansion, so he had to go back and get it. Maybe once he returned, he’d stop by Kyungsoo’s house to personally say goodnight before he returned. The thought shot a happy tingle up his spine. 

Taemin was wrapping something up in a brown, cardboard box when he walked outside into the living room. Jongin paused, staring at him.

“What are you doing?” he eventually asked as Taemin continued to ignore him. Taemin glanced up to him, and smiled a sweet, angelic smile that made Jongin begin to worry. His step-brother did _not_ smile like that for no reason.

“Don’t worry about it, Jongin,” Taemin said cheerfully.

Jongin knew that Taemin was planning something then. He eyed Taemin, suspicious, and sighed and turned, walking out the door. Whatever it was Taemin was planning on doing to him, he hoped that it didn’t involve Kyungsoo. He’d never forgive Taemin if it did.

He got into his car, spared his apartment windows one last troubled glance, then turned the ignition on and left for Luhan’s.  


 

  
  


“Thanks for letting me stay,” he told Luhan as he got ready to leave. The sun was already setting, and he needed to get going if he wanted to catch Kyungsoo while he was still awake. The igloo he and Kyungsoo had built a month ago had already melted, new snow slowly taking its place. Luhan walked him out to his car. 

“It was actually no problem,” Luhan said, looking mildly surprised as he admitted that. “You were, to my shock, a good house guest. I can almost forgive you for blackmailing me into hooking you and Kyungsoo up, too. Kind of.” Jongin snorted.

“You’re not so bad yourself,” Jongin said as he got into his car, smiling teasingly. Luhan let out a laugh as he turned to leave. Jongin stared at his back, remembered something, and grew serious as he rolled down his window and called Luhan back. Luhan looked at him over his shoulder curiously. “Go easy on Baekhyun, okay? I think he might actually like you.”

He left, Luhan’s surprised reflection in his mirrors.

  
  


  
  


Unfortunately, Jongin was unable to make it to Kyungsoo’s apartment before ten, so he just headed home, disappointed. He went up to the apartment and made his way to his room through the darkened surroundings. Taemin had already gone to sleep, and he was guessing Kevin, their Chinese half-butler, had already left as well.

He opened the door to his room and changed his clothes quickly as he sent a text to Kyungsoo.

 _are you sleeping?_ _  
_

A reply buzzed at his phone just a few seconds later, much to his surprise and delight.

_Not yet. Waiting for my goodnight call from a certain someone._

He smiled and eagerly called Kyungsoo, pressing the phone to his ear like it held something precious. Kyungsoo picked up on the first ring.

 _“Hey,”_ Kyungsoo said sleepily, but happily. _“About time you called me.”_

“Sorry,” Jongin said apologetically, grinning at nothing as he imagined Kyungsoo’s sleepy, disgruntled face in his mind. “I’m surprised you aren’t asleep yet.”

 _“Mm,”_ Kyungsoo murmured, voice so soft that it sent tingles through Jongin’s fingers. _“I’m half-way to dreamland though. I’m glad you called before I could fall asleep.”_

Jongin had a sudden yearning; he wanted to see Kyungsoo so _badly_. He wanted to be able to talk to Kyungsoo face to face at this moment, watch him try and fail at blinking the sleep from his eyes, watch as Kyungsoo’s hands curled around his own, watch as Kyungsoo fell asleep, safe in his arms. His grip on his phone tightened.

His silence must’ve spoken for itself because Kyungsoo, even in his stupor, recognized it easily and asked, _“You okay?"_

Jongin paused then admitted, “Just missing you.”

 _“I miss you, too,”_ Kyungsoo said quietly, sounding _more_ than just half-way to dreamland. He was obviously trying to stay awake for Jongin’s sake. Jongin had to wonder if Kyungsoo had had a schedule for that day after he had finished moving - that could have explained why Kyungsoo was so tired in the first place.

Silence took over the line then, and Jongin quietly got in bed, listening to the sound of Kyungsoo’s breathing as it grew deep and steady. Then he said, “I love you.”

Kyungsoo didn’t answer, already fast asleep.

Jongin smiled, something warm behind his eyes, and listened to Kyungsoo’s breathing for a few more minutes. When his own eyes grew heavy with sleep, he whispered, “Good night,” and hung up.  
  
  


  
  


The next morning was off to a great start. He’d called Kyungsoo after waking up, brushing his teeth, and showering, eager to hear his lover again; Kyungsoo answered with a sleep-roughened voice that sent chills down Jongin’s spine and made his knees weak in the best way possible.

“Good morning,” Jongin said, smiling happily into the phone. “You aren’t up yet?” 

 _“Hm?”_ Kyungsoo murmured, and there was rustling over the line. Jongin imagined that Kyungsoo must be turning over to look at the clock. There was a noise of exclamation just a few seconds later. Jongin chuckled as Kyungsoo asked, surprised, _“It’s already eleven?”_

“Yeah,” he said, amused. “Are you doing anything today?”

 _“I don’t think so,”_ Kyungsoo said dubiously, and there was more rustling that Jongin assumed meant Kyungsoo was getting up. Kyungsoo yawned lightly, and then continued playfully, _“Why? You want to do something?”_ _  
_

Jongin flushed, scratching the back of his neck. He lowered his hand as soon as he realized Kyungsoo couldn’t see him, and let out a laugh. “Guilty as charged.”

 _“Sure,”_ Kyungsoo replied. _“I don’t see why not. The weather is a bit chilly though.”_ Jongin opened his mouth to say something to that but Kyungsoo didn’t give him a chance. _“If you say something cheesy right now, I will come over there and kick you. It’s too early for cheesy right now.”_

“Okay, okay,” Jongin said pacifyingly, smiling to himself. “Meet in the park near your place in an hour and a half, then?”

 _“Yeah,”_ Kyungsoo said, and in the background water began to run. Jongin bit his bottom lip; Kyungsoo was getting ready to take a shower, it seemed. He wished he was over there. A wet Kyungsoo was a great Kyungsoo, he’d learned.

“I’ll see you then,” he said, swallowing his dry throat, and hung up. He sat there, trying to calm himself down, and looked at the clock on his bedside table and groaned.

An hour and a half would not pass by fast enough.

He dropped onto his bed, body bouncing lightly as the springs repelled him back into the air before settling. He got himself comfortable, staring idly up at the ceiling. He put his arms behind his head as a faux pillow as he wondered how to make the time pass by quickly. It wasn’t as if he had much to do at the house unless he went out to bother either Taemin or Kevin. Taemin he crossed out easily; he still felt rather uneasy after seeing Taemin packing something questionable into that small cardboard box. He turned the thought of irritating Kevin around in his head, then sat up and smiled.

It would have to do.

He stretched his arms over his head as he headed for the door, walked out and down the hallway, searching for his friend through all the rooms. He had to be there, somewhere. He wandered around, checking all of the rooms he thought he’d find Kevin in. He wasn’t in the extra guest room, he wasn’t in the kitchen either.

He stood in the empty living room, frowning in disappointment. Was Kevin running some errands? Jongin rolled his eyes; at least Taemin seemed to be gone.

Jongin sighed and walked back to his room. Maybe he’d try and watch some TV.

He passed by the study room and paused, hearing a rustle of papers behind the door. He grinned. Maybe Kevin was taking care of some paperwork Jongin’s parents gave him to do every month. Eagerly, he opened the door.

But instead of running into Kevin, he ran into Taemin.

Shit, he thought, and began to slowly back away. Unfortunately, Taemin had spotted him easily over the papers he’d been reading.

“Jongin,” Taemin called to him, taking off his glasses to look at him. Jongin froze, sighed, and turned around cautiously, pasting a pleasant expression on to his face.

“Taemin,” he greeted politely and gestured toward the papers in front of Taemin. Maybe if he treated Taemin cordially enough, his step-brother wouldn’t start harping on him about Kyungsoo. “I didn’t mean to bother you from your executive duties as Student Council Vice-President.” Taemin stood up, eyes narrowed dangerously when he heard that. Jongin bit the inside of his cheek.

“Don’t bullshit me,” Taemin said coldly, walking around the table up to Jongin. Taemin was just the slightest bit shorter than Jongin, so he was able to stare straight into Jongin’s eyes, face up-close and personal. His face was still beautiful, pretty, and it would have seemed innocent like usual if he hadn’t had that horrible, angry expression marring it.

“You’ve changed,” Taemin said, an angry amusement twisting in his voice. His top lip curled into a half-sneer. “That pretty little idol of yours has completely wrapped you around his fingers.”

“Don’t,” Jongin said warningly, glaring. He really didn’t want to hear this from Taemin again. It hurt, knowing that Taemin was so against Jongin finding true happiness with Kyungsoo. Yet at the same time, Jongin felt pity. Taemin, he knew, was miserable, and liked seeing misery in others to try and combat his own anguish. Jongin had always been there with Taemin, mocking others promptly, helping him survive through his anger and other issues.

But now that Jongin had found someone to love, Taemin probably felt threatened, abandoned even. Jongin could relate.

They’d been through Taemin’s first depression together, after their parents had begun to fight and left the apartment to their two sons for months - years. Jongin had been there to comfort Taemin when he broke down from the stress, pressure, and loneliness heaped onto him, but this time was different.

He couldn’t comfort Taemin anymore.

It was time Taemin walked on his own.

“You don’t love me anymore,” Taemin said and the realization made his voice small. He grew serious, searching Jongin’s face, as if hoping to see something there that denied that. When he didn’t see anything, Taemin’s eyes grew hard, and he whispered, “You’ve changed so much that I almost don’t recognize you.”

“That’s what love does to people,” Jongin explained, voice gentle. “It changes you, makes you want to become a better person than you once were.” 

“Don’t even try to feed that shit to me,” Taemin yelled at him, storming away from him, anger and fear battling across his face. His face had turned an irritable red. “There is no such thing as love in this fucked up world!”

Jongin closed his eyes at that, feeling something tug at his heart. He’d used to think exactly like Taemin had, just a few weeks ago. He felt a bit foolish now as he recognized how wrong he’d been.

He opened his eyes and said simply, “There is.”

Taemin looked down at that, expression hidden behind his hair. Jongin was only just beginning to wonder if Taemin was giving up finally, when Taemin let out a laugh, soft at first, then loud and hysterical.

“What would your friends do when they see you like this?” Taemin asked between laughs. “Can you imagine how trashed your reputation would be when the entire school realizes that you fell in love with a goody two shoes idol? Not to mention, how angry Kyungsoo’s fans would be when they realize you two are dating?”

Jongin was barely able to control the anger he felt towards Taemin. He pressed his lips together in an effort to keep silent.

Taemin continued, uncontrollable, “Does Kyungsoo even know who you really are?”

Jongin slammed his hand against the wall, glaring at Taemin to silence him. Taemin stopped at that, though he still had this funny little smile on his face.

“He doesn’t know about me right at this moment,” Jongin finally said, clenching his jaw. “But he will after today.”

“Kyungsoo won’t believe you,” Taemin said, smirking as if he’d heard the answer he’d been waiting for. “It’s impossible for you to have changed so quickly. You can’t quit bad habits as easily as you think, Kim Jongin. You should know that - Kyungsoo definitely will.”

“He _will_ believe me,” Jongin said confidently, though on the inside the slightest bit of doubt had blossomed. He tried to ignore it as he went to grab the doorknob. Jongin turned on his heel, shot Taemin one last glare, and left the study room, slamming the door shut behind him angrily.

Taemin stared after him, lips pressed together in a thin line, no longer smirking. He fished out his phone from his pocket, scrolled through the contacts to highlight a name, and hit call.

“Kevin?” he asked, still staring at the door. “You can deliver my little...present to Kyungsoo now.” He hung up without listening to Kevin’s reply, and whispered, “Say goodbye to your precious love, Kim Jongin.”

  
  


  
  


Jongin had forgotten to grab his keys in his haste to leave the apartment, so he left the apartment unlocked and continued down to the park. The weather _was_ chilly, as Kyungsoo said, but not nearly as much as earlier that month. He strolled down the sidewalk, hands stuffed into his coat pockets as he watched the hustle and bustle happening around him. 

He arrived at the park earlier than expected, so he sat down on an unoccupied bench, idly observing a soccer game between three little kids. Their laughter reached his ears, pure and innocent and joyful, and he had to smile when he caught sight of their wide grins as they chased each other down.

What he wouldn’t have given to have a childhood like that.

There were more people at the park than he expected as he looked around and he frowned. Maybe it hadn’t been the best idea to meet Kyungsoo here. No doubt there would be prying eyes as they talked. He pulled his cell phone out, thoughtfully staring down at the screen.

Maybe he should cancel the date?

He shook his head as soon as the thought entered his consciousness. He was just looking for excuses as to not tell Kyungsoo anything. Sighing heavily, Jongin rubbed a weary hand down his face. He wasn’t sure if he was ready to tell Kyungsoo everything.

“Jongin!” someone called and he contained a grimace.

Well, it was too late for him to be having any second thoughts now, he told himself as he looked up to see Kyungsoo, bundled up in an assortment of layers as if to cover up his identity, walking up to him. Kyungsoo grinned at him, smile wide and cheeks pushing up against the sunglasses he wore to cover his eyes. “Hi!”

Jongin smiled back. “You look cold,” he teased. Kyungsoo’s lips puckered into a pout at that.

“My manager wouldn’t let me leave without all of this,” Kyungsoo whined as he sat down. He flopped his head back onto the top edge of the bench, exposing his pale neck from the scarf wrapped around it. Jongin eyed it, noting with faint satisfaction the slowly healing hickies just barely peeking from the cloth. Kyungsoo wasn’t a fast healer, he guessed, and the thought brought a smile into his face. He’d have to see later if the other hickies he gave Kyungsoo were still there.

“Well, we could go somewhere else,” Jongin said thoughtfully. “Where we can get some privacy. You wouldn’t have to wear all of that then.”

“Like where?” Kyungsoo asked, arching a brow. “My place is off-limits because my manager is there. Unless you’re offering to take me to your place?” Jongin was shaking his head before Kyungsoo could even finish. Taemin would definitely still be at the apartment, and introducing Kyungsoo to Taemin of all people was a no-go.

“We’ll stay here than, I guess,” Jongin muttered.

“Thank you for the thought, though,” Kyungsoo said, and Jongin could almost see his eyes crinkling happily behind the glasses. “I’m glad I have a boyfriend who cares so much about me.”

Jongin choked, surprised at the sudden teasing. Whipping his head over to stare at Kyungsoo, he could only blink, startled, at the peaceful-looking man sitting beside him. Jongin let out the breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding in, observing Kyungsoo from his new perspective. Kyungsoo looked... content, as if he had everything he wanted. Jongin could almost relate.

“If your fans ever hear you say that,” Jongin said teasingly, an unwilling smile tugging at his mouth. “I shudder to think about what they’d do to me.”

“I don’t think they’d react that badly,” Kyungsoo said, not buying into Jongin’s teasing as he cocked his head thoughtfully. He was just the tiniest bit adorable. Jongin thought idly about buying a headband with some cute cat eats on it to complete the picture. “I think they would approve of you. Most of them, anyway.”

“Oh, really?” Jongin asked challengingly. He personally didn’t believe so; Kyungsoo had some really scary, hardcore fans who were intent on marrying him, if what he’d seen from the fancams were true.

“Yes, really,” Kyungsoo said, giving Jongin an exasperated look that he could feel through the dark glasses.

“If you say so,” Jongin replied dubiously, rolling his eyes. He personally thought that Kyungsoo was putting way too much trust in his fans.

“I’m glad you agree with me,” Kyungsoo said, almost sweetly as he smirked. Their hands touched when Jongin shifted, and he kept it there for a second, savoring the tiny skin contact he had with Kyungsoo before shifting again, pulling his hands into his lap.

“There’s something I want to talk to you about,” Jongin said, sobering up. He turned to stare at the children playing soccer again, a part of him dreading to look at Kyungsoo as he got ready to spill everything. He resisted the urge to wipe his suddenly damp hands against his jeans.

“Hm?” Kyungsoo hummed questioning, tilting his head to let Jongin know he was listening.

Jongin opened his mouth when he was struck with sudden speechlessness. Instead of telling Kyungsoo everything, he found himself blurting, “I hate soda.” A couple linked at the arms passed by their bench, laughing at something, and though Jongin knew they were most likely not laughing at _him_ , he still felt embarrassed. There was disappointment there, too, but there was also a lot of relief. He relaxed immediately, and told himself, _Maybe next time._

“I...see,” Kyungsoo said quizzically, after a pause. And he added, “But I already knew that.”

Jongin slanted a surprised glance at Kyungsoo. He had?

As if he could hear Jongin’s thoughts, Kyungsoo quickly explained, “Well, I mean, I assumed that you didn’t like soda since you always asked for water when we ate meals back at Luhan’s house.” His sunglasses were slowly slipping down his nose, so Kyungsoo had to shove them back into their rightful place only three words into his explanation.

Jongin frowned. If Kyungsoo had noticed that, what else had he noticed?

“You’re surprisingly observant,” Jongin said, amazed.

“I’m a smart boy,” Kyungsoo said brightly, tapping at his head with a playful smile. Then he got up, dusting his knees before holding a hand out to Jongin. Jongin blinked up at him, looked at the hand offered, and took that hand, gripping it firmly. He was pulled from where he’d been sitting, down through the park, and onto a sidewalk. Jongin just stared at the back of Kyungsoo’s bouncing head, wondering what Kyungsoo was doing.

He allowed Kyungsoo to drag him, a little thrill in his stomach when he realized that Kyungsoo hadn’t let go of his hand yet, before asking, “Where are we going?”

“Nowhere in particular,” Kyungsoo said breezily, sneaking a playful glance over his shoulder to look at Jongin’s confused face. “But going nowhere will eventually lead us somewhere, right?”

And Jongin couldn’t help it; he fell just a little more in love with Do Kyungsoo.  
  
  


  
  


Jongin walked Kyungsoo back to his apartment two hours later. They’d ended up at a coffee shop after leaving the park, and then at a music store before heading home. Kyungsoo was still using the camera Jongin gave him, taking pictures of the two of them every few minutes. Jongin had wanted the picture with the two of them having cream mustaches - it reminded him of their couple pillows - but Kyungsoo had slapped his hand and grabbed the photo possessively. 

Jongin swung some of the CDs Kyungsoo bought for him at the music store (all of which were his own albums, Jongin snorted fondly), and every once in a while their hands would brush as they continued talking.

Word on the street about Kyungsoo out and about must have leaked because some of Kyungsoo’s loyal fans were already in the midst of stalking them a few minutes before they decided to call this date done for now.

He internally mourned at the loss of Kyungsoo’s hand in his.

Jongin sighed when they finally reached the door to Kyungsoo’s new apartment. There was a small, familiar looking cardboard box sitting innocently right in front of Kyungsoo’s door, and Jongin frowned down at it, wondering where he’d seen that box before. He shrugged a moment later and turned to Kyungsoo, who was picking it up.

“Do you always get gifts at your door?” Jongin asked flatly, trying to control the unease the box brought him. Kyungsoo rolled his eyes at his tone.

“Don’t you be getting jealous,” Kyungsoo scolded before answering, “I only get presents at my door sometimes, and normally by my hardcore fans who know where I live. All the other presents I get via my manager.”

“They need to stop giving presents to you personally,” Jongin complained, scowling. “Why can’t they just give everything to your manager?” Kyungsoo rolled his eyes again, and Jongin felt slightly offended. Why was Kyungsoo so sassy with him today?

“I need to go,” Kyungsoo said instead. He gifted Jongin one last, loving glance before disappearing into his apartment, box in hand.

Jongin stared after him, then fished for his cell phone. He opened up his conversation with Kyungsoo and typed, _see you soon! and hopefully next time i’ll get to kiss you! ;)_

He walked away only when Kyungsoo sent back, _Yeah, I’d like that._  
  
  


  
  


Taemin seemed to be in a good mood when he got home, which was a slight relief to Jongin. He’d take a happy step-brother over an angry, jealous one any day.

“You seem like you’re in a good mood,” Jongin said, eyeing him as he slowly walked over to the hallway.

“Oh, I am,” Taemin said happily, and that was when Jongin remembered. That box had looked like the one Taemin had been folding up a few days ago. Fear struck him silent. Taemin didn’t send anything to Kyungsoo, did he?

“What did you do?” Jongin demanded, unable to help his suspicions. Taemin wasn’t making it any easier on him, either, giving Jongin a look that sent him into a panic.  

“What are you talking about?” Taemin asked innocently, munching on a crunchy chip. Watching him chew nonsensically, audibly and with such pleasure, grated on Jongin’s nerves. He stormed up to Taemin and snatched the bag of chips away from him.

 _“What did you do?”_ he asked again forcefully. Taemin narrowed his eyes at him, displeased that his chips had been taken away. 

“Did you have a nice talk with Kyungsoo?” Taemin asked instead of answering, a mean smile on his face. “I sure hope you told him everything like you said you would.” He let out an ugly laugh. “You probably didn’t though, because you’re a fucking coward.” Jongin dropped the bag of chips to the floor, uncaring if they spilled everything as he took hold of Taemin’s shoulders.

“What did you send him?” Jongin asked, and he could barely hear himself over the roar of his rushing blood in his ears.

“Just a little recording,” Taemin said, eyes wide and angelic. He continued, that damnable smile still on his face, “Of you fucking Krystal, that is.”

His hands dropped from Taemin’s shoulders in shock, and he stumbled back a step.

“My poor brother,” Taemin cooed, looking like he was enjoying this, like he was enjoying the pain on Jongin’s face. “You probably never thought that I’d use that recording against you. I wasn’t going to... at least, until you fell in love with that idol of yours, anyway.”

Anger and betrayal reared its foul head in him, making his vision fuzzy. At his side, his fingers slowly curled into a fist, and he almost pulled it back to hit Taemin, but he stopped himself, squeezing his eyes shut and relaxing his hands, one finger at a time. When he finally thought that he could look at Taemin without feeling the need to hit him, he opened his eyes and squared his shoulders. He opened his mouth to say a scathing remark but rethought it and forced on a polite smile. His frustration made his smile sharp.

Taemin, who hadn’t been expecting a smile from him, eyed him warily, his own smile draining off his face. Jongin was happy to see it go.

“You know what?” he asked, taking another step away from Taemin, slowly heading for the hallway. “I hope you fall in love one day and realize all the hell you put me through. And I hope you feel bad about it. I really, _really_ do.”

Jongin touched the wall leading into the hallway, sparing Taemin a small glance before going for his bedroom. He grabbed a suitcase from the bottom of his closet, packing up everything he thought he’d need in the next few days - some shirts, a few jeans, extra boxers, his journal, paper, a pen, his cell phone, his wallet, and his keys - and glanced around his room before opening the door and leaving. He would just buy everything else he was missing when he needed it.

When he got back out to the living room, Taemin was still standing where he’d been when Jongin had left to pack. Jongin eyed him, slightly, _slightly_ concerned, before turning his eyes away resolutely to open the apartment door. He paused, halfway out the door, and turned around to look at Taemin just one more time.

“Oh, and fuck you,” Jongin said, and allowed himself to relish the shocked look on Taemin’s face.

And he left, slamming the door shut behind him for the last time.  
  
  


  
  


Understandably, Kyungsoo didn’t answer any of Jongin’s calls, nor did he answer any of the text messages Jongin sent him. Jongin had to give up after a while; his clock on his dashboard told him it was already late and he had to find some place to stay for the night before worrying about Kyungsoo.

He ended up checking himself into a hotel, and set about writing an explanation out on a paper. He didn’t know exactly what he was going to do with it, but he had the sudden urge to get everything out of his system. He wrote about his life, how his parents got divorced, and how his father ended up marrying Taemin’s mother. He wrote about his first encounter with Taemin, how beautiful and angelic he’d looked on the outside, but how broken and mean and negative he was on the inside. He wrote about the shit he’d done for Taemin, wrote about the shit he’d started doing for himself when he realized that he was just as warped and cruel as Taemin was. He wrote about the bet, and how much of a bad person he once was.

And finally, he wrote about love, about change.

He wrote about Kyungsoo.

When he was done, he sat back and rubbed at his stiff neck. He’d been leaning over the papers scattered out in front of him like it would be the last thing he’d get to give to Kyungsoo and, as he rubbed a tired hand down his face warily, perhaps that was an accurate assumption on his part. He wondered if Kyungsoo would even read these papers.

Probably not.

He nodded to himself at that, rubbing soothing circles on his closed eyelids. That sounded about right.

But still...

Even if there was a 99% chance that Kyungsoo wouldn’t read these papers, there was that last percentage left that gave Jongin hope. And hope he did. He hoped he hadn’t blown it with Kyungsoo, that he hadn’t just lost the love of his life.

He wanted to be able to see Kyungsoo’s smile in the future, hold his hand in the car while they talked about nonsensical things and sang to crappy songs on the radio, and build more igloos with him during the next snowfall. He wanted to be able to go to Kyungsoo’s concerts, hug and kiss him for a job well done after the concert ended, and leave Kyungsoo as breathless as he had left Jongin as he listened to his songs. He wanted to be able to wake up in the morning to Kyungsoo’s sleepy smile, and love like he’d never loved before.

He just... He just wanted Kyungsoo back.

Folding up the papers and shoving them into the journal, Jongin pushed himself up from his seat and stretched the kinks out of his neck and spine. He walked around the table he’d been writing on, grabbed his journal and his car keys, and left his hotel room.

He could only hope Kyungsoo didn’t hate him too much to not listen to what he said.  
  
  


  
  


When Jongin got to Kyungsoo’s apartment, night had crept over the city. The sunrise faded, darkness bleeding into the vivid reds and oranges and yellows melancholically, leaving nothing but a doleful black-blue stretching across the sky.

Jongin stepped in front of the door to Kyungsoo’s apartment, and stood there, mind blank as his heart pounded frantically in his chest.

 _Ba dump._ _  
_

_Ba dump._

He could hear it echoing in his ears like a harsh drum beating its last tune. It pumped rushing blood through his veins, and Jongin could almost feel his blood roaring like a waterfall behind the sound of his heart beating. He swallowed and raised his hand, hesitated, and finally knocked.

His breath stopped as he tried to listen for any sign of life inside the apartment, almost going as far as to press his ear against the door. Almost. When he heard nothing for nearly two minutes, his desperation grew, and he reached up to knock on the door again when it finally opened, light flowing out.

Jongin squinted, relief allowing his lungs to work again, before he realized that it had been Kyungsoo’s manager who had opened the door.

“Jongin,” Kyungsoo’s manager greeted stiffly with a short nod of his head. Jongin couldn’t help it when his heart sank. He opened his mouth to spout off reasons why he was there, but he found that he couldn’t. He shook his head, hands shaking where he was gripping at his journal, and in the end just shoved the journal into the manager’s hands.

“Please give this to Kyungsoo,” he said, squeezing his eyes shut. Kyungsoo’s manager was staring down at the journal in bewilderment, as if puzzled by what Jongin had just given him.

“I don’t know if I-” the manager started to object, but Jongin shook his head again, this time more fiercely as he tried to drown out the protests.

He dropped down to his knees and bowed his head low, ignoring how the manager stilled in shock at the sight.

“Please,” he begged as he threw away all his pride. The ground felt rough and coarse against his palms, and rocks dug into his knees through his jeans. His forehead was almost touching the dirty ground, but Jongin paid it no heed. “Please give that to Kyungsoo.”

The manager was silent, contemplating, and Jongin dared not to open his eyes. His fists clenched, back tensed and waiting for what the older man would say.

“Please stand up, Jongin,” the manager finally said, and sighed when Jongin refused to do it. He continued, “I’ll make sure Kyungsoo gets this, but I can’t promise that he’ll read it.”

Jongin took a shuddering breath at that, overwhelmed with the sudden emotions flooding him as he took in those words. When he finally gathered his bearings again, he whispered, “Thank you. That’s all I could ask for.”

Kyungsoo’s manager gave a small sigh and said, “Good night, Jongin,” before closing the door, extinguishing the light that had been previously bathing the entrance.

Jongin pushed himself up slowly, standing on wobbly knees. He tried to calm himself, steadying his breathing in an attempt to slow his heart rate down.

He walked around, feeling a little lost, and ended up sitting on a bench near Kyungsoo’s apartment. And there he sat as time ticked by, night slowly leaving the land just as day bloomed overhead.

Jongin, understandably, felt like he hadn’t slept a wink last night, and stood up, almost groaning when his bones and muscles gave a sound protest to his movements. He shook the feeling out of his legs, wincing because it felt like he was walking on pins and needles. The pain slithered out of his lower body until he finally left like he could walk without wanting to sit down again.

He took one step, two steps, before turning around to look at Kyungsoo’s apartment. The window curtains wobbled, as if someone had been watching him just a few seconds ago, and Jongin sighed.

So Kyungsoo wasn’t going to come out and talk to him, after all.

He ran his fingers through his hair in frustration before beginning the trek back to his car. He’d parked a few blocks away, but the distance felt too much for him at that moment. That didn’t stop him, though. He plowed through the feeling - all he wanted right now was a shower and a bed that he could sleep on forever.

Maybe after he got some rest he’d feel a bit better than he currently was.

(He doubted it though.)

  
  


  
  


Jongin had just finished crossing a busy street when a hand grabbed at his sleeve. Startled, his momentum went from moving forward to stumbling backwards.

Angry at whoever had pulled on his sleeve, he closed his eyes and counted to three before turning around with a forced smirk on his face. “Did you need-”

The words died off in his throat when he realized that it had been Kyungsoo who had grabbed him. His mouth hung open, silent, as he took in Kyungsoo’s appearance. It looked like Kyungsoo had as much sleep as Jongin had. His hair was mussed, eyes slightly red from not getting any sleep and possibly from crying as well, and he had bags under his eyes that made Jongin’s heart ache.

He swallowed and croaked, “Kyungsoo.”

Kyungsoo glared at him, anger bubbling in those once warm eyes. He pushed something into Jongin’s stomach, and Jongin automatically reached up to keep it from falling. He glanced down and uncomprehendingly stared at his journal, which had been returned to him.

“I haven’t read that, nor will I _ever_ read it,” Kyungsoo said shortly, chillingly. “I came to return it. Also, don’t call me or text me anymore; I changed my number. Goodbye, Kim Jongin. I hope I never see your face again.” Kyungsoo left it at that, turning to leave. Jongin stared after him, shocked, as he clutched his journal in his hands. Kyungsoo was almost at the street light when Jongin snapped out of it and ran after him.

He grabbed at Kyungsoo’s shoulder, spinning him around, uncaring of the people currently watching them curiously as he tried to give Kyungsoo back the journal.

“Take it,” he insisted, eyes wide as he tried to beseech Kyungsoo. His hands shook, a horrible, horrible feeling in the very back of his throat. Kyungsoo pushed him away easily.

“I told you that I didn’t fucking want it,” Kyungsoo seethed, glaring at him acidically. “I want nothing more to do with you anymore!” Kyungsoo was almost shouting, though he seemed to be trying hard not to gain any more attention than necessary. “I cried, Jongin.” His voice dropped down to a pained whisper. “I _cried_.”

That floated between them as Kyungsoo dropped his head, as if ashamed he were admitting that. Then Kyungsoo’s hands were pushing the journal back into his, weaker this time, but with no less determination.

“Kyungsoo,” Jongin said, taking an unconscious step forward. Kyungsoo skittered backwards, tottering at the edge of the sidewalk as cars raced by as he shook his head frantically.

“Don’t come any closer to me,” Kyungsoo warned him, and Jongin felt a flash of alarmed worry when he realized just how close to the cars Kyungsoo was getting.

“Kyungsoo, you-” Jongin tried to warn Kyungsoo, but Kyungsoo shook his head, turning around and tripping when he found that there was no more sidewalk behind him.

A blare turned his attention to the left as Kyungsoo stumbled from the sidewalk, tripping right into the nearest car lane. Kyungsoo was scowling as he struggled to get back on his feet but Jongin paid no attention to him as he turned his head at the sound. His eyes dilated in panic when he saw the car coming at Kyungsoo quickly, the journal falling from his hands.

He was running before his journal even hit the pavement.

He got to Kyungsoo in time, pushing him out of the way before the car hit him full on. He heard the impact and he realized just a second too late that he was airbound, easily, like he weighed nothing, like gravity didn’t apply to him in that one second, before he came crashing down onto the ground. Pain shot through his nerves like wildfire, and he didn’t comprehend that he was crying until Kyungsoo was there, hovering above him, tears welling up in his own eyes and dripping down to Jongin’s already wet face.

“Jongin, Jongin,” Kyungsoo was calling his name. Jongin could barely hear it over the ringing of his ears, but he put on a smirk, hoping to relieve some of worry sketched out onto Kyungsoo’s face. Instead, Kyungsoo seemed more worried, squeezing his hand in a tight grip as he shouted at someone to call an ambulance.

“Stay with me, Jongin,” Kyungsoo told him, searching his face. It was painful for Jongin to speak, so he merely squeezed Kyungsoo’s hand with his own. That seemed to alleviate some of Kyungsoo’s distress, so he did it again, though his arm was quickly becoming numb.

“I’m going to be fine,” Jongin managed to rasp out, smiling painfully. Kyungsoo seemed to gather his bearings at that, nodding resolutely.

“You _will_ be fine,” Kyungsoo said, gripping onto his hand tightly.

“I’m sorry,” Jongin whispered, and tried to blink the tears out of his eyes. He couldn’t, though, and his vision grew blurry as he tried to look up into Kyungsoo’s eyes. Everything hurt. He whispered again, “I love you.”

Kyungsoo pulled his hand up, pressing it against his damp face as he said back, “I love you, too.”

“When I get better, I’ll show you my dance,” Jongin promised brokenly, his voice nothing but an exhale. It was getting harder to breathe. Black spots danced in his eyesight.

Kyungsoo’s reply was lost in the sounds of an ambulance. Jongin squeezed Kyungsoo’s hand again instead.

Then he closed his eyes, and smiled one last time.

  
  


  
  


The start of the new semester began without a hitch. The school started the new semester by holding a service that morning in honor of Kim Jongin, who died just one week before school started, and Lee Taemin was getting himself ready in the men’s restroom. He was reading through the cards he’d written his speech on idly, picking out his facial expressions in the mirror, when the door to the restroom opened and in came Mister Idol himself, Do Kyungsoo. 

Kyungsoo seemed to not realize he was there as he went about doing his business, and only noticed him when he went to wash his hands.

“Hi,” Kyungsoo said to him, with a little, almost genuine smile that he gave through the mirror’s reflection. Taemin eyed him distastefully before pasting a smile onto his own face as well. “My name is Do Kyungsoo. Have we met?”

“Oh, I don’t think so. I think I would remember if I had met someone as famous as yourself,” Taemin said breezily, his face pinching up slightly when his lips tightened around the smile. Kyungsoo made a nonsensical sound at that, nodding thoughtfully. Taemin forced himself to ask, “Do you like it at this school so far?”

“It’s impressive,” Kyungsoo said. “I’m sorry to hear about your brother, though. His death must be hard on you.”

“I’m dealing with it,” Taemin said shortly, and looked down at the cards in front of him that held his speech because he was through with looking at Kyungsoo. SIlence stretched out between them before, on impulse, he asked, “Did you know Jongin?” He sneered at Kyungsoo’s back when the idol turned to grab some paper to wipe his hands off, and quickly resumed looking at his cards when Kyungsoo turned back.

“You could say that,” Kyungsoo replied at last. He studied Taemin’s reflection in the mirror, smile no longer on his face. His face looked angry for a split second before he began to leave. “It was nice meeting you. I’ll be looking forward to your speech.”

The bathroom door closed behind Kyungsoo, and left Taemin to wonder if he had been imaging the victorious undertone to Kyungsoo’s words.

He dismissed it, and focused on getting his speech ready. He smiled and watched as the mirror him smiled back.

It was show time.

  
  
  


  
  


Halfway through him giving his rather moving speech, someone came into the auditorium and made a ruckus. Taemin narrowed his eyes, determinedly ignoring the insulting student as she whispered to a row of students before going to the next.

Murmuring echoed in the quiet room as everyone grew distracted. Students began to hesitantly leave the auditorium, first one at a time, then by droves. At one point, they stopped bothering to be quiet as they exited the auditorium, talking loudly amongst themselves as the noise level outside grew.

Taemin slammed his palms down angrily when this continued to happen, furious. He yelled into the microphone, “Do you people have no respect for the dead?”

They ignored him as they left.

Taemin gritted his teeth angrily and marched down from the stage, following the other students out. He found a big crowd outside, all reading pages bound together by simple black clips. He looked at them incredulously, wondering why on earth people had ditched the service to _read_ , of all things, when Krystal flounced up to him, smiling sweetly as she disrespectfully shoved one of the small books at him before leaving. Taemin stared after her, wondering what had her panties in a twist.

Taemin blinked down at book he’d been given, and noted the title, _Kim Jongin’s Journal_. His hand hovered to pull the pages open, hesitating, before he took the cover with his fingers and flipped it to reveal the pages that laid waiting inside.

He skimmed through each page, watching his and Jongin’s secrets unravel before his eyes. Everything he’d done was written within these pages, from start to finish. Jongin had catalogued it all, penned it in like he was trying to make the memories last. Tears sprang behind his eyes as he looked up.

Everyone else looked back at him, disappointment and disgust lining their faces.

Taemin laughed at them, laughed so hard that the tears he’d been trying to hold back began to stream down his face, unchecked.

You are amazing, Kim Jongin, he thought almost wryly, and cried for the brother he’d lost.

  
  


  
  


Months later, Do Kyungsoo made a brilliant comeback. His title song was a ballad over a lost love, and his new album itself held a lot of beautiful love songs. He made references to Polaroid pictures, and couple pillows, and people began to wonder what had happened to their little idol. These songs were different from the ones he normally had on his albums, and his fans found that weird. 

Speculations rampaged through the social networking sites about his change. Some reasoned that he must have fallen in love during his time in his new high school, while others guessed he’d had these songs for a while, and that his company was finally willing to try them out.

His album hit the shelves, and it sent his fans buzzing frantically when they read his Thanks-To.

Because on the last page of his Thanks-To, he’d written:

 

 

_Our love didn’t last for a tomorrow, like I had hoped, but I’m glad I loved you._

_Thank you for loving me._

_Signed,_

_Do Kyungsoo_

 

 

**fin.**


End file.
